My grandad refuses to eat or drink - any ideas?!


Question: My grandad is very ill with cancer, he has less than a month left now. He's back on morphine, and it's reacting bad this time and making him feel very ill. He refuses to eat, but more worryingly has barely drunk in about 5 days. We've tried everything we can think of, lots of different drinks, foods that are like drinks etc..

He's going to the hospice tomorrow for a day trip thing that he goes on (he thinks it's physiotherapy - bless him) where a doctor will check him over and admit him to hospital if necessary, but he's still a few days off being dangerous dehydrated and we'd prefer him to drink and avoid a hospital stay, as being dehydrated will speed up he inevitable.

Has anybody got any ideas what we can do to make him drink? He's eaten a couple of tiny meals (about 12 chips and an egg yesterday), but we just can't get him to drink.

I should mention - he doesn't know about how long he has left (his own choice), so anything that involves emphasising that won't be suitable.


Answers: My grandad is very ill with cancer, he has less than a month left now. He's back on morphine, and it's reacting bad this time and making him feel very ill. He refuses to eat, but more worryingly has barely drunk in about 5 days. We've tried everything we can think of, lots of different drinks, foods that are like drinks etc..

He's going to the hospice tomorrow for a day trip thing that he goes on (he thinks it's physiotherapy - bless him) where a doctor will check him over and admit him to hospital if necessary, but he's still a few days off being dangerous dehydrated and we'd prefer him to drink and avoid a hospital stay, as being dehydrated will speed up he inevitable.

Has anybody got any ideas what we can do to make him drink? He's eaten a couple of tiny meals (about 12 chips and an egg yesterday), but we just can't get him to drink.

I should mention - he doesn't know about how long he has left (his own choice), so anything that involves emphasising that won't be suitable.

Try beverages he does like, will he eat ice cream, popsicles, pedialyte, gatorade, milkshakes, ensure (old people vitamin drink) Jello, even though its a solid it still counts as liquids, I would call Hospice or his Dr. he needs medical attention NOW! Its been to long and if you want to keep him comfortable then they can help you...... I am sorry for you both, I have been there with both my parents, its hard for everyone..... GOD BLESS.

i don't know y but i'm very sorry

He could always get an IV. I'm sure that they will give him one at the hospital when he goes because he will probably be very dehydrated. If he doesn't like needles, you can tell him that if he doesn't drink he will definitely be getting one.

Ask him what his favorite drink is and then get it for him. Hopefully not something that dehydrates though.

Good luck

Get him to smoke some marijuana. There is a smokeless box that will make it easier on his lungs. The marijuana will increase his appetite, reduce his nausea and make him drink.

I don't care about whether you think marijuana is bad or not. In this case, it will help him a lot. My great grandpa never smoked a day in his life. Never drank alcohol, never even took an aspirin.... then he got terminal prostate cancer. The marijuana was the only thing that made him feel ok. They morphine, etc stopped working for him and it hurt his stomach and made him more sick.

i hate to say it but...

stopping eating and drinking is how alot of people "give up"

my great grandmother stopped eating and that really what took her.

just spend as much time with him as posible.

ill be praying for you.

If he's lucid, then tell him he will need another IV if he doesn't drink anything. The doctors will make this decision if he does not start eating soon. Even if he is terminal, the doctors will see to it that he is hydrated and comfortable.

I know this is hard, and I feel for you so much. We went through this two years ago. I don't want to sound like I'm predicting doom and gloom, but when someone is in that situation...their bodies start to shut down at some point. Eating and drinking becomes of no interest. There's nothing you can do to make him eat or drink. It isn't a decision he's made...it's his body's decision. Once he hasn't eaten for so long, it will actually do more damage to try to feed him. Re-starting his digestive system will take more energy than he's got.

If for example, you get him to eat and his systems have begun to shut down, you may get it into his stomach, but if his liver and kidneys aren't working...and his intestines have stopped digesting...it will only make him feel worse. I'm so sorry you're all going through this. He can be given an IV (Even at home, through hospice) to keep him hydrated but I doubt you'll be able to get any real amount of food into him. God Bless.

I am sorry to hear of this awful illness affecting your grandad. Sadly, you can't really force him to eat or drink, but you can make him more comfortable. Wet his lips with a clean, wet sponge if he won't drink. I know it isn't much help, but it will make him just a little more comfortable. It is unfortunate that with all the things doctors can do, they can't stop the inevitable.

xxx

If he can't drink then break up some ice cubes and maybe he won't mind sucking on them. Have you offered different kinds of drink (tea, juice, etc.)? The less fluid he takes the worse he will feel. Try the ice thing, I bet that will work.

Or try popsicles or fruit sherbet, italian ice, broth, anything that's mostly water.

Is he having pain or difficulty swallowing? Perhaps nibbling an ice lolly would get him started. Or maybe you could appeal to him with a Guinness or a whisky, if he's allowed? They say a little of what you fancy does you good.
Are you sure he doesn't know he's on a short timescale? It sounds as though he may know and is trying to speed things up.
Best of luck and all good wishes.

He sounds like he is just ready to go home ! Ask him if he thinks deliberetly dieing is what Jesus would want ? Eat, drink and when it is time the lord will come and escort him !!!

If he is refusing, dont force him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had great prognosis, new I wasnt going to die, atleast not from my cancer, there were some times where I was very close to death from the treatment.

However, it doesnt matter if he doesnt know how long, he knows. Sounds like he is READY. DONT force him to do anything. If he wants to not eat or drink, that is HIS CHOICE. In fact, it is possible he is TRYING to dehydrate himself to PURPOSFULLY speed up the ineveitable.

Chances are, though he may not know the official estimate from the doc, he knows its close. Let him do whatever he wants to do/




EDIT: after my response, and I sent an email to this effect, It struck me that you may not realize, NO one can force him to be in the hospital. If he gets admitted when he goes in for his hospice thing, he can sign out ama, and be back at home within the hour, if thats what he wants.

Given his end stage, I doubt anyone will give him too hard of a time. But even if they do, it doesnt matter, he has that right.

There is a chance insurance wont pay for the couple hours he was admitted, but I think that med bill would be worth having him home if thats what you want

I agree with midnightmoon62. Your grandad doesn't want to drink. He will not be comfortable if he drinks. That is why he is refusing. You could give him ice chips, or a cool washcloth on his lips or to suck on. They also can't force him to go into a hospital if he doesn't want that. As family, be his advocate and tell them no, that your grandad doesn't want that. Hospice should have ideas in dealing with pain he may be experiencing. I know this is tough. I have had family members in this situation. They made it very clear that they did not want to die in a hospital. We abided with their wishes.

sorry to hear about yr grandad my dad died 6 yrs ago xmas, he had been suffering for about 6 weeks, the last week was the worst and he stopped eating and drinking. i found it quite a shock that the hospice didnt feed/hydrate patients if they couldnt or didnt want to eat/drink but can see that its only prolonging the inevitable. morphine makes u feel sick so this could be part of it. it is important that he drinks water so u could try persuading him just to have a sip every so often. my sister in law died of cancer last week and she was the same at the end. my thoughts are with u at this sad time.

the day at the hospice is the best place for him, I would let them know he is drinking very little, they will notice them self
a hospice is different to a hospital the staff look after the patient and support the family, have a look here people will help you
http://www.prostate-cancer.org.uk/forums...





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