Beloved golden retriever of 10 yrs has bone cancer. What do I tell my boys?!
Question: It's a terrible thing, and I wish it upon no one. Poor Sunny (our golden) is feeling more and more pain in her limb. The x-ray shows she has bone cancer. We'll likely have to put her down in the next week or two. Hard to think about it without getting choked up, and I don't typically get emotional. When that day comes, when we have to put her to rest -- what do I tell my boys? They are 4 and 6. I don't know if I should tell them everything, or nothing. They don't know what it's like to not have Sunny in the house. They'll want to know what has happened.
Answers: It's a terrible thing, and I wish it upon no one. Poor Sunny (our golden) is feeling more and more pain in her limb. The x-ray shows she has bone cancer. We'll likely have to put her down in the next week or two. Hard to think about it without getting choked up, and I don't typically get emotional. When that day comes, when we have to put her to rest -- what do I tell my boys? They are 4 and 6. I don't know if I should tell them everything, or nothing. They don't know what it's like to not have Sunny in the house. They'll want to know what has happened.
Oh goodness, I'm so sorry. I know how hard this is; I was probably 6 or 7 when my family had to put our black lab down for cancer also. It was very sad.
I would say that you should try to explain to them that poor Sunny isn't feeling good anymore, and that she's very sick. Tell them that you all want her to be happy and to feel better, and that the best way to do this is to let her go be put to sleep. Make sure you drive home the point that this isn't a cop-out. When it happened to me as a kid my dad was kind of calloused about the whole situation, and it made me think that there could have been something else done to save her, which in reality was obviously not the case.
Tell them that you're going to make Sunny's last days the very best you all can, and that once she's in heaven she won't be in pain anymore. If you can, kind of make it sound like a good thing. Ask them what they think about it, and let them weigh in on it, as if they have something to add as far as ideas or what have you. Lead the discussion in such a way that it kind of goes through all the possibilities, and leaves putting her down as the best way to go.
I would definitely explain it to them, though, until they understand/accept it. Otherwise they might blame you if they come home and all the sudden Sunny's not there anymore. They could feel robbed of the chance to say their last goodbyes, and also feel left out of making a family decision. Also, give them a chance to grieve, just like you have had to. Don't let them get depressed for too long, but let it be a big deal, because it really is a big deal.
Once Sunny has gone on (or even before if you think the timing is right), ask your kids if they want to wait a little bit to get another dog, or if they want to get another one right away.
This is so sad, I'm so sorry. Best wishes to you.
You can't hide it from them and as painful as it is this is a good opportunity to introduce them to death. I would be telling them that she has a very bad sickness and she will be going to heaven - give them a chance to say good bye and to grieve. Kids are really resilient - it will hurt you more than it hurts them. I am sorry for what you will all have to go through.
I went through this with my precious dog Cuddles, she was 9, kidney failure. It was awful. I missed her for months, my 4 girls cried. I cried, I still do. Tell them the truth, it life, a hard lesson, but in the long run it better, they will become more sympathetic with others in the same situation. We did get a new puppy 2 weeks later, it helped in a way, but maybe it was a little to soon, they compared that puppy to Cuddles. But, now our new dog, Sadie is just as close as Cuddles was. It's just going to be rough for a while, I made a picture book of Cuddles and we still have it out. We did bring her home and buried her and made a grave marker and I planted a snowball bush over her. When it blooms, it her still bringing something pretty. Best to you in this difficult time.
kill you
I am sorry to hear about your dog. One of my family members had a dog that was sick and had to be put to sleep and we told him that the dog was sick and was going to heaven. He accepted that and always mentioned for years that his dog was in heaven.
That the dog is very sick, that he's in constant pain, that there is no medecine to make him better. And that with pets (not grandma) they use special drugs to gently make the dog go to sleep and die.
4 and 6 is young, but I understood when Nanny (my grandmother) died when I was 5.