My boyfriend refuses to take an AIDS test?!
Question: I am engaged to this lovely African man and we are planning to get married. He is very traditional so we are saving ourselves for the wedding night. However, he got very angry when I suggested he gets tested for HIV and says that his tribe has a secret way of ensuring that they never get infected, no matter how many women he has been with before. He wont go into details about this. Does anyone have a clue what this techique is? It would be a wonderful medical discovery if it were true.
Answers: I am engaged to this lovely African man and we are planning to get married. He is very traditional so we are saving ourselves for the wedding night. However, he got very angry when I suggested he gets tested for HIV and says that his tribe has a secret way of ensuring that they never get infected, no matter how many women he has been with before. He wont go into details about this. Does anyone have a clue what this techique is? It would be a wonderful medical discovery if it were true.
True voodoo methods are indeed effective in stopping the aid virus. I have made love in Africa using blue eurchette feathers and mongo beads before to cleanse the spirit and after to wipe away the disease. It is imperative to wash in urine and be blessed by a tribal witch doctor by means of cerebral tapping. Be sure your husband has secured a bongo band as well. Afterward, you should soak in the steaming waste field and allow the organisms in the liquid into your viginnis to work on the walls of your blatherus (uterus in America). The entire process adds to the erotic experiences of sex in the mother land.
Sounds a little too good to be true to me.
Eeek, I doubt it would be accurate.
<3
I am not sure where you are, so it's difficult to say. Most places require blood tests before issuing a marriage license, this includes HIV/AIDS testing. The only secret way to not get infected is not to have sex, share needles, have a blood transfusion. Be vary skeptical, your life depends on this. There have been several cases where infected people made claims they were not only to infect others. Many of them believed that once the other was infected, they would never leave them.
Considering the rampant rate of HIV/AIDS infection spread in every African nation, I doubt any tribe has figured out a magical method of prevention.
I suggest you tell him that you love him very much, but that even after marriage there will be no sex until he tests.
There are home tests now, which use saliva. You can find them at most drugstores.
(I work in Public Health, and preventing the spread of HIV is one of my interests. I have worked with African immigrants who believed that if a man had sex with a very young virgin (think 10 years old) it would cure or prevent the virus. )
run girlfriend
did you ever take it in consideration that mabe he is lieing and he just deosnt want to take the test because he is scared it comes back posative and he is afraid that if you know you will leave him because he knows that you don't want it or/her knows that you don't want to deel with a guy who deos hav it???
If they had a certian way of ensuring it.. Why does so many poor african countries(the traditional people) have a high aids rate.. (please dont take this the wrong way). I am just talking in contents here. africa in general has a high aids rate.
I think it would be better to take an aids test, and the only way is to get a blood sample tested by the doctor..
Good Luck
That is not possible. He may think that they have a way, but unless it is condoms or abstaining from all sexual contact, and his parents are both HIV negative.... that is not possible.
I would hold off getting married until you BOTH have HIV testing.. his refusal to get testing combined with his "trust my magical thinking" thing is a HUGE red flag.
I know you love him, but you have to protect yourself physically first and foremost. Tell him if no test, then no wedding and def. no wedding night if he is not willing to get tested for all std's ESPECIALLY HIV! It is just common sense and if he does not love you enough to make sure that he isn't carrying a deadly disease, then you need to RUN from this man... he loves his pride and ego more than he loves you.
p.s. some africans believe that if you have hiv and have sex with a virgin they will be cured. I would seriously find out if he feels that way as well. If he is willing to believe he has some magic way of not contracting it, he may believe he knows a magic way to get rid of it..... just a thought.. Good luck, and do NOT give in to his anger and drop the testing issue! Your life may very well depend upon it!
I WOULD MAKE HIM TAKE IT!!!! YOU CANNOT BE TOO CAREFUL, TELL HIM THAT YOU WON'T MARRY HIM UNLESS HE DOES!!!
Unless he used condoms every time with every partner there is a chance that he was infected. It sounds like you love him very much, and that he has some very strong cultural beliefs, but once you say " I do" if his thinking is so grounded in culture, I bet you are his and as his wife you will do what he wants. I'm not saying that is bad, but for your safety you BOTH need to be tested.
Are cultural beliefs worth becoming infected with a virus that will not go away?
I do HIV testing and counseling and I would tell you this is your decision, but it is in your best interest for both of you to test.
Sounds just a way of getting round things.If it were true, he would have mentioned it to you. Why should it be kept "secret" if it really was there?????
DON'T TRUST HIM. If he won't take a test, don't sleep with him. I don't care what he says, he could still be infected. DO NOT risk your life simply for that.
id tell him that you just wanted to ensure your health and tell him its nothing to get mad about if they can honestly prevent it then it shouldn't be a problem about getting the test( its very unlikely that he can but tell him that) tell him that you will postpone the marriage until he gets the test( because if he has it you will probably get it too, and in the end it causes death and if he still refuses then its up to you to decide risk dying of aids ...if he has it ....(it can be passed from mother to child, sex, blood contact, etc) or leave him and find someone who is willing to take the test once your ready ........ ) good luck and i hope that he gives in and gets the test done!!!!
ah naughty. hes telling lies. make him test or refuse to have sex with him. if he loves you he will.
tell your bf that you will not get that lip ring he wants you to have as well as gaining more weight for him (I read your previous posts) until he gets an HIV test.
True love is working together and cooperating, not just one person in total control. Which this is what is sounds like but I hope I am wrong. No woman should have to give in to a guy's demands at all if he is unwilling to respect her feelings/concerns.
If he is still stubborn and won't get the test, RUN and don't look back.
hmmm I have no clue but If i was you I would sit down and talk to him and tell him what you feel.
Shoronda, suggest that you both get tested. Then do.
If he refuses and you go ahead and marry him and he IS infected what happens to your children. It's not only your life that you put in danger, it's theirs also.
Sweetheart, think with your head this time, not your heart. If he refuses, do you really want to be married to someone that puts their ego (or fear) ahead of your life? I would question just how much he does love you then.
Red flags are everywhere here.