why do men have to hold onto their package at all hours of the day?!

When exactly would it not be available??

I have a penis. And it always seems available.
*I typed this with my left hand, my right one is busy

Though I know this is a troll question, I'll answer anyway. Males aren't always holding on to their genitals. They may have to adjust a few times during the day because of the position in which their genitals shift in the course of action that they do during a normal day. When it's warm, the testicles tend to stick to their legs from time to time and adjustment is needed then also. It's completely normal, though some males make it more obvious than others. It's just part of a male being who he is and having the genitals he does.
As for the remote thing, that's just being stereotypical as not all males watch television all day long. Some do, while others don't and it's nothing wrong with holding the remote and enjoying a little television now and again. Hope this helps.

Yes, there are a few males that have a tick or an exhibition habit, but they are really few. The other have to readjust something from one to 20 times a day, depending also on size and status.

I never really hold onto my package.......o.o; That is if we're on the same page here of what 'package' is.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaand as for a remote I never hold onto on.. o:

Good question, and the answer is the same.

Girls are always after my package and keep wanting to change channels too!

to protect themselves from the night bummer. All men dread him.

bumming

I hold mine because it will spill out and knock somebody's eye out if I don't.