How do I help my boyfriend cope with lupus?!
Question: Anyone have any suggestions to what I can do to make him feel more comfortable?
Answers: Anyone have any suggestions to what I can do to make him feel more comfortable?
Remember he is the same person he was before the diagnosis. He is not his disease.
Make sure that lupus is not the center of all your conversations together. You might go so far as to declare "lupus talk free" days or parts of days.
If he wants to do things himself, let him. He knows best what he can and cannot do.
Realize that neither of you can "fix" his lupus.
Don't give unsolicited medical or other advice. "You should rest more...you should get some fresh air...I told you not to do that...eat more vegetables...eat more meat...etc, etc. etc."
He has lupus. He is not made of bone china. Encourage him to live his life as fully as possible within the reasonable limitations that accomodate the lupus.
Realize that he may have to cancel plans from time to time. Don't make him feel guilty about that. He will already feel bad enough.
Set aside some uninterrupted time to talk honestly about lupus and its place in your relationship.
Learn all you can about lupus. The link below is a good start.
Pay attention to him when you ask him what you can do for him.
Be that loving partner that he needs.
If you love him, you'll know exactly when and how to be there for him.
Thats all.
Good luck and I hope he feels better....