If I've passed a STD on to my partner of four years, should I now be obligat!
Question: I am feeling as though I am no longer in love with my partner. He drinks, he smokes, and he's having a hard-time securing stable employment. I told him from day one that I didn't want a man who drinks and smokes, and he said he would let it all go... however, four years later, we're still dealing with the same issues. I feel as though I am fed up, and possibly have fallen out of love with him. But, I feel bad for leaving him after giving him a sexually transmitted disease (herpes). I didn't cheat on him... Unfortunately, I contracted it the first time I had sex 13 years ago. It's a burden I have to live with forever, and I certainly never wanted to pass it on to anyone else.
Answers: I am feeling as though I am no longer in love with my partner. He drinks, he smokes, and he's having a hard-time securing stable employment. I told him from day one that I didn't want a man who drinks and smokes, and he said he would let it all go... however, four years later, we're still dealing with the same issues. I feel as though I am fed up, and possibly have fallen out of love with him. But, I feel bad for leaving him after giving him a sexually transmitted disease (herpes). I didn't cheat on him... Unfortunately, I contracted it the first time I had sex 13 years ago. It's a burden I have to live with forever, and I certainly never wanted to pass it on to anyone else.
No, you are not obligated to be with anyone who doesn't make you happy. Move on if you feel you need to and just be very careful and honest with any future partners.
Alot of people in your situation would stay with someone they don't love because they believe no one else will ever give them a chance in a relationship. Don't do this! You can find someone who loves you for you and will educate himself on how to prevent his contracting herpes as well.
no, you're not obligated to stay with him, it sounds like herpes in the least of his problems, and as long as you were honest with him about your condition and made a good faith effort to protect him, he knew the risks inherent in being with you. and eave if you were not, it was a shitty thing to do, but you don't owe him the rest of your life, you don't owe anyone that.
and doesn't he deserve some one who actualy likes him?
so you gave the dude herpes and now you want to leave him?
yeah thats pretty effed up of you. what are you going to do now? go be with someone else and give it to them too?
its sad that that happened and you say you didnt mean to which i believe. but how would you feel if it was the other way around? if he gave you an uncureable std and then suddenly decided he didnt want to be with you anymore. that would suck wouldnt it?
give the guy a break. maybe he drinks so much b/c he is depressed that he has to spend the rest of his life with this disease. i say you are lucky that hey stayed with you in the first place. i think i would kill my man if he did that to me. i think you should suck it up and stay...
If you knowingly infected with him herpes and he wasn't aware prior to having sex with you, well then, that's a criminal offence.
I hope you get your karma.
You're under no obligation to stay in a relationship that makes you unhappy.
In the future, never use herpes as an excuse and never let it prevent you from doing anything. If you do, then you don't have herpes; herpes has you.
Ok so your not in love with him and he doesn't make you happy. But that was so messed up that you would give him a herpes. yes you have to live with the fact that you ruined someones life.
If you knew you had it to begin with, then why didn't you use a condom or at least tell him in the beginning what he was getting himself into?
In my opinion, I think you are obligated to stay with him because that's just not right. Just because he drinks and smokes and has a hard time finding / or keeping employment doesn't give you the right to just up and leave.
I say stay. You have invested four years into this man!! Can't you try to mold him into a better person. Why don't you help him stop by supporting him. Take him to go get him and be with him every step of the way. If you give up on him...things may get worse for him!!!!