What are some things you could say to a person with slow-acting cancer?!
Question: I know someone with Lymphoma who may live 5 years or 20 years (probably closer to the latter considering good health), but this person seems down in the dumps all the time about it and gets angry if someone says "look at the bright side" or similar. What are some ways to speak to this person without offending?
Answers: I know someone with Lymphoma who may live 5 years or 20 years (probably closer to the latter considering good health), but this person seems down in the dumps all the time about it and gets angry if someone says "look at the bright side" or similar. What are some ways to speak to this person without offending?
People with low grade lymphomas often get depressed because they know their cancer is incurable and often they feel like it is "only a matter of time before the cancer gets me". A better way to look at things is that you have "a cancer that you live with rather than die from".
You didn't say how long ago this person was first diagnosed. If the initial diagnosis was in the last two years then it is quite possible that they just have not yet gotten used to living with their cancer. If they bring up the issue of cancer (and only if they do) then they need to be reminded that low grade lymphomas are very different than having lung cancer or metastatic melanoma or advanced breast cancer. They need to always appreciate the good things, the little things, that they have now, because I guarantee you everything can always be worse - in a heartbeat.
Just talk to that person as you normally would. Don't comfort them unless they really need it, because if you draw attention to the cancer, that will be all they think about. If they are bored or depressed, go out and do something fun. I hope I've helped.
I completely agree. Don't dwell on it and neither should they. Do everyday simple things. Ask the person what they would like to do that they've never done before.
I have recurrent cancer. I have a list of things to do before I die and I'm working on that list. I'm optimistic and don't dwell on it.
Talk about everything else that's going on. Current events, the weather, anything that will take their focus off themselves.
Good luck.
Instead of saying anything join them in a cancer walk or fundraiser.