Foreskin Envy: Trying to find the solution?!


Question: Well, after months of researching, posting on forums and sites, and being pissed and depressed, I'm still looking for an answer.

As I've said before, I'm circumcised. Had it done at birth due to misinformation. Gay, fifteen, and partner's uncut.

Subject's on my mind constantly, how I'm missing out, how I can't feel as much, how it hurts, and how it's unfair.
Family's given me crap for it, made fun of me for it, and never listened to my side of the case. Sister had her kid circumcised, regardless of what I /tried/ to tell her.

But I think what bugs me most is that I can't look at another male without wondering if he's circumcised or not. Then my opinion changes based on what I think his status is. And I can't help myself from doing it, and I really hate it.

Anyways. I know, restoration could help alleviate things, but I don't know what to do about the emotional conflict.

Any help is appreciated.


Answers: Well, after months of researching, posting on forums and sites, and being pissed and depressed, I'm still looking for an answer.

As I've said before, I'm circumcised. Had it done at birth due to misinformation. Gay, fifteen, and partner's uncut.

Subject's on my mind constantly, how I'm missing out, how I can't feel as much, how it hurts, and how it's unfair.
Family's given me crap for it, made fun of me for it, and never listened to my side of the case. Sister had her kid circumcised, regardless of what I /tried/ to tell her.

But I think what bugs me most is that I can't look at another male without wondering if he's circumcised or not. Then my opinion changes based on what I think his status is. And I can't help myself from doing it, and I really hate it.

Anyways. I know, restoration could help alleviate things, but I don't know what to do about the emotional conflict.

Any help is appreciated.

I had so many of the same feelings you describe! People telling you it's silly, to forget it and get on with your life have no idea. This is an injury to the psyche. I couldn't do that as much as I would have liked to. I understood rationally that I shouldn't feel this strongly about it. We have every right to be angry about being mutilated against our will but these feelings hurt so much we have to deal with them. The gut-wrenching strength of my anger and hurt was overwhelming.

The only thing that allowed me to continue my life was rapid eye movement therapy EDMR. http://www.helpguide.org/mental/emdr_the... It's a trauma therapy and you and I have been traumatised by the sight of a real, whole penis and the realisation that we have been mutilated. I was shocked when I saw a mate masturbating when I was about 12. The fact that he could stroke the entire length of his penis with the gliding action of his skin made me realise I had lost a lot. I investigated further and realised I had lost a hell of a lot.

During the therapy sessions I had to think of images that had disturbed me, while watching my therapist's finger move regularly from side to side. Images then would flow unbidden across my inner eye. A scene from a Leyland Brothers' movie "Across the Top" showing an aboriginal circumcision with a razor blade was one of the worst that kept coming up. [Obviously I was not the only young male who saw this and remembered it. http://www.exploroz.com/Forum/Topic/4867... see reply 6 of 8.]
But there were heaps of others. I was often in tears afterwards but it seemed to act like a waking dream and help my brain process a lot of my deep hurt, anger and envy.

Before I used to always wonder if a male was whole or cut and particularly what their attitude was to circumcision and foreskins.

Now my anger is at a rational level and the feelings no longer control my life. Rationally I believe that circumcision is a disgusting mutilation that was done to me for no good reason, because of the lies told to my parents by the medical profession at the time. Now I campaign against the practice but my anger no longer takes over my entire life and much of my thinking time like it did before.

So I still hate being circumcised and circumcisers but like I hate people cutting down the rainforest or hurting women and children. It's no longer an all-consuming hurt that consumes my life. I really suggest you find a professional therapist who is prepared to try this.

If you need to talk more about this email me. I really do understand pretty much exactly how you feel.

It sounds like you need to go to some sort of sex therapist that specializes in things of a sexual nature. Perhaps this person can help you and even give you the names of doctors that might be able to do this type of surgery ( if it can be done).
I hope that this is of some help.

I actually prefer circumcised guys, it makes you look bigger, and I just like how it looks. Honestly, at this point, all your worrying isn't doing you any good, because there's no way you can get your foreskin back, lol. I think you need to just accept it, you'll be happier, I promise.

My Human Sexuality book also says that circumcised decreases the risk of adult penile cancer, urinary tract infections, and that it provides increased protection against HIV

How times change. In my generation feelings about circumcision were just the opposite. If you were not circumcised you were different from all the other guys. This is a Jewish thing that spread to America in the 1940's. It was believed it prevented disease and was generally overall healthier. Also, there was a problem with tight foreskin that made cleansing around the penis difficult and was sometimes painful. It has only been recently that doctors now think circumcision is not necessary and it is healthier to leave the foreskin alone. I think you will find there are still many, many boys being circumcised. There is nothing to be embarassed about. You were a baby when it was done and had no say in the matter. Your parents thought they were doing the right thing. Actually, I really do not think it matters one way or the other. Do not go through the process of restoring. It is a very unnecessary and painful procedure.

I don't understand why you can't have great sex being circumcised and what makes the difference if your partner is uncut?????

If you truely enjoy sex then what is the Big Deal????

I was uncut till the age of 28 and I went and got Circumcised.......it was one of the BEST things I ever done for myself..........I didn't like the skin and NEVER will.

I won't and don't mind it on someone else, I mean I can do them with or without it.......it doesn't matter, but, I do prefer CUT...........because it looks so much better and as far as I am concerned it feels so much better also...........

When I got Circumcised, it increased Every Sensation that I ever had to OMG Sensations...........so, I don't know where you get off by saying that you are missing out of everything.......

I think that you need to Wake Up and Forget what was done to you and make the Best of It, because it Truely is the BEST!!!!!!!

Good Luck Your Ventures..................

Ah, try to refocus on something other than another guy's member which you can't see anyway. Men (and women) are much more than a collection of body parts. I think you need to stop obsessing on this. Mind over matter.

You may attempt foreskin restoration techniques, it involves stretching. I did some of the stretching for a while and it did make a difference, believe it or not. See this site for advice !

http://www.norm.org/

But I wouldn't advise surgery. It's a little gross, and expensive (kind of like peeling a banana back (root to head) and sewing it over the end...yikes !) and I would imagine the scarring will do you NO good.

dood be happy with your penis lol
that's pretty much all i have to say

Well try tp focus on the positives, its much more hygienic, many prefer it, and you only lose 5% of sexual pleasure anyway.

If you are truly unhappy with, maybe the restoration is a good idea.

don't complain you will have better sex





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