My best friend is 28 years old and is scared of having a cancer recurrence?!
Question: When my friend was 26 years old she was diagnosed with breast cancer and two years later she is worrying herself like crazy worrying about whether she will have a recurrence. Although I have not had cancer before, I can certainly understand her being afraid, but I told her that she has to think positive and try not to worry so much about it and that she can't allow cancer to take over her life. I tell her to enjoy her life and not to keep worrying over something that she has no control over. I told her as long as she constantly keeps thinking about it everyday she's just giving it a chance to come back. She is basically torturing herself. Would you all agree?
Answers: When my friend was 26 years old she was diagnosed with breast cancer and two years later she is worrying herself like crazy worrying about whether she will have a recurrence. Although I have not had cancer before, I can certainly understand her being afraid, but I told her that she has to think positive and try not to worry so much about it and that she can't allow cancer to take over her life. I tell her to enjoy her life and not to keep worrying over something that she has no control over. I told her as long as she constantly keeps thinking about it everyday she's just giving it a chance to come back. She is basically torturing herself. Would you all agree?
Uhm I do, but I don't. If your friend was only 28 at the time of her diagnosis, that suggests a strong genetic predisposition & she is probably aware that she has a very high risk of having a recurrence. It's never good to let fear control you but her fears are pretty reasonable. Most women with breast cancer are at or around the age of menopause when they are diagnosed and the majority of them have risk factors other than their genetics. I think that telling her she's giving it a chance to come back is a little appauling given the fact that her risk for recurrence is increased 5-10 TIMES not percent. Her fears are real. If you really want to help her I think you should educate yourself a little more about the genes and receptor types that are involved in breast cancer (BRCA-1, BRCA-2, p-53, HER-2, neu, etc.) & once you really come to understand what your friend is up against then maybe you could better help her. It not like she smoked for 40 years or would have been on estrogen replacement for menopause, those things can be changed. As young as she is it is more than likely it is her genes and she can't change that anymore than she could her eye color. I think you should switch your focus from convincing her she doesn't have to worry and maybe just listen to her & be there for her when she needs to tell you about how worried she is or cry about it or whatever she needs to do. If you can't do that then maybe try to find her a support group of women who have survived breast cancer or going through treatment that are her age. I've met women as young as 24 years old who have already had double mastectomies and lost their hair. Imagine being that young and having to give up that part of yourself. It sounds like your friend could really just use your support, not your advice.
Julia,
I couldn't agree with you more as you are absolutely correct. The most important thing is that she continues to make her mammography appointments to prevent any further illness. She's just afraid of having to go through the whole process again (chemo, surgery, etc.). Your friend is going to be alright as the cancer will not reappear. She needs to move on and concentrate on positive things of value; such as, family and friends. Julia, you're such a wonderful friend, God bless you!