Why do men beat up women?!
Question: My gf and I have been going out for a while and we're pretty serious. she went to visit her mom and last night her ex came over and beat her in a jealous rage she had to go to the hospital. why do men do this and how can i handle the rage i feel? I just want to be there for her and i can't coz of work, i feel helpless. what would you do, im not a violent guy but right now I could k**l with my bare hands!!
Answers: My gf and I have been going out for a while and we're pretty serious. she went to visit her mom and last night her ex came over and beat her in a jealous rage she had to go to the hospital. why do men do this and how can i handle the rage i feel? I just want to be there for her and i can't coz of work, i feel helpless. what would you do, im not a violent guy but right now I could k**l with my bare hands!!
Gosh I'm sorry that happened to her. There are many known explanations for why a man is violent towards the woman he supposedly loves. First - violence breeds violence. If the guy grew up in a household where it was the norm for his parents, siblings, grandparents, etc. to beat the sh*t out of the children or eachother, then it was what he learned as a way to "deal" with anger, stress, fear, jealousy, and as discipline. Where he grew up (like in the deep south or rural areas) it was probably "traditional" for the man to be the bread winner and for the mom to stay at home and be submissive to the husband (hello, have you ever watched "Wife Swap"? There's a lot of that going on!). A lot of people out there still believe in disrespecting women and that men are superior by all means (aka chauvanism/misogynism).
But most men who beat up women as adults have control/power issues. They have to feel in control of "their woman" (a possession to them) by "keeping her in line" and whacking her around a few times when she disobeys him, makes a mistake, or - god forbid - has a mind on her own. Jealousy and possessiveness are the feelings that cause him to act out on his rage - in this case, her ex-boyfriend obvoiusly didn't want her to be with you or even just be WITHOUT him anymore, and he beat the crap out of her as revenge or, in his warped mind, as a way to scare her back into being with him.
Just for educational purposes, you can recognize subtle signs that a man might become violent by if he criticizes her for little, unimportant things, emotional/verbal abuse, his anger seems inappropriate for the given situation/he snaps easily, he wants to know where she is/what she's doing ALL the time, won't let her have any independence, accuses her of cheating or being too "friendly" with men, he invades her physical space too much, he makes degrading jokes about women, and he has a history of physical violence (like getting in fights at school, abusing pets/animals, or destroying property).
The whole thing is disgusting, and I'm sorry you had to be the victim of this too. All you can do is be there for her and make the hell sure you get a restraining order on that son of a b*tch. If moving is an option, I'd suggest doing that too, clean slate. You can release your anger by going to a private place, like taking a drive (only when you are in a CALM state of mind), parking somewhere private, then just yelling at the top of your lungs and pounding on the steering wheel. Go to a batting cage, the gym, or for a jog and release your anger through physical activity. Your girlfriend might need some counseling, and she will definitely need support from you. And let her know just how much it DISGUSTS you what that assh0le did to her and that you would never, ever in a million years do anything like that to her, that she can trust you. She may not totally trust you (or any men) after what happened, but that is where you do your best to remain calm around her and always show total respect, even when you have disagreements.
I wish you the best....
they are stupid
he is obviously insecure cant control his emotions and maybe his mom or dad usto beat him when he was a kid.
why cant there be peace in the world?
men who beat woman are insecure and pick on someone who is weak. Men like that may have experienced violence and abuse in childhood or are just full of themself. They may have also been bullies and spoiled all their life. There a number of reasons. Just go work out at the gym or do something that releases anger. I would advise you to pray and go see her when you can.
I was assaulted by a random man i didnt even know last year and im still suffering from a brain injury i received.
I dont know for sure why he done it but i think its a power thing.
He had lots of previous convictions of assaulting people and guess what they were ALL against women!!
These guys are usually nothing but cowards and pick on people when they least expect it and know they have the better chance of winning.
I hope your girlfriends ok! Your rage is understandable, my male and female friends and relatives still feel rage when they think about him and what he done to me.
And i most certainly still do too!!
I used to be in an abusive relationship. It was hard to leave him because he was nice and sweet most of the time. He only actually hit me twice in the 4 years we were together. He did push and shove, though, and he liked to intimidate me sometimes. I think he did it because he had a lot of anger issues and didn't know how to express himself. He liked feeling like he was controlling and I think intimidating me made him feel powerful. He told me that he would black out when he would hit me, but I think he just said that so I wouldn't blame him. The best advice I can give you when you feel like you're about to explode is to walk away. Even when she's screaming at you to "get back here this instant" you just have to walk away. Go outside. Pace. Calm yourself and don't go back until you feel like you have a handle on the situation. I'm so sorry to hear about your girlfriend and my thoughts are with you both.
Guys who beat women are @$$#*!3$.
No real man touches a lady without her consent, or planning to hurt her.
Hello,
As a women who has had her hair pulled out, teeth cracked, bruising,being kicked and had this happen one time while pregnant, as well as having someone break there hand hitting me I can tell you it is all control.
Frustration due to not being able to control someone smaller is all these guys need to loose control of themselves and start wailing.
You will have to be very calm with your g/f if you want the relationship work. After such abuse we tend to not trust guys, even raising your voice may bring back memories for your g/f.
Never be surprised if your girlfriend acts different after this incident, maybe to the point of never wanting to marry?
I wish you and your g/f well!
=O that's not cool. But hey, it actually works both ways. Women also beat up men, and even kill other men because of what they've done...but that also works the other way, too.
The best way to handle this is to sue the pants off the the ex. Take as much as you can from him so you can pay for your gf's medical bills (and buy her something nice afterwards). Don't take revenge on him by physically hurting the ex. It won't turn out good. Just try to practice as much self-control as you can. If you do end up hurting the ex, make sure it's nothing light (again, I wouldn't suggest doing it).
Only insecure men with serious mental issues that do it to feel powerful will do it... Sickos
because some men as a**holes but im sure your not