As an uncircumcised male, shouldn't I be the one to decide whether or not to cir!

As an uncircumcised male, shouldn't I be the one to decide whether or not to circumcise my baby boy?

First of all, yes, I think both parents must come to a decision together; I don't think it should be my choice alone. However, since I know a lot about this issue and experienced it personally, I think she should value my opinion.

I'm 25 and uncircumcised. My soon-to-be wife and I were discussing children the other day when she blurted out, "There's no way my kid's going to be uncircumcised!" Naturally, I got a little defensive and told her there was no good reason to cut off a piece of our baby's penis. The medical community agrees that it's unnecessary, and I've never had any problems with my own penis to make me think otherwise. Hygiene and appearance seem to be the main motivation for having it done. The hygiene issue is easily solved with a little water, and my fiancee doesn't seem to mind my uncut member (though I'm starting to wonder if she really does).

Regardless of this, she won't budge on this issue. What do you guys think?

Yes she should value your opinion (and you hers) because you do have the experience here, and you're right to get a bit defensive as you should. Ideally, it should be your son who decides whether or not he wants to be circumcised because it's a very sensitive and personal part of his body (as you can attest). All you should do is give him that option and control over his body by keeping him uncircumcised until he makes that decision for himself.

To help your argument, you can tell your wife about all the unnecessary pain and potential risks/complications your baby boy would be subjected to. Circumcisions are painful for the infant (link 1) though today most doctors use local anesthetics during the procedure. But afterwards, since painkillers can be dangerous for babies, the baby would have to feel pain of recovery (link 2). And the risks/complications are too often understated, and in worst case scenarios - albeit very rare - can result in death (links 3, 4).

And as you know, the hygiene issue really isn't even an issue since it's very easy to clean the foreskin and keep it clean, though things are slightly different in infants (link 5). Furthermore, good genital hygiene reduces/eliminates most problems associated with an uncircumcised penis. If your wife thinks that an uncircumcised guy is more prone to getting STDs or infections, then she should know that most studies show no significant difference. And again, good hygiene plays a huge role (link 6). In any case, good hygiene + safe sex (i.e. condom use) >>> circumcision.

Lastly, circumcision would remove a lot of nerve endings in the foreskin that could otherwise contribute to sexual sensitivity (link 7). Furthermore, severals studies indicate that the foreskin may be beneficial to the sexual satisfaction/pleasure of not only the man, but the woman as well (links 8, 9, 10).

So as long as there's nothing wrong with the foreskin (which is rarer than many people think), one maintains good genital hygiene (which is easy), and he practices safe sex (which he should anyway), there's no good reason to circumcise. Besides, 70-80% of the world's male population is uncircumcised and the circumcision rate in the US has decreased from nearly 90% to just under 60% nationally (and keeps slowly decreasing). So circumcision is getting less and less popular anyway.

So I think the circumcision decision should ideally be your son's, which means by default you should try to keep him uncircumcised so he has that option. Chances are he won't choose to get circumcised. See the remaining links for further discussion, and maybe something in them will help turn your wife around.