Need ideas on why i cant last in bed?!
Question: Need ideas on why i cant last in bed?
even if i go slow its just so intense that i lose it. Sometimes if the girl is on top and doesnt do it where i get a lot of tension i can last longer but then it doesnt feel like anything at all, and wearing condoms does help a little but i still can do what i want to do in bed.
i have been doing kegel exercises and working on the stop and go technique for a long time and its still not helping, especially when im with someone new
i think it has to do with how nervous/excited i get and it like im extra sensitive or something.
i have been thinking about getting a fleshlight as they have the stamina one does anyone have any knowledge of these??
any advice would be great, especially from ladies how should i handle this? should i tell the girl before we have sex i have this problem, should i just pretend like its not a problem? Would you be upset if this happened to you or would you be understanding? i mean sometimes i stay hard so i can keep going another time but i still come fast again.
thanks in advance
Answers:
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
Your problem is quite common, it may or may not have anything to do with how many sexual partner you have or how many times you have sex. It simply means that your penis is very sensitive.The good news is there are alot of products out there that can be bought to delay the ejaculation . If you go to your the stag shop they have products that they can recommend.Some of which are products that you simply spray on your penis 15-30 minutes before sex and it desensitize your penis to some degree just don't use too much and follow the directions
I don't know how many sexual partners you have, it will better if you have one partner and you have sex at least once a daily for a week your penis will desensitize and you can control how long you want to last.
I hope it helps
in the same boat.But try to get rid of the anxiety,try sdme lengthy foreplay,try different styles/positions etc and U may let HER understand your case.The second round lasts Longer.GL.
try desensitizers, they are made for that problem and will help you last.
http://www.lustfuldesire.com/sphinx_sear…
You are just not getting enough sex. The more you get the longer you will last. Try doing it three or four times in a row.
It might work, but it does take practice.
Regarding using a Fleshlight for lasting longer, the general effect is that the Fleshlight provides enhanced levels of stimulation and types of sensations above and beyond what can be achieved with your hand. If all you've ever known (or mostly known) is the feel of your own hand, the full pleasure of intercourse will be so overwhelming that you'll climax very quickly. If you get used to something much more pleasurable than your hand, the sensations of intercourse won't be so overwhelming and you'll be more likely to be able to last longer. In fact, some Fleshlight models are designed to actually provide more physical genital stimulation than you experience during intercourse. Essentially, you can experiment and practice with higher levels of pleasure at your own pace whenever you want. (Plus, it's always around for that extra solo time that everyone wants even if they're getting plenty of sex. Quite a luxury.) So, in short, since almost all the Fleshlights (except the smooth non-textured) provide sensations that are better than your hand, they should all help take the edge off of being overwhelmed when it comes to intercourse.
As long as you order something other than the "original" smooth texture, or any of the smooth versions (no texture), it might help. That having been said, the STU Stamina Training Unit is designed with a texture inside (http://www.fleshlight.com/fleshlights/st… ) that provides one of the highest levels of sensation available for the Fleshlight. The idea is that if you can learn to last a while in the STU, you'll probably be able to last longer in just about any situation.
I don't personally have experience with the Stamina Training Unit, but I do have experience with the Vortex (http://www.fleshlight.com/fleshlights/sl… ) As wild as it looks, it actually feels much more realistic to me than the Wonder Wave that I've tried. If you look at the inside (link above) you'll see that it has two things going for it. It has both a varying canal width that changes as you move through and it has rippling textures. Although it looks like a zig-zag when you look at it, it feels more like the folds inside a vagina once you're in and you can feel the change in diameter. It adds a little twist over what you feel in a v@gina, but that helps to compensate for a what a toy lacks compared to intercourse. And, it's a nice compromise. The link above is for the sleeve only. Be sure to order the full case. The best way to do that is to use the Build Your Own link (http://www.fleshlight.com/build-your-own… ) and select Vortex at step 3.
Also, try to masturbate in closer proximity to when you think you might have sex. So, if you think it's likely that you'll have sex around 10 in the evening, if you can have a session or two with the Fleshlight earlier in the day, that might help take the edge off.
Keep a few other things in mind though:
There are many more aspects of sex beyond the sensations you feel through your genitals that contribute to the pleasures of sex. There's attraction, intimacy, body heat, movement, scent, etc. The Fleshlight can't prepare or condition you for that so if you start using the Fleshlight but still climax more quickly than you want the first few times (first few times period or first few times with each new partner), don't be surprised or feel like you've failed. This is part of the excitement of sex—feelings that are so amazing that you can't control them. As you gain more experience with sex or a partner, it will even out. You're only failing at being a good partner if you climax quickly and then just think "I got mine" and roll over and don't get your partner off. If you get yours quick, it's your duty as a good partner to do everything and anything your partner wants in order to get her off also. If you do that, you aren't a failure . . . you're good at sex.
Also, when you're with someone new, it shouldn't be too surprising if you get overwhelmed with excitement. The newness is part of the excitement. Just keep what I said above (about compensating) in mind.
Good luck.
-
All opinions are from personal experience, having owned both the Wonder Wave and the Vortex, and being sexually experienced. There are referral links above, but that does not affect my opinion. What it does do is provide incentive to take the time to write out what will hopefully be a more helpful and insightful answer than you might otherwise have received.