How and when do I tell...herpes?!
Question: How and when do I tell!.!.!.herpes!?
I was diagnosed with herpes 11 years ago!. my husband did not tell me he had them when we met!. he is the only one i have been with since we met!. now i am thinking about a divorce!. I dont want to be alone for the rest of my life!. so if i find someone else, how do i tell them i have herpes and when do i tell them!? I dont think meeting them for the first time i should say " Hi my name is ***, and I have herps!. whats your name!?"!. I also dont want them to think that I am waisting their time and not tell them until its time to get more personal in the relationship and they run off!. So how do I move on!? i do deserve someone who will love me!. so how do i deal with this issue!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Sorry that this is so long!. I thought you deserved a complete answer!.
When I was first diagnosed, it was very tempting to stay with the guy I got them from!. I was sure that no one would ever love me again - that once anyone found out I had herpes, they would leave me!. But you know what!? I told EVERYONE I slept with after that - before I slept with them - and no one ever rejected me!.
I did change the way that I dated!. Probably for the better!. I used to cat around a lot!. And don't get me wrong - I really enjoyed it!. But once I got herpes, I needed to actually build a relationship with everyone I dated, and so I had more serious, longer-term relationships!.
The first thing that I did was learn everything I could about herpes!. I wanted minimize the risk to my partners, and to be able to answer any questions that they had!.
When I first started dating someone - perhaps in between the first kiss and when we really started making out - I would explain to them that I needed to take things slowly!. For my own reasons!. This gave me some breathing room, and put them on alert that there was something up with me and sex!.
Once we got closer - in several weeks, maybe - I would explain that I had genital herpes!. Someone else on here said (and I think this is important) that you don't tell a possible lover about your herpes and then look to them for reassurance or support or comfort!. They'll need some time to digest the info, maybe do some research of their own!. They'll have questions and need to know that you can answer them without being an emotional mess!.
I would also explain to them that I took Valtrex - mostly to protect them, not for me - and that if we were careful, and never ever had sex when I was having an outbreak, the risk was fairly low that they would get herpes!. But they might!.
Then you just sit tight and see how things go!. Now HE will need to take things slow - so be patient!.
You are definitely NOT "wasting their time" by getting to know them and deciding if you like them before telling them!. You are not a walking herpes accident!. You are a fine person, with great qualities, who has found someone that they like and want to be with!. And you have genitals herpes!. Just like 20% of the rest of population!.
I've never had anyone reject me!. I've had guys need to take some time!. And I would certainly understand (yet be quite sad) if someone had to choose not to be with me because of this!. But its actually been so much better than I feared!.
It's scary - and it will always be scary!. But you will learn your own way to tell!. And it'll turn out fine!.
Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
When I was first diagnosed, it was very tempting to stay with the guy I got them from!. I was sure that no one would ever love me again - that once anyone found out I had herpes, they would leave me!. But you know what!? I told EVERYONE I slept with after that - before I slept with them - and no one ever rejected me!.
I did change the way that I dated!. Probably for the better!. I used to cat around a lot!. And don't get me wrong - I really enjoyed it!. But once I got herpes, I needed to actually build a relationship with everyone I dated, and so I had more serious, longer-term relationships!.
The first thing that I did was learn everything I could about herpes!. I wanted minimize the risk to my partners, and to be able to answer any questions that they had!.
When I first started dating someone - perhaps in between the first kiss and when we really started making out - I would explain to them that I needed to take things slowly!. For my own reasons!. This gave me some breathing room, and put them on alert that there was something up with me and sex!.
Once we got closer - in several weeks, maybe - I would explain that I had genital herpes!. Someone else on here said (and I think this is important) that you don't tell a possible lover about your herpes and then look to them for reassurance or support or comfort!. They'll need some time to digest the info, maybe do some research of their own!. They'll have questions and need to know that you can answer them without being an emotional mess!.
I would also explain to them that I took Valtrex - mostly to protect them, not for me - and that if we were careful, and never ever had sex when I was having an outbreak, the risk was fairly low that they would get herpes!. But they might!.
Then you just sit tight and see how things go!. Now HE will need to take things slow - so be patient!.
You are definitely NOT "wasting their time" by getting to know them and deciding if you like them before telling them!. You are not a walking herpes accident!. You are a fine person, with great qualities, who has found someone that they like and want to be with!. And you have genitals herpes!. Just like 20% of the rest of population!.
I've never had anyone reject me!. I've had guys need to take some time!. And I would certainly understand (yet be quite sad) if someone had to choose not to be with me because of this!. But its actually been so much better than I feared!.
It's scary - and it will always be scary!. But you will learn your own way to tell!. And it'll turn out fine!.
Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Well if you want to get your divorce-by all means go ahead!. So basically he gave you herpes!? Ugh
Well about you moving on if a person really wants to be with you-they would look pass the fact that you have herpes!.
and want to know how to protect themselves from getting the virus!. Don't hide it from them just tell them honestly- because it's not right to play with other peoples life like that, ya know!. I hope that helpsWww@Answer-Health@Com
Well about you moving on if a person really wants to be with you-they would look pass the fact that you have herpes!.
and want to know how to protect themselves from getting the virus!. Don't hide it from them just tell them honestly- because it's not right to play with other peoples life like that, ya know!. I hope that helpsWww@Answer-Health@Com
There is a drug on the market called Valtrex!. If you take one a day it does cut down on the risk of transmission and outbreaks BUT you can still "shed" and give it to someone else!. Condoms is the only fullproof protection!. More people have herpes than you think!. My suggestion is you will know when to tell your significant other!. Believe me, if they love you it won't make a difference to them!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I feel for you, sweetheart!.
To start, you may go to a support group and see how you can deal with herpes and dating!.
I'll give you something to remember by and that you won't be alone forever!. It's possible to find love while living with herpes! It's in the source section!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
To start, you may go to a support group and see how you can deal with herpes and dating!.
I'll give you something to remember by and that you won't be alone forever!. It's possible to find love while living with herpes! It's in the source section!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
ill i can say is that it will take time for someone to except that it may take a few trys!.!.but there are medicines you can try to help from spreading and also use a condom everytimeWww@Answer-Health@Com