How do you tell someone you love that you have HIV?!


Question: I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years. I just found out that I was HIV+ and was infected 11 years ago =( I am afraid to tell him but KNOW I have to! He is the only person I want to be with and love him very much. How is the best way?? I think he knows I am but has not said anything. I just don't want to lose him... thanks


Answers: I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years. I just found out that I was HIV+ and was infected 11 years ago =( I am afraid to tell him but KNOW I have to! He is the only person I want to be with and love him very much. How is the best way?? I think he knows I am but has not said anything. I just don't want to lose him... thanks

How do you know you were infected 11 years ago?

I have been in the same situation. I have been HIV+ since 2003. Before my now-husband and I started dating, I told him flat out that I had an illness, a serious illness. He guessed it was HIV and took it extremely well. Long story short, we have been married for 3 years and we also have a beautiful daughter (they are both negative).

You have been with your boyfriend for 8 years and I'm sure he is madly in love with you and will accept you plus your status. I don't think you should beat around the bush - tell him.

I'm sorry to say it but if he is really worth it, he will accept it because you're still the same person. You need to look after his health and make sure you use protection when you have sex.

All the best.

Just tell him. If my lady tell me that she has HIV , it would NOT diminish my love for her.

You need to be honest for the sake of the relationship and his health. If your relationship is solid etc. he will be understanding.

You be honest and open with him. That is really the only way. Tell him how scared you are to lose him, that you really care about him and know that this changes things. Give him time to work through his feelings and come to terms with what you are telling him. This is not a small thing, especially as it will affect both of your lives. Being together 8 years, he will probably be supportive and want to help you through the emotional aspects that come along with this. But you have to give him the opportunity to come to terms with it himself. He should get tested as well, and possibly already has. Just pick a time when conversations tend to be easy (such as over breakfast or in bed) and tell him it honestly.

If your boyfriend truly loves you, he will understand.
Taking his health in consideration, one thing for sure is that you must let him know about your condition.

This is a tough situation. How do you know that you were infected 11 years ago? You just have to pick what you think is the best time. If there's a possibility that he knows, you're ahead of the game.

I don't think it's while you're bed because of course, the first thing he's going to think about is his risk factors-sex is one. It's possible that he's been infected now and if he has had no other risk factors, it's going to be tougher to deal with.

I would imagine that sitting down with him, letting him know you need to have an important conversation and alone, as long as you don't think there's no possibility of violence. I hope it goes well.

Are you a man? If so, there are plenty of precautions that can be taken to keep him safe - if he's still negative & that's very well-known. Unless he's ignorant, he'll stay with you...If he IS ignorant, you'll need to educate him.....

If you're a woman - it's highly unlikely he'll catch it from you, but you'll also need to take some precautions as well

**EDIT** I'm agreeing with the others who want to know how you know it was 11 years ago....are you guessing at who gave it to you? or did you already know & didn't inform your partner for the past 8 years??? hhhmmm - that might be unforgivable?!***I have HSV which is not curable - but won't kill you and I think it would be unforgivable to know it & not tell my partner for years like that

I would say tell him right away because if you hold it back long enough he may question it later on and hate your dishonesty

i have hpv and am dealing with the drama it brings but i told my bf right away the day i found out the skin tags werent no skin tags but i got it from him

yes i was hurt and sad and hated him but i loved the damm fool and we got through it, yes i forgave him and we are taking one day at a time

it is really hard but just let him know ahead of time you have something really impt to tell him and it should take off half the weigh of your shoulders

if he is negative, there is a 50% chance he may not want to be with you anymore but if he can look past it that would be great because no one wants anything they didnt sign up for and you have to understand that

i think that they is not easy way to tell the person. You just have to come out and say it and try not to look at the negativity of it but the positive side of it.





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