Why does my partner hate sex?!


Question: Why does my partner hate sex?
My 21 year old boyfriend says he has come to hate sex. He doesn't masturbate much, only when he feels he should and says he struggles to maintain an erection as there is a mental block.

It has been a long time since anything sexual, and it has started to affect me. I feel unattractive and unwanted. He isn't having an affair, and just tells me he hates sexual activity because of his erection problems.

Any idea how I can help or any ideas how I can get our sex life back on track?
At 21 he should be wanting it all the time shouldn't he?

Answers:

Hey, I know how you feel. I was going through this exact thing with my boyfriend(and even posted a question about it before). It can be hard and frustrating. I always felt like it was something that I did or wasn't doing...Maybe I wasn't as attractive as I used to be, or maybe he didn't love me as much he used to. Maybe I just didn't do it for him anymore. We're both 21 and I couldn't help but think, this can't be normal.

I was so frustrated that instead of talking to him about it(which usually lead to short answers and 'I don't know' responses) we started fighting. This made things worse. I got to the point where I was thinking about leaving him. And then I realized that I wouldn't, and couldn't leave him over sex.

I decided to talk to him when we were both relaxed and fairly calm. I told him that I had been thinking about leaving, because I was so frustrated, but with those thoughts I realized that sex wasn't THAT important to me. I love him, and he loves me. We take care of eachother. We are eachother's best friend. Sex was just a bonus.

We ended up having sex after that and our sex life is back to being fairly frequent.

Anyways, my point is that maybe he just needs a little space and some time. He could be stressed out at work(or because of lack of work), over family or relationship. He might be feeling inadequate because he is having trouble with keeping an erection, and this would only add to the problem.

I really hope things work out for you. Hang in there, sometimes people have sexual lulls. He is not abnormal, or inadequate. You are not unattractive or not doing something right. Sometimes these things need to happen. Take the time to experience other aspects of your relationship and see where that takes you. Good luck

DP

been with my bf for 5 years, and have learned a lot.



well it would help to tell us if youre a girl or a guy.
if youre a woman, then he might be gay, if youre a guy, he might be more straight oriented.
or he might just really have erectional problems and therefore dislike having sex.
because believe you me, at 21 and every year after that the urge to have sex is quite big.
so big even that men spend their entire life working for more and more cash just so they can get a better sex partner than when they are poorer.

so he should go see a doctor and get that problem in line and he will be on you like seabisquit.



He might be having psychological problems or an erectile dysfunction... I male at 21 must want sex 24/7!

16 year old male



Maybe he's having erectile dysfunctions and is too embarrassed to tell you. Maybe something like Viagra would help?



Psychological counseling can help him learn to deal with his issues.




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