I have been with hubby for 2 years, married for 2 months.....?!
Question: I just found out tonight that he has ORAL herpies! He has known this for OVER 3 years and has NEVER told me. He says he was embarrassed and didnt think he could give it to me because he doesn't get "outbreaks".
He has had oppurtunity to tell me but never did. He's lied to me and said he has never been tested cause he was always scared to. Turns out... he has known all along.
Now, I have to get tested :(. How would you handle this situation? I love him and if he would have told me, I wouldn't have left. I still would have been with him. I understand being embarassed but he should have told me EXPECIALLY before he married me.
Answers: I just found out tonight that he has ORAL herpies! He has known this for OVER 3 years and has NEVER told me. He says he was embarrassed and didnt think he could give it to me because he doesn't get "outbreaks".
He has had oppurtunity to tell me but never did. He's lied to me and said he has never been tested cause he was always scared to. Turns out... he has known all along.
Now, I have to get tested :(. How would you handle this situation? I love him and if he would have told me, I wouldn't have left. I still would have been with him. I understand being embarassed but he should have told me EXPECIALLY before he married me.
look i'm in the same situation but i'm the one with herpes and i have known for bout 3yrs and the way he found out is when i was pregnant the doctor let the cat out the bag. he was upset at first but then he said our relationship meant more to him then this issue. he has a very strong immune system and he has only had 2 outbreaks. me on the other hand i have had about 5 or 6. its an embarrassing thing to have to tell someone that you love and your afraid of losing that person. have an open mind if you were in his shoes.
Oral herpes is very common and most people have it. If you don't have it by now, you will most likely never get it.
Dead ***?
I think I'd probably divorce him, or kill him.
This is very very unfair what he has done to you.
dont touch him until you get tested.
If youre neg, take him and go to a doctor and figure out a plan so you dont get it. It is possible to avoid it.
good luck!
oral herpies are just cold sores tons of people have them, its when they transfer to other areas that you have to worry about
Do you love him? If you don't and looking for a reason to leave. Now is your time.
Girl I know how you feel....(read my previous questions) My husband lied to me about something because he was scared to tell me. I know right now you are probably feeling very betrayed, confused, and hurt. I do agree he should have told you, but right now what's done is done. You have 2 choices...stay OR leave. Thats all there is. After you decide that then you can take it from there. IF you stay....get tested and then have a talk with your husband. Tell him how you feel. I know it may be hard to trust him but try not to let this ruin the future for you two. Tell him for now on whether it is good or bad he needs to tell you. He was probably just really embarrassed and scared. Good luck girl. It will get easier to handle with each passing day!
90 % of ppl have oral herpes its really not a big deal, chances are you have it to. most ppl dont get any symptoms aka sores but it's still present in their body. the only thing you can really do is to just avoid contact when there is a sore present.
If he never put you at imminent risk, just get over it. And, I dont think divorce should be an issue, whatever happen to 'for better or worse, in sickness and in health'. I would definitely let him know that your trust in him has diminished though, and he will need to work on getting it back.
omg ! is he crazy!? he married you and still didn't tell you?!
sorry to have to tell you this. but you can get infected even if you have no outbreaks!... this is a head's up...i wouldn't trust him much right now. I would feel the need for him to gain that trust back and it would be really hard, he shouldve thought about you if he really loved you. No matter what the outcome of it all might have been.
Get tested soon. I hope everything goes well !
PEOPLE ARE VERY MISLEAD WITH ORAL HERPIES!!!!
All they are are cold sores, do you know how many people have them in this world?
It is a FORM of herpies and YES you CAN CATCH IT if he goes down on you... you can also catch it by kissing, but proceed with caution. If he has an outbreak, dont let him downtown. If he doesn't proceed with protection. That isnt even something he should feel bad about not telling you about. On your first dates do you ask anyone if they get cold soares?!?! I guarantee if you ask about ten people you know if they have EVER gotten a cold soar at least 30% will say yes!
I seriously think you need to reconsider maiking this SUCH a huge deal.
I'm sorry I know everyone handles their own dilemas differenlty but please, ask your family and friends if they get cold soares. Thats all it is....
Victoria,
Sheesh...most people have oral herpes. You know where they get it? From their parents from being kissed by them when they are young.
I bet you have it too...
I wouldn't be too upset about it, it's very common. It's a shame he didn't tell you even though he knew. People make rash decisions, and if I were in his shoes I probably would had been quite embarrassed as well. Marriages are about working through things. I don't think you should leave him. Chances are, if this has been going on for two years, you may already have the disease, which will ultimatly put you in the same position that he was in with you. Good luck.