Help! How can I get my husband to accept Erectile Dysfunction?!
Question: Help! How can I get my husband to accept Erectile Dysfunction!?
Specifically, his ED is caused by anxiety (he has no medical problems)!. ED meds are prescriped for men with medical issues!. While he is dealing with his anxiety, he refuses to give up "trying" in bed (I'm trying to keep this clean)!. I'm getting fed up with getting 90% of the way there and then when it comes to the actual act - nothing! I've told him I love him and I'm willing to wait until this works out, but I'm getting tired of being woke up at all hours of the night to "try and see if it works this time" not to mention the "backed up" feeling from attempting so many times!. Short of moving out of the bedroom, how can I communicate this to him!? Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Maybe you can convince him that you pick one night on the weekend when you can have relations!. Then you can spend an hour or more doing foreplay and not have any stress on him or you!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
Since you've already diagnosed him, are you a doctor!?
How do you know that it is anxiety and not a medical problem!? Do you have X-ray vision!? Only a doctor and testing can diagnose him properly!. There can be many conditions that aren't apparent which can physically cause this!.
One that is usually ignored is insensitivity due to damage from circumcision!. Sensitivity continues slowly to decline throughout the victim's life, and leads to sexual dysfunction!. It's another reason that Viagra is prescribed most in the US!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
How do you know that it is anxiety and not a medical problem!? Do you have X-ray vision!? Only a doctor and testing can diagnose him properly!. There can be many conditions that aren't apparent which can physically cause this!.
One that is usually ignored is insensitivity due to damage from circumcision!. Sensitivity continues slowly to decline throughout the victim's life, and leads to sexual dysfunction!. It's another reason that Viagra is prescribed most in the US!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Oh wow!.!.!.!.I had this problem a while ago!.!.!.it definitely is psychological!.!.!.the guide on http://www!.mistermanpower!.net teaches some excellent methods that work to overcome ED, both physical and mental!.!.!.!.
If you are open with him, you may want to refer him to the pageWww@Answer-Health@Com
If you are open with him, you may want to refer him to the pageWww@Answer-Health@Com
The only thing I can suggest is for your husband to consult a mental practitioner
because his problem is all in his head!.
He needs to find out what is causing this problem and a regular doctor isn't ggoing to be the answer!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
because his problem is all in his head!.
He needs to find out what is causing this problem and a regular doctor isn't ggoing to be the answer!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
The only way is to sit him down and pour your heart out just make sure you have turned the tv off and you have everything you both need first otherwise he will maybe make excuses to leave the room!.
good luckWww@Answer-Health@Com
good luckWww@Answer-Health@Com
Perhaps you should both see a sex therapist!. You say he's seeing someone for his anxiety but the problem is in the bedroom!. This is something that you both need to work on!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
ugh!.!.i hope i never have to go thru this!.!.!! what a nightmare!.!.
hun, just stay with him!.!. do all you can to get that man hard!.!. i have no absolute clue what ED could be!. Did u say its a anxiety problem or it's a medical problem!? If its anxiety, you should tell your husband to seek some counseling!.Psychiatrist do help and can really make a difference!. Honestly, do whatever u can bc if it continues to be like this, then y ou are headed for a sexless marriage!. I don't believe in cheating, so if you have too and ur not happy, DIVORCE him, but don't cheat on him! But yeah, seek a counselor to help you guys get thru this!. Im sure you guys will be okay!.!.!. i feel sorry for ur husband, that probably is eating up his manhood!. A man that cannot even get himself up!.!.ugh thats some serious self esteem problems! good luck 2 ur marriage!.!. i hope everything works out okay!Www@Answer-Health@Com
hun, just stay with him!.!. do all you can to get that man hard!.!. i have no absolute clue what ED could be!. Did u say its a anxiety problem or it's a medical problem!? If its anxiety, you should tell your husband to seek some counseling!.Psychiatrist do help and can really make a difference!. Honestly, do whatever u can bc if it continues to be like this, then y ou are headed for a sexless marriage!. I don't believe in cheating, so if you have too and ur not happy, DIVORCE him, but don't cheat on him! But yeah, seek a counselor to help you guys get thru this!. Im sure you guys will be okay!.!.!. i feel sorry for ur husband, that probably is eating up his manhood!. A man that cannot even get himself up!.!.ugh thats some serious self esteem problems! good luck 2 ur marriage!.!. i hope everything works out okay!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Edited after further comments:
Sometimes ED sets in early!. Sometimes it has a "marginal" cause -something difficult to diagnose!.
Look, has he tried ED medication!? I mean, just given it a "shot"!?
ADDED: He could try it anyway!. If he has no counterindications (bad health, other drugs) maybe he could get some from a friend, or a sample from a urologist!.
There is no "test" for ED!. You go to the urologist, you say "I get it up, but can't keep it up"!. He checks for enlarged prostate, then says "Well, I can't tell what the problem is!. take these pills and try them"!. If the doc asks about anxiety, you say "Yeah, but I don't think that's the problem!. I'd like to give the Cialis a shot though!.!.!.
Is he a little overweight!? (compared to his regular weight)
Is he more tired than usual!?
ADDED: this has happened to me!. It was some kind of ED!. Even on the pills though, it can happen!. To much fatigue, booze, a little extra weight on me, wrong dosage, etc can cause it to occur!.
Waking up and wanting to "try again" isn't mental!. He probably truly is not sleeping well and is getting - umm!.!.!. well, "horney" i guess is the best word for it!.
ADDED: Maybe he can try a sleeping pill or something, or just get it out of the way earlier in the evening!.!.!. hey, I wake up that way all the time!. Sometimes I just need to pee!.!.!.!. I always want "it" when I wake up like that, but I had to get used to the fact that "it" isn't always available!.
Oh to be back in the honeymoon days!.!.!.!. "it" was always ready then!
Is there a way to have a private conversation on this thing!?!?
ADDED: Or a public one!.!.!.
Err!.!.!. to answer your actual question, maybe you could show him this question you posted!.!.!. you communicated the frustration here pretty well (except I'm not exactly clear on the use of the phrases "90% of the way there" and "that backed up feeling"!.!.!.)
ADDED: Wow, I really got some messed up ideas about women -- the risk of being married for 20 years to one person I guess!. I'm sorry you feel let down, but at least you feel need!.!.!. man, I really let a lot of life go by!.!.!.
And one more PS!.!.!. maybe "moving out of the bedroom" is a good idea!.!.!. not as a punishment, there could be some benefits!.!.!. it might give him a little privacy to "work it out" himself, give you both a little more rest (having you beside him and knowing you're willing to "try" is probably a distraction), and you can make up for the intimate time outside the bedroom!.
A couples counselor is one way to communicate with someone when you're having trouble doing it yourself!.
ADDED: To be very clear and specific!.!.!.
No one can say whether ED medication will or will not help until AFTER it has been tried!. Anxiety MIGHT be the problem!.!.!. this different than IS the problem!.
Unfortunately you're getting blocked up by some well-intentioned by misguided medical ethics issues!.!.!.!. Cialis/Viagra are "try it and see" drugs!. Though there CAN be physical indicators, the only SURE physical indicator is difficulty in getting and maintaining an erection -- and YOU GOT THAT!. Cialis takes longer to be effective (ignore the advertising), but lasts for several days than Viagra!. I haven't tried Viagra!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Sometimes ED sets in early!. Sometimes it has a "marginal" cause -something difficult to diagnose!.
Look, has he tried ED medication!? I mean, just given it a "shot"!?
ADDED: He could try it anyway!. If he has no counterindications (bad health, other drugs) maybe he could get some from a friend, or a sample from a urologist!.
There is no "test" for ED!. You go to the urologist, you say "I get it up, but can't keep it up"!. He checks for enlarged prostate, then says "Well, I can't tell what the problem is!. take these pills and try them"!. If the doc asks about anxiety, you say "Yeah, but I don't think that's the problem!. I'd like to give the Cialis a shot though!.!.!.
Is he a little overweight!? (compared to his regular weight)
Is he more tired than usual!?
ADDED: this has happened to me!. It was some kind of ED!. Even on the pills though, it can happen!. To much fatigue, booze, a little extra weight on me, wrong dosage, etc can cause it to occur!.
Waking up and wanting to "try again" isn't mental!. He probably truly is not sleeping well and is getting - umm!.!.!. well, "horney" i guess is the best word for it!.
ADDED: Maybe he can try a sleeping pill or something, or just get it out of the way earlier in the evening!.!.!. hey, I wake up that way all the time!. Sometimes I just need to pee!.!.!.!. I always want "it" when I wake up like that, but I had to get used to the fact that "it" isn't always available!.
Oh to be back in the honeymoon days!.!.!.!. "it" was always ready then!
Is there a way to have a private conversation on this thing!?!?
ADDED: Or a public one!.!.!.
Err!.!.!. to answer your actual question, maybe you could show him this question you posted!.!.!. you communicated the frustration here pretty well (except I'm not exactly clear on the use of the phrases "90% of the way there" and "that backed up feeling"!.!.!.)
ADDED: Wow, I really got some messed up ideas about women -- the risk of being married for 20 years to one person I guess!. I'm sorry you feel let down, but at least you feel need!.!.!. man, I really let a lot of life go by!.!.!.
And one more PS!.!.!. maybe "moving out of the bedroom" is a good idea!.!.!. not as a punishment, there could be some benefits!.!.!. it might give him a little privacy to "work it out" himself, give you both a little more rest (having you beside him and knowing you're willing to "try" is probably a distraction), and you can make up for the intimate time outside the bedroom!.
A couples counselor is one way to communicate with someone when you're having trouble doing it yourself!.
ADDED: To be very clear and specific!.!.!.
No one can say whether ED medication will or will not help until AFTER it has been tried!. Anxiety MIGHT be the problem!.!.!. this different than IS the problem!.
Unfortunately you're getting blocked up by some well-intentioned by misguided medical ethics issues!.!.!.!. Cialis/Viagra are "try it and see" drugs!. Though there CAN be physical indicators, the only SURE physical indicator is difficulty in getting and maintaining an erection -- and YOU GOT THAT!. Cialis takes longer to be effective (ignore the advertising), but lasts for several days than Viagra!. I haven't tried Viagra!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I don't get it: O!.k!. let's say he accepts ED, then what!? If the condition is because of anxiety then Viagra or the rest won't help!. Those drugs are effective for physical inabilities, not mental anxieties!.
I wonder from your mentioning, "try and see if it works this time," that you are trying for a reason (like getting pregnant)!. If this is true, than I would say that's the crux of the problem!. I know, because it was a problem I had!. (Well, that and the fact that I was on anti-depressants and beta blockers-pure hell!) If this is the case you have to remove the pressure to perform (believe me it turns into a chore)!. You do that by taking a break and finding more spontaneous times to "do it!."
Www@Answer-Health@Com
I wonder from your mentioning, "try and see if it works this time," that you are trying for a reason (like getting pregnant)!. If this is true, than I would say that's the crux of the problem!. I know, because it was a problem I had!. (Well, that and the fact that I was on anti-depressants and beta blockers-pure hell!) If this is the case you have to remove the pressure to perform (believe me it turns into a chore)!. You do that by taking a break and finding more spontaneous times to "do it!."
Www@Answer-Health@Com