I need help in convincing my husband?!


Question: I need help in convincing my husband?
I am from a middle class family. I married a man about 10 years ago who has erectile dysfunction problem. For a long time after marriage on one pretext or another he would avoid me. My father had borrowed around 10 lakhs to marry me off. Another younger sister of mine was married and for her marriage my father made another 10 lakhs loan. He is still trying to repay those loans. So, I could never think of returning to my father. I am not financially independent being a housewife without any job. So, I can't take divorce and stay somewhere else on my own. I am scared of eloping with somebody else. What if the guy dumps me after sometime? I don't have any sex life. I am longing to have children. My husband's sperm has been rejected as not being useful to have children. Anyway, I am not interested in artificial insemination. I want to have sex and enjoy life and have children in the natural way. Why should I be deprived of my life because he has problems? He should not have got married at all in the first place. I feel cheated. I would have married somebody else and my life would have been normal. My husband is trying to convince me to have artificial insemination using sperm from some sperm bank. I have told him I want to have children in the natural way. I don't want to have children not knowing who their father is. I should know the person and approve of him to father my children. Its been about 2-3 years that a neighbor of mine is friendly with me. He is married and has 2 children. I wish to have sex with him and have children. He is a good person and I trust him not to do anything bad. After getting the child we could relocate and live peacefully. I told my husband about this. The only problem is my husband is not agreeable to this. He has threatened to leave me and live alone somewhere if I were to have children through my neighbor. I need help in convincing my husband. I wish to continue living with him as I have no other option and he too does not have any other alternative as nobody would marry him after I leave him. We are stuck with each other. How can I make him agree to this?

Answers:

Psychological counseling could help you learn to deal with your issues.



You can't you're just really unhappy, I would get a divorce and find a job. Your husband would have to pay alimony which means income for you.



first ask your neighbour to marry with you, if he is ready marry him and proceed further for sex and
living with him. you can take divorce from current husband. but my opinion is that men always
like to have sex with anybody without any responsibilty.your neighbour will refuse you
dont damage your life doing wrong things. if your husband is unable for sex then find another partner
for life forever, legally



Somewhere a compromise has to be made. And if you love him and respect him I cannot understand how you can expect him to agree to your suggestion of sleeping with another man. Why cant you both come to terms with you predicament and tell your families and face the consequences. It is understandable that you do not want to be deprived of your sex life but there is no excuse to infidelity. Moreover, after you take such drastic measures it can only make your relationship with your husband worse. Why cant you both as adults adopt a child? And make life less complicated?
Or you should really think about ending this marriage and save yourselves the embarrassment and heartache. Thats just my opinion though, the choice is yours.




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