How Can I Get My Husband To Have Sex With Me More Frequently?!
Question: How Can I Get My Husband To Have Sex With Me More Frequently!?
I'm looking for serious, mature answers here please!. I don't want to be told that he's gay or that I'm a nymphomaniac or that I should leave him for someone else!. I married this man and even if we had no sex at all, there are still so many things to love about him and I will be sticking it through with him no matter what!.
As it stands now, we have sex about 6 times a month!. When I don't feel like having sex (on my period or I just don't feel good) I always make sure he is satisfied by going down on him or doing pretty much whatever else he wants!.
Now when I want sex and he doesn't, he isn't so accommodating!. I understand the physical impossibility of him having sex with me when he's tired, but is being hungry a usual excuse also!? Most of the time though, he just doesn't feel like it!. And he won't offer to do anything else for me either; I just have to go play with my vibrators, which I find quite boring when I could be having sex with him!.
He's mind-blowingly hot in bed whenever we DO do it, and I know he likes it, he just has a very low sex drive and mine is somewhere between normal and high!.
I'm always initiating sex, do you think I should stop that!? I leave him in no doubt that I think he's hot and that I want him!. It's really hard not to beg, because who knows, today might be my lucky day! But if it would help things, I'd consider it!.
I always make sure I'm fresh and clean, especially if I'm going to want him to go down on me!.
I meet him at the door in sexy lingerie and cook dinner wearing it!.
I'm affectionate, caring, and I truly love him with all of my heart, I just need more sex than I'm getting and I don't know how to go about getting it!. I've tried asking him point blank for more, and a month after we first got married, I actually cried myself to sleep about it!. Is this something I'll just need to learn to deal with!?
Guys, what do you think would work for you!?
Ladies, have you ever been in this situation!? Did anything help!?
Thanks!Www@Answer-Health@Com
As it stands now, we have sex about 6 times a month!. When I don't feel like having sex (on my period or I just don't feel good) I always make sure he is satisfied by going down on him or doing pretty much whatever else he wants!.
Now when I want sex and he doesn't, he isn't so accommodating!. I understand the physical impossibility of him having sex with me when he's tired, but is being hungry a usual excuse also!? Most of the time though, he just doesn't feel like it!. And he won't offer to do anything else for me either; I just have to go play with my vibrators, which I find quite boring when I could be having sex with him!.
He's mind-blowingly hot in bed whenever we DO do it, and I know he likes it, he just has a very low sex drive and mine is somewhere between normal and high!.
I'm always initiating sex, do you think I should stop that!? I leave him in no doubt that I think he's hot and that I want him!. It's really hard not to beg, because who knows, today might be my lucky day! But if it would help things, I'd consider it!.
I always make sure I'm fresh and clean, especially if I'm going to want him to go down on me!.
I meet him at the door in sexy lingerie and cook dinner wearing it!.
I'm affectionate, caring, and I truly love him with all of my heart, I just need more sex than I'm getting and I don't know how to go about getting it!. I've tried asking him point blank for more, and a month after we first got married, I actually cried myself to sleep about it!. Is this something I'll just need to learn to deal with!?
Guys, what do you think would work for you!?
Ladies, have you ever been in this situation!? Did anything help!?
Thanks!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
I dont have much experience of this but because you answered my question so nicely I thought I'd share my 2 cents in a hopefully clean and acceptable way!
Males drives are linked to Testosterone, so have a low drive can be helped by increasing this!.!. (There are drugs but my opinion is to only use these as a last resort as our bodies are normally equipt with the tools to fix ourselves)!. There is no such thing as a 'normal' body so never say anything that could make him feel abnormal or ashamed about it, this will push him away! Remember that women peak around in their 30's and men in their teens!.!.!.!. and the more you have the more your body wants!.!.!.
HOWEVER there may not be anything wrong as such!. You are together, just not as much as you'd like!. If you werent together at all then that could signal other problems!.
Some questions to ask yourself in your head!.!. (or maybe him)!.!.
Have you ever had more frequency!? If so!.!.
What was different then!?
Is he stressed!? Unhappy!? Pre-occupied!? Under emotional trauma!? Is he on any medicene!? Is his diet full of fatty/sugary/snack food!? (This will affect him!.!. Is his work physically demanding/long hours!?
If everything is ok emotionally then it might be that a few simple things can increase his chemical levels, so things like exercise can help!. This increases adrenaline once the pain thresh-hold is reached, and this helps create more testosterone (but can tire him out!.!.!)!.!.!. Try to make sure tv, lads nights etc arent getting in the way!. Food is important so make sure he is fed, and not just coming in through the door from work!.
Stimulate all his senses in the day!.!. Sight, smell, taste, sound and touch!. Maybe try with-holding some for a short time (not in a nasty way, but like forbidden teasing games!.!.)!.!.!. E!.g!. One idea is to go out for the day and tell him he isnt allowed to touch or kiss you at all until you are home!.!.!. (I have heard of this lasting for 3 days!.!.!.!.!.)!.!. whisper sweet things in his ear (without touching him, just let him feel your breath and built up the anticipation!.!.)
Some foods have aphrodisiac properties!.!. dark chocolate, (or any chocolate can help you feel attracive and there for!.!.) Strawberries, Asparagus, Almonds!.!.Bananas, Avacardo, Truffles!.!. Maybe try searching for this!.!.
Also try wearing Vanilla perfume, or burning a Vanilla candle!.!. it's faintly sweet but is supposed to associate the brain with sweet chocolate- which is good!.!.!.
Men are very visual creatures!.!. so maybe instead of presnting yourself in underwear, try dressing up in a nice dress or something so that there is more to unpackage!.!. they like the chase, and he can imagine what is underneath!.!.
BUT MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL!.!.!.!.
Talk to him!. Be gentle and just say that you'd like more, but you want to work together to work through any issues, boundaries, insecurities!.!.
That you want to have fun together, but also share your intimacy!. Make time to talk and listen!.
Make sure he knoew that you prefer him to any 'toys'!.!.!.!.
Compromise is important, but if you continue to be unhappy and he doesnt show willing to meet you half way, or talk, then you might want to consider talking to somone about it!. Its amazing what problems we worry about, and how little things can have such a big impact!.
One last note- DONT make him always connect touch and intimacy leading to the bedroom as otherwise he will shy away and feel under pressure WITH EVERY SIGN OF AFFECTION!!
I hope that helps you and that some things might connect with you and help you work things out to a satisfactory concludsion for both of you!. Stay strong and devoted!. (2 cents finished!!)Www@Answer-Health@Com
Males drives are linked to Testosterone, so have a low drive can be helped by increasing this!.!. (There are drugs but my opinion is to only use these as a last resort as our bodies are normally equipt with the tools to fix ourselves)!. There is no such thing as a 'normal' body so never say anything that could make him feel abnormal or ashamed about it, this will push him away! Remember that women peak around in their 30's and men in their teens!.!.!.!. and the more you have the more your body wants!.!.!.
HOWEVER there may not be anything wrong as such!. You are together, just not as much as you'd like!. If you werent together at all then that could signal other problems!.
Some questions to ask yourself in your head!.!. (or maybe him)!.!.
Have you ever had more frequency!? If so!.!.
What was different then!?
Is he stressed!? Unhappy!? Pre-occupied!? Under emotional trauma!? Is he on any medicene!? Is his diet full of fatty/sugary/snack food!? (This will affect him!.!. Is his work physically demanding/long hours!?
If everything is ok emotionally then it might be that a few simple things can increase his chemical levels, so things like exercise can help!. This increases adrenaline once the pain thresh-hold is reached, and this helps create more testosterone (but can tire him out!.!.!)!.!.!. Try to make sure tv, lads nights etc arent getting in the way!. Food is important so make sure he is fed, and not just coming in through the door from work!.
Stimulate all his senses in the day!.!. Sight, smell, taste, sound and touch!. Maybe try with-holding some for a short time (not in a nasty way, but like forbidden teasing games!.!.)!.!.!. E!.g!. One idea is to go out for the day and tell him he isnt allowed to touch or kiss you at all until you are home!.!.!. (I have heard of this lasting for 3 days!.!.!.!.!.)!.!. whisper sweet things in his ear (without touching him, just let him feel your breath and built up the anticipation!.!.)
Some foods have aphrodisiac properties!.!. dark chocolate, (or any chocolate can help you feel attracive and there for!.!.) Strawberries, Asparagus, Almonds!.!.Bananas, Avacardo, Truffles!.!. Maybe try searching for this!.!.
Also try wearing Vanilla perfume, or burning a Vanilla candle!.!. it's faintly sweet but is supposed to associate the brain with sweet chocolate- which is good!.!.!.
Men are very visual creatures!.!. so maybe instead of presnting yourself in underwear, try dressing up in a nice dress or something so that there is more to unpackage!.!. they like the chase, and he can imagine what is underneath!.!.
BUT MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL!.!.!.!.
Talk to him!. Be gentle and just say that you'd like more, but you want to work together to work through any issues, boundaries, insecurities!.!.
That you want to have fun together, but also share your intimacy!. Make time to talk and listen!.
Make sure he knoew that you prefer him to any 'toys'!.!.!.!.
Compromise is important, but if you continue to be unhappy and he doesnt show willing to meet you half way, or talk, then you might want to consider talking to somone about it!. Its amazing what problems we worry about, and how little things can have such a big impact!.
One last note- DONT make him always connect touch and intimacy leading to the bedroom as otherwise he will shy away and feel under pressure WITH EVERY SIGN OF AFFECTION!!
I hope that helps you and that some things might connect with you and help you work things out to a satisfactory concludsion for both of you!. Stay strong and devoted!. (2 cents finished!!)Www@Answer-Health@Com
You said you have told him point blank!. Was it confrontational!? It should have been a calm open conversation from the heart!. And I also like the idea of covering up and not always initating sex!. Kudos to you for NOT wanting to go outside of your marriage!. Cheating is never the answer!. Good Luck to you!Www@Answer-Health@Com
I don't have your husbands problem so I really don't know!. Have you tried firing him up with porn!? You might not like it but grit your teeth an give it a shot!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
This happened to us after having our son!. We used to have sex A LOT but after becoming parents, we didn't get physical very much!. Now that my son is close to two, things have went pretty much back to normal!. are there a lot of stress in your life now!? With school, work, kids, etc !.!.!.we both feel too tired to have sex way too often!.
also, what is your age difference!? my guy and i are 10 years apart, me being younger!. He just doesn't want as much sex as I do and that is something else we had to work through!.
The thing is, if you love him and he loves you, you'll find a way to work it out!.I think all normal, healthy relationships go through since sort of thing from time to time and hopefully, it will get better!. I would sit him down and talk to him about it again!. If he loves you, he will at least TRY!.
as a side note, you want to make sure there isn't anything fishy going on with him!. I'm not just talking about another woman, I'm talking about his mental health in general, his job, other relationships, etc!. There may be something going on that is affecting him negatively that you don't know about!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
also, what is your age difference!? my guy and i are 10 years apart, me being younger!. He just doesn't want as much sex as I do and that is something else we had to work through!.
The thing is, if you love him and he loves you, you'll find a way to work it out!.I think all normal, healthy relationships go through since sort of thing from time to time and hopefully, it will get better!. I would sit him down and talk to him about it again!. If he loves you, he will at least TRY!.
as a side note, you want to make sure there isn't anything fishy going on with him!. I'm not just talking about another woman, I'm talking about his mental health in general, his job, other relationships, etc!. There may be something going on that is affecting him negatively that you don't know about!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
I think tell ur husband to do more physical exercise, it will make him more fit and his sex drive would increase!. I think you should keep your body covered most times as it would make him more eager and there would be a surprise factor for him which might work!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It a horrible thought I know but have you considered that he may be getting it elsewhere!.
If you're making all that effort and he's not the slightest bit interested I find that hard to believe unless perhaps he's already been satisfied and just isn't up for it again!.
Another possibility is that he just doesn't like going down and he doesn't know how to tell you so he avoids sex instead of confronting you about it!. As enjoyable as it is for us women a lot of men find it a turn off and when he comes home and finds you all fresh and clean as you state then he may start to worry!.
The best thing to do is talk to your husband there's no point worrying about something unless you have something to worry about!.
Www@Answer-Health@Com
If you're making all that effort and he's not the slightest bit interested I find that hard to believe unless perhaps he's already been satisfied and just isn't up for it again!.
Another possibility is that he just doesn't like going down and he doesn't know how to tell you so he avoids sex instead of confronting you about it!. As enjoyable as it is for us women a lot of men find it a turn off and when he comes home and finds you all fresh and clean as you state then he may start to worry!.
The best thing to do is talk to your husband there's no point worrying about something unless you have something to worry about!.
Www@Answer-Health@Com
Oh I share your pain! I am having exactly the same problem, exactly, except I think we do it even less than you!.
We have talked about it extensively and I'm confident he finds me attractive, he enjoys sex and he loves me!. He just says he's got a lower sex drive than me!. I think part of the problem is we are constantly bomarded with the idea that men are always thinking about sex and have a higher sex drive than women so when the situation is reversed it feels so wrong!.
I've tried everything, aphrodisacs, sexy underwear, porn!. I tried backing off in case he felt de-masculated but that just resulted in a total sex drought!. I tried crying and threatening to have an affair!. He doesn't know why he is this way, it can't be anything phyical cos when I manage to get him going he is great!. I suspect it's just laziness, he knows I'm going to do it so why bother!? Sometimes he just puts his hand behind his head and lets me do all the work!
A big part of the problem is he thinks sex is not really that important whereas I think it is a vital part of a realtionship and is a guide as to how healthy a relationship is!. I worry that we will grow apart emotionally as well as phyically!. Not to mention the frustration!
I'm trying to remind myself that most people lie about how often they do it and how good it is!. Maybe it's normal to not do it so much when you've been together a while!.
I think the comment about upping his physical activity does help a little cos when he was going to the gym he was a bit more active, maybe cos he felt more attractive!?
I really hope you find the answer to this cos it might help me too!Www@Answer-Health@Com
We have talked about it extensively and I'm confident he finds me attractive, he enjoys sex and he loves me!. He just says he's got a lower sex drive than me!. I think part of the problem is we are constantly bomarded with the idea that men are always thinking about sex and have a higher sex drive than women so when the situation is reversed it feels so wrong!.
I've tried everything, aphrodisacs, sexy underwear, porn!. I tried backing off in case he felt de-masculated but that just resulted in a total sex drought!. I tried crying and threatening to have an affair!. He doesn't know why he is this way, it can't be anything phyical cos when I manage to get him going he is great!. I suspect it's just laziness, he knows I'm going to do it so why bother!? Sometimes he just puts his hand behind his head and lets me do all the work!
A big part of the problem is he thinks sex is not really that important whereas I think it is a vital part of a realtionship and is a guide as to how healthy a relationship is!. I worry that we will grow apart emotionally as well as phyically!. Not to mention the frustration!
I'm trying to remind myself that most people lie about how often they do it and how good it is!. Maybe it's normal to not do it so much when you've been together a while!.
I think the comment about upping his physical activity does help a little cos when he was going to the gym he was a bit more active, maybe cos he felt more attractive!?
I really hope you find the answer to this cos it might help me too!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Thanks for answering my question by the way!. I don't think I can really be of that much help here!. Me and my wife only have sex about 3 or 4 times a month!. She is always initiating it because I have trouble being attracted to somebody that I don't like mentally!. I wish I could be of more help!. Sorry!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Did you just recently get married!? If so maybe there's to much change going on for him right now and he's afraid of getting you pregnant!? Maybe there's other stresses in his life affecting him!. Just try talking to him instead of jumping him!.!.!.he might open up and let you know what's going on!.Www@Answer-Health@Com