How to talk to my dad or mom about my penis problem?!
Question: How to talk to my dad or mom about my penis problem?
Answers:
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
I doubt you have phimosis or any other problems withyour penis. If you did, you parents would already know because there is no way you could keep it from them.
You probably have a tight foreskin. That means you are perfectly normal.
You know, it is so silly to think that you have to do things to hurt yourself or to be like somebody else. Just because someone says you have to retract your foreskin why do you think you have to do it? The reasoning is not correct that if a foreskin isn't retractable it can cause problems with cleaning and sex, and if it doesn't retract it's not functioning properly.
There actually are millions of men in the world at any one time, myself included, who do not retract their foreskin. I have a number of current patients in a similar condition and have, in the past, treated men in Europe, Asia and Australia with the condition of tight foreskin. Not one that I have personally met and not one that I have ever read about has a problem with cleaning. Nor do they have problems with masturbation or sex. And I have to join with them in saying that it is ridiculous to suggest that our penises are not functioning properly.
Your penis and your foreskin are a unique team. They work together almost always in perfect harmony. Some guys have a foreskin that retracts, so they retract it. Some guys have a foreskin that does not retract, so they leave it alone. Some guys have had their foreskin removed and no longer have a choice. If you are watching videos, then the guys are probably porn stars and they do so much drugs and other stuff that their sexuality is no longer normal in any case. I would not worry about them.
If your foreskin does not easily retract, do not try to force it to. It does not have to. You do not have to pull the foreskin back to put a condom on, to masturbate, or to have sex. It is an absolute nonsense to think so. Only people who really do not know will tell you this is necessary.
Some people label a tight foreskin as phimosis. Generally people with a tight foreskin do not have phimosis, they just have a tight foreskin. There are millions of guys in the world with this condition which is quite normal. The only abnormal thing is when you try to stretch a foreskin that does not need to be stretched or try to use medications that rarely have any beneficial result.
The unfortunate thing is that retraction has been taught, mainly in USA, because personal hygiene was not taught. Washing a penis with the foreskin covered (not retracted) is very easily achieved and very efficient. Any boy or man can be shown how to do it if they are having a problem. The same goes for masturbation or sex. Many will argue that it is much more effective and it certainly feels great. I cant compare it to an open foreskin, because I have never done it that way.
Just leave your foreskin as it was intended to be. Anything you do to yourself that hurts is normally not a good thing to do, so don't do it. That particularly includes the terrible mutilation of circumcision which will leave you damaged for the rest of your life. If you’ve never pulled back your foreskin, then just don’t be conned into thinking that you have to. Some people do because they have a loose enough foreskin to do it, and some people don't because they have a tight foreskin. It is a simple as that. There is no right and wrong about it. There is nothing less normal either way. It is just how things are. Some people force themselves to retract by stretching and using creams and all sorts of stuff. It is ridiculous and has the distinct possibility of causing life time damage. Don’t ever do it!
Doctor of Andrology
At 15, it's awkward to talk to you parents about most things. This may not be surgery warranted, but it is something you should talk to your dad about. It is hard, and it is going to be uncomfortable to start.
Ask him if you can go somewhere to talk, you want to be somewhere that you are not going to be interrupted, or overheard.
Take a deep breath and tell him that you think you are having a problem with your foreskin, but you need to see the doctor to be sure. Chances are it can be treated without a circumcision (hopefully), but if it isn't, the doc will need your parents consent before they can do anything.
Relax and talk to him. He was a young guy once too, he will understand.
Hopefully no circumcision, just some stretching and steroid creams...
Hope this helped you a bit, and good luck, with everything...
personal experience
OK, so all by yourself with no medical training you've diagnosed phimosis or frenulum breve and determined that circumcision is the appropriate treatment. I think you're getting way ahead of yourself.
First you should know that the term phimosis has been so overused that it is almost meaningless. It's common to have a little problem with foreskin retraction during puberty, as the structures grow at different rates and take some time adjusting and settling on a new adult balance. At birth, the foreskin is naturally fused with the glans (not glands) underneath and this attachment may persist until age 17. Most cases of nonretracting foreskin are from the opening being too small, which often corrects itself, or can be helped along with some GENTLE stretching.
For too long, the medical response to these normal developmental difficulties is to slice up the penis and remove several square inches of important, sexually responsive tissue. Circumcision is rarely needed. Even if the foreskin remains stubbornly unretractable, the penis can still function perfectly, stimulation to the glans provided by the foreskin gliding back and forth across it. Realize that it may be perfectly normal for your foreskin to not retract at your age, and this ability may develop as you grow older. If it doesn't, it isn't a disaster, and if you want to gain this ability after you have finished maturing, there are many options available without getting carried away and slicing off your whole foreskin. Frenulum breve (a very rare condition) can be corrected by frenuloplasty. If a nonretracting foreskin does not respond to gentle stretching exercises, the opening can be widened surgically with a small snip. If it won't retract because of unnatural adhesions, those can by severed without removing the foreskin.
Knowing all this, if you still want to talk to an expert about penis anatomy and development, tell your dad that you have some questions about your development that you'd like to discuss with a doctor. Your dad (or mom) will of course want to know what you're worried about, knowing that they may possibly be able to help because of their experience in the world. If your dad is intact, he may have gone through a developmental bump like this himself. Try to be open with one or both parents, but if you just can't bear opening up to them, tell them you want to see the doctor about a personal problem you don't feel comfortable about sharing with your parents. If you decide to see a doctor, remember that circumcision is not necessary and realize that some doctors still have a tendency to react to any problems with the foreskin by slicing it off, because their training has erroneously told them that a foreskin is a useless decoration instead of a valuable, necessary part of the penis. Resist efforts to convince you to have it cut off and tell the doctor that you want to keep your foreskin. It's there for good reason and you may well regret the changes that you would face if it were removed. This is an irreversible procedure.
Phimosis is pretty rare and is mostly used as an excuse by
greedy doctors to do quite unnecessary procedures.
Frenulum breve cannot be diagnosed at your age because penis is still growing.
I see you're 15. A tight foreskin is not unusual in mid-puberty
and the problem is more likely to be the frenar band than the frenulum.
Google = frenar band it has a muscle that closes it.
Try relaxing it in the bath or pull it forward to relax it each time you pee
when it's wet n'warm.
In most guys this sorts itself out by 17, so you don't really need to talk
with your dad and certainly don't need circumcision.
No you don't need to "clean underneath" it = that's pro-cirk propaganda
neither is there any great need to retract it.
This is not a problem - it usually resolves by itself as you grow up.
BTW = You can have sex with it forward if you wish.
+
Hi there. You have already got some good answers here from people like James, Beery and Dr Kyron. The essential part of all this is that you seem to be stressing about something that is perfectly normal and that most guys deal with.
I am not sure what you think phimosis is, but it sure is not what you think. Phimosis is a fairly chronic condition of the penis - and you certainly do not have that. I would stop worrying about what you think you have got and just get on with enjoying life. You do not need circumcision - that is a gross mutilation of your penis and certainly not something to entertain lightly.
Ask yourself: Can I masturbate? Do I enjoy it? Do I ejaculate (***/come)? If you answered yes to these questions, then you can rest assured you are perfect and normal.
No two penises in the world are the same, but they are all designed to perform certain functions. If you do the thing it is designed to do then you don't have a problem. Stop trying to compare yourself to other people (particularly porn stars) and just be yourself.
Paul
Hey Daniel, is it possible you have a really close mate who you could ask?? might make the embarrassment less if you could ask them. If not, just come right out with it to your dad, asking him if he 'ever had a problem with his foreskin'. Chances are he might've and might be able to give you pointers. Don't pull him aside, get him when his busy or his distracted, this will make it less embarrassing for you!
If not, try the whole warm shower/bath idea. I remember having quite a tight foreskin as an early teen and it took me probably a couple of months to be able to retract it and detach the skin from the head. Just remember not to do anything that causes too much pain to avoid any damage.
personal experience
Yowch... why would you want to do that? I second the stretching (which you can do by yourself) and steroid creams (which you can stretch without - these will require a script most likely).
My partner has a partial phimosis and frenulum breve which often go hand in hand. They don't cause any problems during sex, but if they did he'd stretch it, not cut it off! Sexual activity will stretch most foreskins, combined with the hormones of puberty. Adult phimosis is usually caused by scar tissue from someone having prematurely forced the foreskin back, so be careful that whatever you do is not to the point of pain.
At your age, you can make a doctor's appointment without needing to tell your parents what for - they should respect your privacy. There is a list of intact-friendly doctors here who may be able to help: http://www.thewholenetwork.org/intact-fr…
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/wiki/Tig…
http://www.fathermag.com/health/boy-care…
http://nocircumcision.blogspot.com/2009/…
http://pages.suddenlink.net/manual_metho…
Omg, that would be my worse nightmare, okay i have an idea where you dont have to tell your parents anything, tell your parents you need to go see a doctor and that it is very important, and if they ask what it is, tell them you cant tell but its an emergency, they should be worried enough to make an appointment, when you get to the doctor tell them what the problem is then after because they have to be confidential about everything ask them not to tell your parents because doctors don't have permission to tell your parents without your consent but that depends on your age, anyways if it comes to it, it would be much easier having your doctor tell them then having you tell them, I hope this helps and Good luck D:
You 'think' you have phimosis or frenulum breve, so you've decided to get a procedure done that fixes NEITHER of these problems?
As Wazir says, tight foreskin is extremely common at your age - normal even. I had it myself. As you grow, it fixes itself naturally. If it doesn't by age 18, that's the time to get it seen to. There's no rush.
Find out what problem you actually have (if you even have a problem), then see if you need to get the problem fixed - NOT by circumcision, which can only make any problems you have far worse.
It is not a serious surgery. If you are over 18 you can have it done without consulting them. If you are not then just approach your parents (or the parent you feel less uncomfortable with discussing this) and explain that you feel you may have a health issue that is causing you discomfort and you would like to make an appt. with your family doctor. They should be understanding since this isn't something you can help and it isn't an STD or anything. I know it is awkward to talk to you parents about these things but I think you'll be OK. Good Luck!
Well my advice would be to try stretching excercises, you don't need a circumcision to fix it, esspecially at 15. At your age the foreskin can stretch pretty well.
Just get a full erection, then pull the skin as far back as you can WITHOUT pain and hold it there for 5-10 minutes. Do this around 3 times a day.
You don't mention how tight the skin really is. You don't say if you can retract the foreskin when soft. If you can't retract the skin all the way when soft or if you can get it at least half way back hard then I would do the stretching excecises 10 minutes at a time until it gets looser.
It's not all that uncommon for a 15 year old to just now be able to retract his skin. Some guys are late bloomers with it. Just work with it and the stretching excercises for a couple months and see what that does for you. They do take a while to cure the whole problem but you should start seeking results after the first two weeks.
If you still want to talk to your parents let them know that you want to avoid a circumcision and try all other options first, then let your doctor know that. American doctors tend to be very ignorant about the foreskin and just recommend circumcision without offering other treatment. There is a steroid cream that a doctor can prescribe you that will help the stretching process go faster.
-Connor
There are many simple and efficacious treatments for this problem. DO not be alarmed. It will loosen as you age, you are still young and it is normal. There is steroid cream and certain masturbation exercises that stretch the opening of the foreskin.
this links should tell you every thing you need to know.
http://www.cirp.org/library/treatment/
just get ur dad in Private and tell him what u told us then if need be its ok to show him ur {p} so he can see what the problem is besides its better than doing the same thing to a doctor that is a stranger to u if he thinks u need a doctor then he will take u but im sure it wont come to that im 18 and i've had my man parts intact for all these years without a problem hope i helped :) ps ur still young u probably just need to stretch it more id recommend in the shower with warm water because it makes the skin more looser
maybe try to tell your doctor during next physical or check out
http://nocircumcision.blogspot.com/2009/…
http://nocircumcision.blogspot.com
yeah man, that is an awkward thing to talk about it. maybe start by e-mailing him or telling him in some way that is more relaxing rather than face to face. (or maybe just have a few drinks with him first)
just say hey you guys this thing between my legs you too made i think some thing might be wrong with it then leave the rest up to them but dont keep stressing your self out about it
What's the problem. He was your age once upon a time. He's been there & done that. Just get him alone - when he's in a good mood & explain that you need to talk something over with him that's pretty much private.
Explain your concerns so he can make arrangements for you to see a Urologist for evaluation.
If that ends up being his findings - then a circumcision is not all that big of a deal. I had it done last year myself.
Embarrassment is NOT FATAL.