I just found out that I have Herpes and I'm freaking out!?!
Question: My husband and I have been married for 17 years and haven't had a monogomous relationship (we've shared sexual partners). I just found out that I have Herpes; apparently both types; through a blood test. I've scheduled an appointment for my husband to be tested. I've heard that either one of us could have had the virus for a very long time without knowing it. Is this true or did we more likely get it recently? My other question is this: Could I have had the virus and passed it on to any of my children without knowing it? I have a child who has disabilities and I wonder if having Herpes could have gone undetected and caused his disabilities. I assume that it would be a standard test for expectant mothers. One last note for anyone who is reading this: I have had many tests done for HIV and HEP-C. I assumed my doc tested for all STD's but I was wrong. They only tested for the two specifically. If you are being tested, be specific! Don't assume that they are testing for everything.
Answers: My husband and I have been married for 17 years and haven't had a monogomous relationship (we've shared sexual partners). I just found out that I have Herpes; apparently both types; through a blood test. I've scheduled an appointment for my husband to be tested. I've heard that either one of us could have had the virus for a very long time without knowing it. Is this true or did we more likely get it recently? My other question is this: Could I have had the virus and passed it on to any of my children without knowing it? I have a child who has disabilities and I wonder if having Herpes could have gone undetected and caused his disabilities. I assume that it would be a standard test for expectant mothers. One last note for anyone who is reading this: I have had many tests done for HIV and HEP-C. I assumed my doc tested for all STD's but I was wrong. They only tested for the two specifically. If you are being tested, be specific! Don't assume that they are testing for everything.
The majority of people with herpes do not realise - up to 90% do not know they are infected.
As to whether you caught it recently, if you have tested positive by blood test that would usually mean you have had the infection for at least 3-6 months.
I am sure the reason they don't offer the blood test as standard is becasue a huge proportion of the population would completely freak out when they found out they were all infected with herpes. Herpes is so common. Over 95% of us have one type or the other by middle age - it is more normal than not.
Since it is unusual to have both types in one body location, and type 1 usually causes cold sores and 80% of the adult population is infected with it, then it is very likely that your type 1 (hsv-1) infection is oral. Most people catch this as children - it has nothing to do with your sexual practices. It can be caught as a baby from an affectionate kiss. By age 50, 95% of the human population has hsv-1 on their mouths so it really isn't anything to worry about.
As for the type 2 - hsv-2 - that is probably a genital infection. It may be that you both have it, it may be just you - women are slightly more likely to catch it than men. Don't think you are alone either - 1 in 4 women over 18, and 1 in 3 by middle age, are infected with hsv-2 so it isn't actually uncommon. And it is usually asymptomatic like yours, especially if you already have oral herpes type 1 since this can reduce the effect of the initial infectionn with type 2. Herpes isn't an awful infection to have - hsv-1 is the casue of the common cold sore on the mouth, and is usually seen as nothing but a bit of a nuisance. Genital herpes absolutely no different - it is a bit of a nuisance, but doesn't do you any harm - but people fear it and reactt negatively to it because of the stigma that an untreatable sexual infection holds. As you have discovered, hepres is usually mild and undiagnosed.
As for your worries about your child, that is just your own worries speaking. 1 in 4 women giving birth have genital herpes, and yet most babies are fine. Neonatal herpes can be a serious infection and I would consider it extremely unlikely that it would go undiagnosed. Neonatal herpes is also extremely rare, and usually only happens if a woman catches genital herpes during the last months of the pregnancy, and is experiencing an outbreak at the time of birth. The only way the baby can catch herpes is by passing down the birth canal, and in a UK study all of the cases happened in women who caught herpes during the last weeks of pregnancy - there were no cases in women infected prior to becoming pregnant, since the maternal antibodies should protect the child. It is highly, highly unlikely you would transmit it to the child in any way. My sister, for example, caught herpes the year before she got pregnant with her first child, and she has given birth vaginally to three healthy babies since. I don't think it is something that you need to be concerned about. If you were to get your children tested and they tested positive for hsv-1, just remember this would be a mouth infection caught through a kiss, herpes is not a irus that is passed in the blood, only from skin contact, and just as likely to be from someone else as from you.
Don't worry about it so much. People judge people who have herpes, but like I said a very large number of people have it and you can just as easily catch it from your first boyfriend, although multiple partners slightly increases the risk. I caught it from the first man who ever touched me.
I would be very quick to assume that it was the result of you and your husband's poor decision to be polygamous.
I certainly hope your mistake will not affect your child.
Have your husband tested, and try not to infect the rest of the world.
It is true that you could have had it for a long time, but more likely for him than you. It is quite common for men not to show symptoms, but not that common for women. Depending on the strength of the immune system, usually women will have a moderate to severe episode a week to a few weeks after first contracting the virus which could include fever, flu-like symptoms, and of course, but not always, the sores. This is of course not always true. Manifestations of the herpes virus vary greatly, and it usually depends on your health in general. Especially, as I said, the status of your immune system. It is impossible to tell exactly when you got it so I'd quit wasting your energy on that. The point is, you have it and that really sucks but negativity on your part is only going to further compromise your immune system.
You certainly could have passed it on to your children, but this is also uncommon. Especially if they were delivered by cesarean, it is unlikely. Usually when a mother passes it to her children, it is during vaginal delivery, when she's having an outbreak, and the child ends up with sores on their body wherever it came into contact with the sores. I would assume that obstetricians test pregnant women for s.t.d.s, but I'm not a doctor and I've never been pregnant, so I don't know. All of this info that I have is from research I did for a friend of mine who suffered greatly due to her herpes. She was very sick (she had an eating disorder so she didn't take good care of her body and her immune system was in shambles) and her doctor seemed like a competent physician. Yet, even though my friend was pregnant, this doc failed to test her for herpes!! So I guess you're not alone there. My friend only found out she had it because her regular doc was out of town & another doc had the brain power to figure that, hey, maybe this girl's raging nasty sores and sickness is due to something she caught from this loser who got her pregnant. You can easily find out if your children have it, just get them tested. I would suspect the herpes in the disabled child, but I don't think that this is a common occurence.
I hope this was worth your sexual thrills.
Yes, it is very common to have H and not know about it or have any symptoms for years.
No, I do not think your child's disabilities have anything to do with H... Like the lady posted before me, when you pass H to your child it causes sores on their body (which are herpes sores) I've read that herpes DNA can move up the brain steam (or something of the sort) and cause mental problems in children and older (60+) people but it is very very uncommon. If that was the case with your child I'm sure it would have already been detected.
hope that helps.
Oh, Rob, your assumptions are not helpful...why don't you save them for "closed minded" people in pricks-r-us... she's most likely having a hard enough time with the news of having H. She is searching for help, not judgment about her life style.
1in 4 women have herpes and 1 in 3 men have it. It happens to the best of us despite the type of life you live!!!
it could have been sharring sexual partners without knowing their std status. it is also possable to have the virus without even knowing it the same goes for your shared partners.
it depends if u had herpes at the time of your pregnancy then there is a chance that herpes could have been passed to them, but i hope not so get everybody tested
if u thing u contracted it recently then usually for the first outbreak it takes 2-20 days to present symptoms and it will be the worst. thats the worst part, u don't know for how long or from whom u could have contracted herpes and it could be difficult to find out.
not all stds are included in an std test unless u have to ask for any stds to be incuded and it could be expensive but its better to get them done so u know if u have anything that can be passed on. use protection with any other sexual partners in the future.
try not to freak out too much stress only causes outbreaks.
hope everything else is in the clear and wish you all good health .