Is there a wrong way in asking a "spouse" if they may have a STD?!
Question: Me and my bf had separated for about 3 months... I recently took him back...The other day we were about to have sex and I notice that he had a little scar on his penis....It looked like it was just healing... I wanted to ask him what it was but i didnt want him to get mad about it... I didnt have sex with him... I told him that my head was hurting a little and I really didnt feel like it.... I do want to ask him but i dont want to be too blunt... Like What the hell is that... I mean what would be a good way to ask him...with out him actually thinking I think he may have something...
Answers: Me and my bf had separated for about 3 months... I recently took him back...The other day we were about to have sex and I notice that he had a little scar on his penis....It looked like it was just healing... I wanted to ask him what it was but i didnt want him to get mad about it... I didnt have sex with him... I told him that my head was hurting a little and I really didnt feel like it.... I do want to ask him but i dont want to be too blunt... Like What the hell is that... I mean what would be a good way to ask him...with out him actually thinking I think he may have something...
I don't know why everyone is assuming it's an STD when all it is a tiny mark. My guy has had scuffs on himself from having a lot of sex or having sex without much lubrication, and once from one of my teeth accidentally, honest. I get them sometimes, too (I'm a girl). It can happen. Or it might just be random from jerking off. It doesn't necessarily mean he cheated on you or had sex with anyone else. Just say that you noticed he had a scuff on himself and that you're concerned how it happened and hope it doesn't hurt, because something that hurts down there isn't exactly pleasant. Asking casually like that should allow him to be honest and have it be less embarrassing. If he doesn't want to tell you what happened, I'd be concerned and ask why he didn't want to tell me (which there'd be no reason to do anyway, if he's not easily embarrassed and is faithful).
You just have to ask him. See what it could be and get tested. Better safe than sorry!
you can ask him if he was sexually active while you guys were part. ask him if was careful and got tested. if he gets upset then that is his problem. you need to know.
It's obviously stopping you from sleeping with him, I'd ask just to clear your conscious. He could lie about that though, or not even know if he has an STD. Wait for that to heal I guess.
If it is a spouse you bluntly ask. If it is someone you have sex with, not sure how to ask. But if you think he may have something do not have sex with him.
Tell him straight out that the other day you noticed a scar healing on his penis, and you want to know if he is okay and how it happened. You are concerned about him.. If he stammers about it and says nothing, then tell him since you were apart you want both of you to have STD tests to make sure you are both safe.. You cannot be to blunt when it comes to your health and wellbeing!! Good Luck!
The wrong way is: "Have you been sleeping around?"
There is no way round it, I'm afraid, but to come right out and ask him... And if you don't ask him soon then
a) is there a point in your relationship?
b) he's gonna wonder where this whole thing is going. men tend to..
Good Luck!!
ok it depends on what kind of person he is if he's like one of the joker guys. go "DUDE what is that on ur..." and if he's like one of the softys go "um.. honey i noticed something.. and i was just wondering......" that help?
The best thing to do is just say you realize you guys were seperated for 3 months and you feel to make BOTH of you feel better about everything that you want to go get tested together. It makes it seem like you aren't pointing any fingers at him, and that this is just something you want to make you feel better. If he absolutly refuses tell him you won't have sex with him until it's done bc you'll constantly be thinking about that instead of enjoying sex. If he STILL won't go i'd rethink why he's so adament about not going... maybe he already knows he has something and he doesn't want to tell you.
You should...at night while he's sleep, put some tape on the tip of the penis and bring it to the doctor to see if there is anything wrong with it. Or better yet make him ejaculate and take some of the semen to the doctor so they can examine it.
I think the best way would be to tell him to have a HIV tests by both of you so that it can be a mental relief for both of you.
If you only ask him if he has got HIV positive, he may not know or he may not tell the truth. Besides, that, it could be unwanted or hurting. But since it is the matter of your safety as well, you have every right to do the things for your safety. So , make sure you get cleared on that.
he's probably lying, you should get tested ASAP
You have to ask him straight foreword,it is not a fun to be infected with any of the STD it is for your sake and for him.
Ask him gently to consult his doctor as soon as possible
The treatment is easy and available but the complications if these diseases hf not treated are horrible.
Spouse or boyfriend? Either way -
He had every right to have sex with whomever he wanted while you were seperated....so 1st of all - tell him that.
I'd probably word it like this:
"Honey, I know we were apart & whatever you did in that time is forgiven....but I noticed something on you last night - can we talk about it? Could you have caught something?"
Then you need to believe, trust and relax....and never ever ever bring it up again!