How do you deal with pain of losing a mom from cancer?!


Question: She Had Breast Cancer Stomach cancer and ovary cancer. she fight for 6 years, she passed away on 2/9/08 will the pain every go away?


Answers: She Had Breast Cancer Stomach cancer and ovary cancer. she fight for 6 years, she passed away on 2/9/08 will the pain every go away?

First I am sorry your mom passed. I know this is probably one of the hardest things you will ever have to deal with. My mom had breast cancer, fought for 7 years. I thought everything was going to be fine and she told me the cancer spread to her brain. She passed away June 2007 and I will tell you while the pain subsides some, it will take time to heal from the loss. I am now 30 and it has been almost a year since she died and I still break down... I know it almost hurts to live..I felt robbed, betrayed and still do sometimes. Anyway, I can't tell you when you will no longer feel pain from your mothers passing, because I have not found that out yet myself. But I can tell you in time it does get easier. Another thing that might help is to write her, everything you are thinking and feeling put it on paper in a letter to her. It might sound silly, but I do this, it's a way to get things out and help you with the pain. Ever need to chat, feel free to email me.

It will always be sad, and you'll always feel the loss, but it will get easier to bear with time. You'll be able to remember the good, and be thankful for the time you had. It feels awful right now, as it should. Talk to someone who is a good listener about this and her. I'm sorry you're going thru this.

The answer is no. My mom passed away when I was 11 from lung cancer (she never smoked or anything) and it was awful on the whole family. You never really get over it, but it dulls over time. The only thing you can really do is find someone to talk with. Talk about the things you loved about her, talk about the things that drove you crazy. Just give it time, I am sure you can make it through this. It is one of the worst experiences a person can have, but don't let her go unremembered.

The pain never goes away, but they time heals. As the time goes on, it just gets easier to deal with. You will always love and miss your mom. I'm so sorry for your loss. You may want to talk with a grief counselor.

I would like to say bless your heart sweety and give you a BIG (((Hug)))! I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I've had only one memeber of my family pass away with cancer and it does eventually get easier as time passes. Please know that it is ok to griev. What helps the most is to always remember and think of the good times! Good luck to you in your future hun. (*(*(*(*HUGS*)*)*)*)

Time will heal the pain.

One of my good friends just lost his Mom to cancer around that same time. Ive literally known her all my life. Its hard, man. You just gotta go on with your life and try to forget about the pain.

I know how you feel man.. Ive lost a lot of friends and family to cancer. Just keep going and youll get through it.

Really sorry to hear about your loss. Your mom must have been very brave to have fought for so long.

I don't know whether the pain will ever go away but with time it won't be as intense as it is now. It might help to just focus on the positive side of the relationship you had with your mom, which sounds like you must have had a really strong/close bond with her.

Perhaps you could even consider seeing a grief counsellor?

Have provided some links that might help.

Good luck.

She will always live in your memory, and some day you will be reunited with her in heaven, just be strong now and live your life in a way that would make her proud and she will give you strength. Remember, we never really die, we just move on to a different reality.

I am so very sorry for your loss. the pain does get easier... but it takes awhile. The pain is so fresh for you. My husband died 2 years ago from cancer, and we had 2 young sons. Here's some things we did that helped:
Hospice is all over the country. They run groups for different ages. They have writing groups (which helps.. write a letter to your mom. tell her the favorite times you had with her) There are talking groups and you get to share things about your mom. My group brought in pictures of our loved one, we told how we met, it honored the person who died.. ask your doctor if they can tell you where your local hospice is, it is free. You can see a therapist. That helped my sons a lot. You don't say how old you are.. my boys are now 10 and 16.
Their therapists had them each make a memory book. Like a scrap book, with pictures, and you write little captions. That helped remember the good times.

One thing that really really helps, and I know it sounds silly, but even I do it.. get a helium balloon. Write a note or a few words (like I love you mom. I miss you., Happy Birthday, or "I got an 'A' in biology today!! you'd be so proud of me. Whatever strikes you. use a sharpee (or you can write on paper and attach to the string)we used black sharpees. then set the balloon free, to fly up to heaven to her.

It also helps to talk about her, when you are ready. never never hold it in, it makes it worse. oh yeah, throwing rocks into the water (a pond, lake, brook, the sea) helps a lot too, as does punching a pillow. Those are things the therapist had the boys do, it really helped them I think. Now, 2 years later we're all doing well, we remember him and speak of him often, I truly believe he is with us in spirit. He often guides me.. like if I can't find something that HE put away, or filed, I'll just ask him to guide me to where the item is.. it's worked around 8 times, almost immediately in some cases. Good luck in your journey to healing yourself, and again, I'm so sorry for your loss.

First, I am so so sorry for your loss. To answer your question: No, the pain never goes away and to me, it never lessens. It just gets easier to handle. You will always miss her and wish you had her here, but you will make it through this. As cliche as it sounds, you just have to take it one day at a time. Try finding a friend who will listen or a group to go to. But in my experience, you have to find some way to let it out. Holding it in made it worse for me.

((((((Hugs))))))) I am glad you can't see me crying as I answer this. I'm a 46yr old mom with 2 teen sons. We found my first brain tumor in 1993, my boys were toddlers. I did great for years after one rough year. In 2003 we found Multiple Myeloma (bone marrow) and now 2 more brain tumors. The drs have said there is nothing else they can do.

I have alway been honest with my boys. Too honest sometimes. We are far into the end of life planning and one son is moving to his dad's in 3 days to get away from the stress. Being prepared doesn't equate getting over, however and I know that. This has been an awful, long, terrible path, as I'm sure yours was with your mom. My heart aches for you.

I've lost a couple of family members to cancer, but the one I lost whom I was the closest to was my grandmother. She was one of my best friends. I lost her to suicide because she was in terrible pain. That was 13 years ago. I think of her every day. I have surrounded myself with items from her home: quilts she made, statuetes she loved, paperweights from her desk. The loss still aches in the corner of my heart, but I know that she acted in deep depression and has been welcomed into the Lord's presence. That brings a smile. Holding the things she held and made brings me peace. That is what I hope for my boys and that is what I will pray for you.

Find a few precious items, cherish the memories they bring no matter how inane to others and Love your Mother every day. It makes you stronger and a better person. Good Luck.





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