So how can i get him aroused for sex?!


Question: we are both virgins. just recently i told my boyfriend i want to "get to know eachother better"

we attempted one time, and he couldn't get it up so that failed, i thought it was just the nerves of being our first time and such

tonight, i tried assisting him with a hand job after he was done fingering me. problem was it didn't stay up. we went thru TWO unused condoms, attempting it. there was this oen time that we almost had it but it went soft again. no lie, 7 times we tried.

after we were done and just quit, he mentioned that he doesnt know if its nerves anymore, that maybe its pressure from movies and such to be "good"

i told him forget all that and that it doesn't matter what happens between us, we're new at this and we're learning.

i'm a little concerned, because he's only 20 yrs old. he should have problems like this. i don't know what's going on, and way to get him aroused, and to keep him aroused long enough to put a condom on and after wards?


Answers: we are both virgins. just recently i told my boyfriend i want to "get to know eachother better"

we attempted one time, and he couldn't get it up so that failed, i thought it was just the nerves of being our first time and such

tonight, i tried assisting him with a hand job after he was done fingering me. problem was it didn't stay up. we went thru TWO unused condoms, attempting it. there was this oen time that we almost had it but it went soft again. no lie, 7 times we tried.

after we were done and just quit, he mentioned that he doesnt know if its nerves anymore, that maybe its pressure from movies and such to be "good"

i told him forget all that and that it doesn't matter what happens between us, we're new at this and we're learning.

i'm a little concerned, because he's only 20 yrs old. he should have problems like this. i don't know what's going on, and way to get him aroused, and to keep him aroused long enough to put a condom on and after wards?

From your description it sounds like both of you need to get a little more used to being with each other. It is quite possible that he experiences mental pressure to perform; it is very common and natural. You did the right thing to tell him to forget about all that, however the change won't happen over night, your partner will need quite a bit of time to overcome his performance anxiety.

One thing which can actually boost his performance is an analysis for erectile dysfunction. He may not need to visit a doctor, although a doctor visit may boost his self esteem more, but it may also be quite embarrassing. I would let him make that decision.

A good sign that your man doesn't have erectile dysfunction is if his penis gets hard during the night while he is sleeping or he notices an erection in the morning after waking up. I posted a link below with more info on that. If his penis never gets fully hard, just somewhat thicker but still flexible, it is better to go to a doctor.

After you guys looked at erectile dysfunction, give yourself plenty of time, don't think of intercourse for now, and focus on foreplay only for the next few weeks/months. I posted a second link below to give you more background. The idea is that your man will learn that he is able to satisfy you during foreplay, which will in turn boost his confidence. Over time he should see that he can get hard normally, and eventually he will initiate penetration on his own without any pressure from your side.

Not to be disrespectful, but to give you the full picture, there is a small chance that a man can grow to be 20 years old and not have realized that he is less interested in women. Again no disrespect, but another possibility you should keep in mind if everything else keeps not working.

maybe you can just give it a rest for a while. by letting it happen a little more naturally he won't be as nervous and more capable of staying up. just continue with the 4play for a while and get more experienced in that and then when he's more comfortable you can finally go all the way. he's probably so worried about it that it's causing him to lose it. just work your way back up to it and when it happens... just let it happen, don't plan it. (you can bring the condoms.) good luck and great job on being safe!!

Look like he got problem. Young guys who have erectile problem have several factor; maybe he's using drugs? Men that smoke a lot and drinking too much also a factor.

I really think it is the pressure to perform and nerves. Quit trying to force the issue, go back to just doing normal things and take the pressure off. I'm sure now it is going to be even worse because he's had all these failed attempts, just hang in there, don't expect anything and have a good time, it will happen.

Have you tried oral sex?





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