Sex after cancer?!
Question: Sex after cancer!?
A question for adults!. About 8 years ago my girlfriend (now my wife) was diagnosed with Cancer!. She went through all the chemo and radiation and it was a difficult year!. She has since had two additional bouts with Cancer!. I have stuck by her side and she is Cancer free now!. There is a lot more to the story but i want to keep it the question short!.
We have now been together 12 years and things have changed over the past few years!. In the past 2 years we have had sex (intercourse) 3 times!. We have not had intercourse in 18 months, the sex 18 months ago resulted in the birth of our daughter!. I try to talk to her but it has not been very successful!. i will not cheat on her and I want to be with her!. She has come up with lots of excuses, the latest being that she does not want to get pregnant because she can not use the pill any longer!. Probably too much info here, but I just want to know from other adults if anyone else has experienced this situation after cancer treatment!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
We have now been together 12 years and things have changed over the past few years!. In the past 2 years we have had sex (intercourse) 3 times!. We have not had intercourse in 18 months, the sex 18 months ago resulted in the birth of our daughter!. I try to talk to her but it has not been very successful!. i will not cheat on her and I want to be with her!. She has come up with lots of excuses, the latest being that she does not want to get pregnant because she can not use the pill any longer!. Probably too much info here, but I just want to know from other adults if anyone else has experienced this situation after cancer treatment!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
I am having issues with sex, but mine are literally physical!. I basically have the hormones of a 45 year old woman instead of a 25 (im 24 actually)!. I am not producing any natural lube, it is hard for me to orgasm, and penetration of anything larger than a slender toy/finger hurts!.
However, from what you say, her problems seem to be more mentally related!. Is there a chance she is clinically depressed!? Especially this soon after giving birth!. If you conceived 18 months ago, she would have given birth 8-9 months ago!? Thats still in the range of post partum depression!.
Maybe if you could get her to see her doc and talk about these symptoms!? Especially an oncologist if she is still seeing one!. Is she a member of any cancer support groups!?
Would she be willing to go to a psychologist!?
Do you guys do other things than intercourse!? I mean, I want sex, just cant!. So we do other things, have gotten a stock pile of toys, and really just help each other out when we are in the mood!. We have a lot of manuel/oral stimulation!.
With a fairly new baby around, are you guys getting stress free alone time!? Perhaps you should arrange once a month or whatever to have someone care for the baby for the weekend while you guys spend alone time together!. No pressure for sex, but watch a movie, hang out, go out to eat!. Cuddle!. Just be togehter!.
A lot of people will gain weight with cancer because of the steroids they add to the chemo cocktail and so forth!. Most women who gain weight have a huge adjustment period where they have to get used to being heavier!. And then weight gain through pregnancy!. If this is the case, maybe she feels ugly and unattractive!. If this is it, you will just have to use your guts, most women will not admit this!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
However, from what you say, her problems seem to be more mentally related!. Is there a chance she is clinically depressed!? Especially this soon after giving birth!. If you conceived 18 months ago, she would have given birth 8-9 months ago!? Thats still in the range of post partum depression!.
Maybe if you could get her to see her doc and talk about these symptoms!? Especially an oncologist if she is still seeing one!. Is she a member of any cancer support groups!?
Would she be willing to go to a psychologist!?
Do you guys do other things than intercourse!? I mean, I want sex, just cant!. So we do other things, have gotten a stock pile of toys, and really just help each other out when we are in the mood!. We have a lot of manuel/oral stimulation!.
With a fairly new baby around, are you guys getting stress free alone time!? Perhaps you should arrange once a month or whatever to have someone care for the baby for the weekend while you guys spend alone time together!. No pressure for sex, but watch a movie, hang out, go out to eat!. Cuddle!. Just be togehter!.
A lot of people will gain weight with cancer because of the steroids they add to the chemo cocktail and so forth!. Most women who gain weight have a huge adjustment period where they have to get used to being heavier!. And then weight gain through pregnancy!. If this is the case, maybe she feels ugly and unattractive!. If this is it, you will just have to use your guts, most women will not admit this!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
aw youre such a thoughtful guy =)Www@Answer-Health@Com
yes but what kind of cancer did she have!. You are such a great guy to stick by her side!. Can you talk to a counselor or a physician about this and what you can do to help her want sex again and not have to worry about getting pregnant!? I can not get pregnant due to a hysterectomy but I have no desire to have sex even if I was married!. I had a bad bout with leukemia last year and it has taken so much out of me!. But I see your point as well!. I will keep you in my prayers and send me a message and let me know what happens!. I wish you luck and tell your wife I have been where she is and if I find as good a man as you I will be lucky!. I would probably be like she is now!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I don't know what KIND of cancer she has!. But if she's had a hysterectomy, a complete one, that's your culprit!. I always said, "I've been spayed"!.
It kills the sex drive!. There are pills available she can take but I don't think they will really work that much, she's got enough to worry about!. You're a good man for being faithful!.
unfortunately, and she probably doesn't even notice this, YOU will have to work extra hard at even arousing her at all now!. How hard it is to start a fire in a fireplace with wet logs sometimes, it seems impossible, but once it gets started, then there finally is a RESPONSE!. Hint, Hint!.
Please, I wouldn't want her on the pill any more either w/cancer, she can't!. So, use the FOAM!. My hubby and I did for 18yrs and we never had children!. It's prescription, she inserts it like a tampax then pushes the tube and the stuff goes into the vaginal canal!. Just REMEMBER to use it!!! lol!!! I totally understand your 'pain'!. My hubby had prostate trouble!. We however, haven't had sex in 11 yrs now!. Bummer on that one! So it's love that keeps a marriage together and being best friends when it all come out in the wash, isn't it!Www@Answer-Health@Com
It kills the sex drive!. There are pills available she can take but I don't think they will really work that much, she's got enough to worry about!. You're a good man for being faithful!.
unfortunately, and she probably doesn't even notice this, YOU will have to work extra hard at even arousing her at all now!. How hard it is to start a fire in a fireplace with wet logs sometimes, it seems impossible, but once it gets started, then there finally is a RESPONSE!. Hint, Hint!.
Please, I wouldn't want her on the pill any more either w/cancer, she can't!. So, use the FOAM!. My hubby and I did for 18yrs and we never had children!. It's prescription, she inserts it like a tampax then pushes the tube and the stuff goes into the vaginal canal!. Just REMEMBER to use it!!! lol!!! I totally understand your 'pain'!. My hubby had prostate trouble!. We however, haven't had sex in 11 yrs now!. Bummer on that one! So it's love that keeps a marriage together and being best friends when it all come out in the wash, isn't it!Www@Answer-Health@Com