Is my cousin a MORON? Are her Dr.'s not helping her???!
Question: I have a cousin that has Lupus. She will be 33 in May. She has 4 children at this point. Ages 17, 11, 3 & 1. She is currently pregnant with her 5th child. Her Lupus is VERY bad. She has kidney stones. Right now the Dr.s have a tube going from her kidney out thru her back and into a bag. Normally she doesn't have any problems with her lupus, however, being pregnant causes these problems. She has been in and out of the hospital more times than I can count. He lungs have collapsed, she had a shunt for the kidney stones. All of these problems that can eventually cause her death... My question is, at what point will the Dr.'s step in and tell her that having this baby is a BAD idea. She can't even take care of the kids that she has. She gave the 17 year old to his father to be raised and from the time the 11 year old was 2 until she was 6 I had her, while I was in school. The young boys... Don't even get me started. Now this one... if she survives.. Is it not the Dr's JOB to do something?
Answers: I have a cousin that has Lupus. She will be 33 in May. She has 4 children at this point. Ages 17, 11, 3 & 1. She is currently pregnant with her 5th child. Her Lupus is VERY bad. She has kidney stones. Right now the Dr.s have a tube going from her kidney out thru her back and into a bag. Normally she doesn't have any problems with her lupus, however, being pregnant causes these problems. She has been in and out of the hospital more times than I can count. He lungs have collapsed, she had a shunt for the kidney stones. All of these problems that can eventually cause her death... My question is, at what point will the Dr.'s step in and tell her that having this baby is a BAD idea. She can't even take care of the kids that she has. She gave the 17 year old to his father to be raised and from the time the 11 year old was 2 until she was 6 I had her, while I was in school. The young boys... Don't even get me started. Now this one... if she survives.. Is it not the Dr's JOB to do something?
Yes, it is irresponsible of her doctors not to advise against having further children. Her home situation and caring for her children is not their concern, but if the pregnancy is causing her lupus to flare and endangering her health, then it is very much their prerogative to step in and warn her in the strongest terms that she is putting herself and her child at risk.
That said, no doctor can *make* her stop having children if she chooses to go against their advice. Are you certain that they have not spoken to her about this, and she's not just ignoring their warnings?
I'm actually shocked that she wouldn't have figured this out herself. I'm 34 weeks pregnant, and can't imagine facing pregnancy and childbirth while also in the throes of a lupus flare with multiple organs failing. And since she's on number 5, she obviously knows what she's getting into. Does she lack education about birth control, or have some moral reason to object to it? If not, then perhaps she has some psychological issues that are causing her to feel the need to keep giving birth. Understandably, many patients with chronic illness can become very depressed, and maybe having children satisfies some need she feels for fulfillment or companionship.
I would suggest that she start seeing a different doctor, and also have a psychiatric evaluation.
The doctor's can tell her it's bad for her health, but it is still her choice. Only if she has someone else with power of attorney over her health can they make decisions for her.
YES i agree that is horrible, i have been raised by my grandparents and its not the same, this is horrible the doctors should have told her a while back... have u tried talking to her?
It is the doctor's job to help her, but it is not the doctor's job to force her. Her doctors should make sure that she understands the risks and consequences of her decisions, but, once she is informed, she has the right to decide what she wants to. I am very sorry to hear about her inability to care for her children--perhaps adoption is an option if everything goes well.