About my husband and our "new" sex life... please help!?!
Question:
About my husband and our "new" sex life... please help!?
okay... i've read several answers from similar questions regarding premature ejaculation. but i'm wondering if this is even the issue... we used to be able to do it for (literally) hours, and ever since i got pregnant (basically ever since he decided to stop using condoms-- which, btw, he now complains that they are painful) he can't make it past a couple minutes. yesterday morning, he crossed the line... finishing at a measley 30 seconds in. he refuses to go to the dr... hasn't been in over ten years. he's 21, and physically and mentally "there" as far as sex goes... and it disappoints him when he comes to quickly. but also, he doesn't masturbate!! he hates it... he says he'd rather have sex. but we only do it maybe twice a week... and lately it's had a yellow tinge to it.
HELP!!!!! i want my sex life back!!! especially now, when i want it the most! :(
Answers:
Hi;
If your husband is of above average endowment ( which would explain the "it hurts" complaint), there are larger prophylactics available. Perhaps he's getting hairs caught in the condom, which is a good reason to get the scissors out and neaten things up a bit.
However, being male myself, I suspect the real reason is that it's more a case of it being uncomfortable... or, more accurately, not as pleasurable as going 'au natural'. Most people desire that which is pleasurable, and going bare creates stronger, more direct stimulation to the genitalia. It feels less constraining as well. The compression to the penis can create a less sensitive member, and a latex barrier can deaden sensation even more - resulting in a delay to ejaculation. There are topical cremes which can be applied to the penis to reduce it's sensitivity and prolong intercourse. And, conversely, thinner membranes than latex available for increased sensitivity. There are numerous methods to delay ejaculation (applying pressure to various spots, varying tempo, withdrawal, mixing things up when ejaculation seems imminent...) all readily available through a few well-worded search queries, and available through online stores or local adult stores.
As for the yellow tinge, I suspect he is dehydrated (needs to drink more water during the day). The urine should be very light amber in color, not like beer or apple cider. When we aren't drinking enough water, the urine can become dark yellow like amber or honey. Small amounts of this remaining in the urethra would tinge the ejaculate. If the tinge is throughout and consistently yellowish or light greenish-yellow, he may well have and infection and consulting a physician would be wise.
Perhaps you might lovingly remind him that you know he doesn't like to masturbate and that, like him, you prefer to get your satisfaction with him as well.
There's that loving eye contact, touchy-feelie, communicating on a sincere, non-judgmental, from-the-heart, level where we express what we NEED from our partners and how it's not a complaint, but a request to indulge more in them... how much we LOVE and ENJOY that activity and time spent with them ...dancing that wonderful, playful dance... and how much you miss those times when you both could express at such length the way you feel about each other in ways that it isn't always easy to find the words for.
Good luck, and happy loving!
w