Should I take Leave to be with my MOM while she goes through cancer treatments?!
Question: Should I take Leave to be with my MOM while she goes through cancer treatments!?
Stage 3 and she is 400 miles away!. My dad is 64 who will take care of my mom!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
You might want to discuss this with your mother to see what she wants you to do !. !. there may be nothing that you can help her with !. !. she may want you to continue to live your own life!. Stage 3 is not an automatic death sentence !. !. staging is done to determine what type of treatment to give someone!. Your mother may respond to her treatment !. !. and since more and more people are surviving their cancers !. !. your mother could be around for many, many years!.
That is the problem with rushing 'home to care for a parent' with cancer !. !. it may be years before you are needed !. !. so it is best to find out exactly what the situation is !. !. if your Mom needs the help or would rather do this herself!.
Call and ask for a serious conversation !. !. you may also need to determine if you can do this fiancially !. !. someone needs to work to support the family !. !. will you be a caregiver!? Do you have enough finances to give up a job!? Do you have insurance!? How will you take care of yourself!? All questions to be asked before going to help out your Mom!. Try to look ahead and make plans!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
That is the problem with rushing 'home to care for a parent' with cancer !. !. it may be years before you are needed !. !. so it is best to find out exactly what the situation is !. !. if your Mom needs the help or would rather do this herself!.
Call and ask for a serious conversation !. !. you may also need to determine if you can do this fiancially !. !. someone needs to work to support the family !. !. will you be a caregiver!? Do you have enough finances to give up a job!? Do you have insurance!? How will you take care of yourself!? All questions to be asked before going to help out your Mom!. Try to look ahead and make plans!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Follow your gut! I wanted to go to my Mom when she was still in the staging of her cancer, and didn't go!. She lived 1000 mi from me, and I would tell myself that what she was going thru wasn't that big a deal, that the treatments hadn't even started yet!.!.!.!.!.to go then!. She died from a botched D&C that was supposed to stage and grade her endometrial cancer!. I was no where near till the very end, when I had to rush there and say goodbye with her unconscious!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. You never know when your time is up, and you have no clue as to if her time is near!. FOLLOW YOUR GUT!!!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Oh my goodness,I think you should ask your heart what you should do!?Time with your mom is very precious and how do you think you would feel if she were not around,will you be asking yourself if you should have been with her!.I lost my mom to cancer and I spent every second with her!.I would have chopped off a limb if it meant that was what i needed to do to be with my mom!.Your dad is going to need the support too don't you think!?Don't hide away by making excuses, this is your mom and its time to show your love back to her!.I feel so sorry for you as this is a really hard time and you just want normality back in your life don't you!?Take care and bless you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Both my sons live over 400 miles from me as well!. They both asked if they should come home when I was going thru chemo!. I told them no, that they should continue on with their lives and that I wouldn't be in much shape to visit or worry about tending to 'visitors' while they were here!. Being a mom, I would have wanted to cook and clean and entertain them, and I know that would have been too much for me at that time!. And of course wouldn't want them to see me in any pain so I would have had to hide that from them as well!. While on chemo its necessary to rest when tired and not worry about being a bad host!. I do realize they would have understood, but I never would have been able to rest knowing my sons were in the next room!. I would want to spend all my time with them!. Just my way of coping, we spent a lot of time on the phone and in email!. Once I was finished treatments, I traveled to their city and we had a great visit at that time!. Since then they have been home for a visit!.!. it was much nicer after treatments since I could spend all my time with them and spoil them as much as I could!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I got cancer lymph node and breast cancer last year!. Double mastectomy!. Believe me the treatments were not fun, but it is nothing that you cant do yourself if you have to!.
I work in a hospital emergency room!. When having the surgeries,,,six all together after they checked for uterine and other cancers!.!.!.I only missed like maybe 14 days of work all together!.
I would not see any reason to take leave right now!. The time you will need to take leave is if there is a big turn around like her not being able to take the chemo or radiation treatments!. There are pills that people take now before chemo that keep you from getting sick!. Be sure that she knows she must take these at the appointed times, no sooner or later than is prescribed or she will get sick from the chemo!.
Radiation did not make me sick at all any during the entire six weeks of radiation!.
During my chemo and radiation, I would leave work in the afternoon a little early, go to the treatments, go to the mall to do some "mall walking" and go home!. Believe it or not it was a time I really wanted to be alone for a while!.
And
I know people will not believe this, I did not tell my one and only child that I had cancer and he lives in the same town I do!. We talked on the phone a lot that year, that way he never caught me without my wig on by him dropping by to see me at the house un announced!.
He is an only child because his only brother was killed while at work a couple years back, and I do not want to make him worry about his mom dying also!.
Today I am fine, taking Arimidex for the next five years!. Loving Jesus and Life that I have left!!!Www@Answer-Health@Com
I work in a hospital emergency room!. When having the surgeries,,,six all together after they checked for uterine and other cancers!.!.!.I only missed like maybe 14 days of work all together!.
I would not see any reason to take leave right now!. The time you will need to take leave is if there is a big turn around like her not being able to take the chemo or radiation treatments!. There are pills that people take now before chemo that keep you from getting sick!. Be sure that she knows she must take these at the appointed times, no sooner or later than is prescribed or she will get sick from the chemo!.
Radiation did not make me sick at all any during the entire six weeks of radiation!.
During my chemo and radiation, I would leave work in the afternoon a little early, go to the treatments, go to the mall to do some "mall walking" and go home!. Believe it or not it was a time I really wanted to be alone for a while!.
And
I know people will not believe this, I did not tell my one and only child that I had cancer and he lives in the same town I do!. We talked on the phone a lot that year, that way he never caught me without my wig on by him dropping by to see me at the house un announced!.
He is an only child because his only brother was killed while at work a couple years back, and I do not want to make him worry about his mom dying also!.
Today I am fine, taking Arimidex for the next five years!. Loving Jesus and Life that I have left!!!Www@Answer-Health@Com
It depends on what your mother's treatment will be and how she reacts!. My husband was 64 when I had my bilateral mastectomy and we managed just fine!. Chemotherapy was hard on me and I needed some help then, but others sail through it!. Radiation usually doesn't amount to much!.
I agree with Panda, talk to your parents and see what they want!. Maybe you could arrange for someone to come in weekly to clean and do laundry!. Or have some tasty meals delivered to them (careful with this if she's doing chemo)!. I think it would make more sense to take some long weekends to help them for a few days rather than a leave of absence!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I agree with Panda, talk to your parents and see what they want!. Maybe you could arrange for someone to come in weekly to clean and do laundry!. Or have some tasty meals delivered to them (careful with this if she's doing chemo)!. I think it would make more sense to take some long weekends to help them for a few days rather than a leave of absence!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I would!. I had breast cancer in 03, I told my mom not to come!. She lives 1700 miles away!. My dad was (still is) in his eighties and she needed to help take care of him!. I needed her for emotional support as well as helping out!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I think you should do whatever you think is right!.
You don't want to have any regrets in your life!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You don't want to have any regrets in your life!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
If you don't go you will regret itWww@Answer-Health@Com
I would!.!.!.thats your mom manWww@Answer-Health@Com