My father just died, what can I do?!
Question: Hello, I am using my fathers account to post this; I am his son (17 yr old). He was 44 years old and was diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer about 9 months ago. It's interesting really; i did not feel grieved about knowing he had this terrible disease. The only times I would break down is when I saw my father suffering, either from the effects of chemo, or the disease itself. Otherwise the cancer was off my mind. I visited him on his death bed a couple of hours ago, and he died shortly after I left (like I said, I couldn't bear to see my father in such a condition). My relatives are all currently filling out documents at the hospital and I am at home alone.
The problem is I don't know what I should be feeling. I can talk about it as if its nothing, unless I start picturing my dad in my head. Should I tell friends about this? Anyone else? Should i even go to school tomorrow? The situation feels so unreal and I don't know what to do.
Answers: Hello, I am using my fathers account to post this; I am his son (17 yr old). He was 44 years old and was diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer about 9 months ago. It's interesting really; i did not feel grieved about knowing he had this terrible disease. The only times I would break down is when I saw my father suffering, either from the effects of chemo, or the disease itself. Otherwise the cancer was off my mind. I visited him on his death bed a couple of hours ago, and he died shortly after I left (like I said, I couldn't bear to see my father in such a condition). My relatives are all currently filling out documents at the hospital and I am at home alone.
The problem is I don't know what I should be feeling. I can talk about it as if its nothing, unless I start picturing my dad in my head. Should I tell friends about this? Anyone else? Should i even go to school tomorrow? The situation feels so unreal and I don't know what to do.
Hey dude, first of all I'm sorry. My dad just passed away June 30th of last year and I am now 17 too. I know what you are going through so I can tell you through experience it's not easy and your feelings are very normal. You are still in a state of shock---you can't beleive it really happened. I really didn't and don't bring it up to anyone other than family and best friends. If your really up for going to school tomorrowjust go, I had the exact same question for whether I should do anything when it happened. My dad was only in his upper 40's too. If you wanna know anything else, contact me.
It will all come to you... but in your own time....
One day you will burst into tears... for no reason, and with no warning... something will just set you off.... Cry..... It is OK.....
I am so sorry...i know how you feel...kind of numb...dont stress about how your "supposed to feel" because you're your own person...i mean gosh idk what to say...
i am so sorry!
Im so sorry. my dad died 6 months ago, its hard there are no correct ways to feel. Do not go to school tommorrow, someone will set you off for sure even if its over something small and chances are you'll never forget it. This will feel unreal to you for along time. im so sorry! Just keep his memories in your heart and all you learned from him, take those lessons and let everyone you know be touched by them. Its the only way to keep his legacy alive. Make him proud!
I lost my father several months ago (sudden heart attack, so its slightly different for me), and although I had a few breakdowns here and there, I still find myself wondering how I should really feel. The best thing you can do is talk to anybody close to you whether its your mother, friend, or counsuler, which I know sounds really cliche. But often I find myself expressing emotions that needed to come out, instead of feeling withdrawn and bottled up. I am really sorry about your loss, and just know that there are a lot more people than you think feeling the same way you do right now.
As far as school goes, I don't know because my Dad died during the summer. If you don't feel comfortable enough, then I'm sure your teachers and peers will understand.
i would like to say i am very sorry and it usually helps to talk about things like this . but it is true ,one day you will go about nuts and cry your eyes out and it will be so hard. but talking does help. i have a father that is very very sick and i cry all the time . it does help. maybe you would feel better if you went to the hospital and ask to spend 5-10 min by you self with him. it may sound crazy but it will help . take my email address and write if you need someone. again i am so very sorry for your lose. i will keep you in my prayers god bless you and your family
The unrealness of this is very normal. Tell the people who are most important to you. Not feeling emotional happens to many people. It can hit you later though when everyone else gets on with their life. Also, how about being supportive of other family (is your mother in the picture?). Don't be surprised if it really hits you later. You might want to check into a grief support group then if you don't have others to talk to then.