I lost my mother from cancer. how can i get over it? or at least get past it?!
Question: I lost my mother on dec. 29, 2007 from cancer she was my best friend and my mom. Some days are okay others are harder then other.. I just dont know what to do.. I try not to think about her too much.. but im scared that one day is gonna be the wrost of them all. im tryin to let my friends in but i really cant.. they say they know how i feel but they didnt lost anyone from cancer.. im just lookin for ppl who lost someone from cancer.. thanks
Answers: I lost my mother on dec. 29, 2007 from cancer she was my best friend and my mom. Some days are okay others are harder then other.. I just dont know what to do.. I try not to think about her too much.. but im scared that one day is gonna be the wrost of them all. im tryin to let my friends in but i really cant.. they say they know how i feel but they didnt lost anyone from cancer.. im just lookin for ppl who lost someone from cancer.. thanks
I am truly very sorry for your loss.
I lost my dad on April 16 2007 after a long battle with prostate cancer. I wanted to be there when he passed and it was the hardest thing I've ever witnessed in my life. He was in so much pain for so long, I just kept hoping and praying for a miracle. I couldn't admit to myself that he was not going to get better, even after he lost the use of his legs and stopped eating.
After he died the one thing I had to keep repeating to myself is "he's not hurting anymore." Even when I miss him, and think about how he'll never walk me down the isle or see my children, I have to stop and remind myself of how much pain he was in, and how he'll never have to hurt like that again.
Every day is hard, and some are harder than others, especially holidays. As time passes I see more and more of how he has influenced my life, my choices, and who I've become. The way he could always make a perfect coke float, his love for wild animals and nature, his ingenuity and his strength. These things I see in myself, no matter how small, and take comfort that they will pass to my children, and theirs after I'm gone, and he will live on.
Take it one day at a time. Take comfort knowing that you are your Mother's living legacy and that she will live on through you, and the best thing you can do for her is to try to lead a long and happy life as she would've wanted. And although it may not seem like it now, this too, shall pass. Over time it will become easier to cope. And one day you'll look back on the good times with hope and happiness instead of sadness, because you received the opportunity to know her, to learn from her, to love her, these are all gifts, cherish them.
you dont get over it or past it you get though it and its not normal for some one to not grieve after only a few months so best of luck and dont shut out your feelings and dont force them on some one who doesnt care best of luck
Well, i did not lose someone SPECIFICALLY from cancer. So sorry. But i did lose someone a couple months ago. He was my brother. He was 17, and was in a crash. So i know what your going through. Sort of... You will never get over it. NEVER!!! Like i still can't imagine living in a world where my brother doesn't. So the pain never stops. But it does fade. And soon it will only be the hurt of wanting to see them, or hug them. Not the hurt that they died.
Sorry if that doesn't make ANY sense. But that's really how i feel.
I am truly sorry. BEST WISHES FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!!
First of all, I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my father to cancer in January 2008, so I can understand what you are feeling. There will be good days, bad days, and days when you can't find a reason to get out of bed, but it will get better. Just take it one day at a time, (cliche I know), and let your friends be there for you. They may not be in the same place, but they can offer an ear and a shoulder. You will need them. It may take years for you to really deal with it, but you will. In the meantime, remember her, the time you had, and think how she would react and what she would say if she were there with you. Just remember the good times and be strong. Good luck.
you dont. not really. but you learn to cope with the loss. I lost my mom 5/5/04 to ovarian cancer and there are still times I pick up the phone to call her...when something happens..good or bad...one of my first thoughts is that I have to tell mama...when my grandson was born one of my first thoughts was to wish my mama was there to see her first greatgrandchild...
I lost my dad to colon cancer on 9/5/07...when I got the flu last month I wanted to call my daddy cause he was the one who always made me feel better when I was little and sick...
my advice is to think about her...remember her...mourn her...talk about her...talk to her...she is still there...she is still a part of your life...
there is a song by Warren Zevon that he wrote when he was diagnosed with inoperable terminal cancer that I really love called Keep Me In Your Heart you can listen to it at http://www.amazon.com/Wind-Warren-Zevon/...
Shadows are falling and I'm running out of breath
Keep me in your heart for awhile
If I leave you it doesn't mean I love you any less
Keep me in your heart for awhile
When you get up in the morning and you see that crazy sun
Keep me in your heart for awhile
There's a train leaving nightly called when all is said and done
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Sometimes when you're doing simple things around the house
Maybe you'll think of me and smile
You know I'm tied to you like the buttons on your blouse
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Hold me in your thoughts, take me to your dreams
Touch me as I fall into view
When the winter comes keep the fires lit
And I will be right next to you
Engine driver's headed north to Pleasant Stream
Keep me in your heart for awhile
These wheels keep turning but they're running out of steam
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Keep me in your heart for awhile
You will never be able to....my grandma died from cancer and when ever i here about it i start crying....even though i never really knew my grandma.....it hurts me everytime i here about her and cancer.....hope you have better luck forgetting about it....but you never will...best of wishes
Sweetheart, I am so sorry that you had to experience such pain at such an early age. Losing a parent to cancer is such a tremendous blow to any person.
I myself am currently fighting a battle with this condition of cancer since last summer. I try to keep my head and heart up always and hold onto a positive mindset.
I have a 17-year-old teenage son who is seriously going through something in his own fight of dealing with what I have going on inside of me. He and his Dad argue daily about his future, as he is a senior in High School and a former straight-A student --that is, until I was diagnosed last year with triple-negative, infiltrating breast carcinoma; somehow he has allowed his grades to fall considerably lower these past months in an attempt to forgo his preplanned college attendance this coming fall. This I find is an attempt on his part to stay close to his Mom, of whom he also has had a very close relation with throughout his entire life. His Dad had been stressing the need for him to leave home and attend college at an outside institution on th East Coast. We live on
the West coast...
My son's sacrifices are admirable, yet I tell him always that he should understand that LIFE GOES ON... that life itself cannot be postponed due to the sad and negative circumstances that throw themselves at us: we either swim or sink. With that said (LIFE GOES ON), compromise has been had where my son will be attending a community college close to home without too much stress to bring his grades back up before enrolling into the 4-year university that his Dad had planned for him. This compromise has helped him immensely, and his grades are starting to rise accordingly.
I understand you are looking for those who have lost someone to cancer; yet, I am merely, as one living with the condition , letting you know something that will ring in my son's ear for as long as I am hear and many times thereafter: LIFE GOES ON.
It rang in the ears of my current husband when he lost his Dad some 21 years ago to a cerebral brain hemorrhage he likes of Richard Nixon's (*Strange as my Hubby's Dad and Nixon were both born on the same day as well as died in the same manner). I was pregnant at the time. I took my husbands hand and placed it firmly on my abdomen to feel a kicking baby, and stated: "Honey, (smile) ...LIFE...goes on... as your Dad would have wanted for you all along."
It also rang in the ears of my current husband and I both when we lost that child some 21 years ago to an umbilical cord accident which wrapped itself three times around his little neck while in utero ..and two days before it's due date...our first child... LIFE GOES ON: We went on to have seven children after that, and *LIFE*... is amazing!
Believe what I tell you here:
"Weeping may endure for a night, but Joy comes...."
<< Psalm 30:5 >>
You will see...
Much Love and Respect
I am so sorry for you. I feel for you so much. I have terminal cancer and I can't help but think how this will effect my daughter once I am gone. She is 27 and my best friend in the world. Try to remember all the good things you had and did with your mom. Try not to ever feel angry that she left you, she did not want to. She will always love you, as I will always love my daughter. Know that she wants you to be okay. she does not want you to be sad and in pain. She wants you to go day by day, month by month, getting stronger. You can never replace her, but you can always love her as she will always love you. looking down to you and wanting the best for you. I am so glad for you that you had the kind of mother that you could love like that. Please know how many people care and want you to be okay. Take care.