How to cope with a family memeber who has end stage cancer?!
Question: My dad had stage 4 non Hodgkin's lymphoma and it was the toughest three weeks of our life...he knew he hadn't got long left as we were all staying at the hospital with him, he was a truly brave man and didn't like crying and fuss...so we didn't we were laughing and joking with him ..but we all let go when he passed away..just glad we held on for him to leave us in peace ..
Answers: My dad had stage 4 non Hodgkin's lymphoma and it was the toughest three weeks of our life...he knew he hadn't got long left as we were all staying at the hospital with him, he was a truly brave man and didn't like crying and fuss...so we didn't we were laughing and joking with him ..but we all let go when he passed away..just glad we held on for him to leave us in peace ..
Have as few regrets as possible. Sacrifice your time now, as much as you can. Sit with them, if it's someone real close you might even get in the bed with them if it is reasonable. Share memories, it's ok to laugh. Be aware of what makes them comfortable and go with that. Do they like you stroking their hair or hair area even if the hair is mostly gone? Rubbing or stroking their arms or hands? My mom liked me to put lipstick on her and she also liked me to read to her. Make yourself get out of your comfort zone. Maybe play music that they like or that is comforting, sing or hum, if you know they enjoyed this when they were well. Mostly just being there is the greatest gift to give now. Take care.
Its really hard-I know. I lost my mom 5 yrs ago to cancer.
The best thing is to spend time with them. Talk to them calmly and nicely, ask them if there is anything they need, massage their feet if they want, hug them, kiss them. (when you are in private/alone then you can cry, whatever) but try to be strong for now for them. You need support too-talk it out with other family members and friends, who will encourage you. Often the dying will tell you important things-listen carefully and remember what they tell you. It will help you later. My mom told me that: now you have to fight for what you want-it will be tough for a while but you can do it. Pray to God for strength...this living thing is not easy --one day at a time. You will also find comfort in doing boring, daily chores--this will strangely give you a sense of things being sort of normal, even if right now it feels like everything is falling apart. This too shall pass-hang in there & God bless.
AIs the person dying a tru believer in Jesus and has put his or her trust in Jesus? If so and that person has forgiven others and repented of his or her sins, and has a personal relationship with Jesus and the Father then rest assured he or she will be in Heaven with Jesus and the Father. And if you are a believer also and have faith and love the Lord with everything you have and you too have repented and forgivnen you will see this person one day so do not worry if this person is in Christ Jesus rest assured you will cope knowing this person is with the Lord.
By constant hope, reassurance, and acceptance of the TRUTH.
With care, love and dignity.
I think it is normal to feel overwhelmed with the news and hurt from this. The more you let yourself think about it, the more you come to terms with it. It doesn't hurt as bad as it did in the beginning. Get family together. Be open with the kids. They can sense what is going on. If you lie to them, it causes really big problems even down the road. It would help if everybody supported each other. If they don't, go to a grief support group.