Why do some families who are losing a loved one to cancer, shut everyone out of !
Question: Why do some families who are losing a loved one to cancer, shut everyone out of their lives!?
As my gf's family have done!. For the last ten months they have been losing their dad to lung cancer, he is on life support and could die any day, and since they have known he will die, they do not allow visitors and are not in contact with relatives that I know of and are just dealing with this themselves!. They are also in a private hospital if that means anything!. My gf is only in contact with me, but even that is rare nowadays as she is just waiting for her dad to pass to say goodbye!. They are all also ill with grief!. I am loving and supporting her the whole way whatever they decide, just waiting by the phone to hear something, its been almost two months now and nothing!. Is this their way of grieving!? Are they making funeral preparations too!?
Thanks!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Thanks!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Hi!. First, it sounds like you're doing exactly the right thing with your gf - I know you didn't ask about that, but it's important!.
Second, the family is behaving very normally right now!. You might be amazed at the stupid things people say at a time like this (not meaning to!.!.!.it's more insensitivity)!. Also, it adds to stress when others not in the immediate family are around, even if these people are super close!.
For example, if you were there, your gf would be trying to deal with this sad event, but also worrying about what you're thinking or how family members are reacting to you, etc!.
If you've never lost a parent, it's hard to understand how world-altering this is, so keep doing what you're doing and let your gf set the pace!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Second, the family is behaving very normally right now!. You might be amazed at the stupid things people say at a time like this (not meaning to!.!.!.it's more insensitivity)!. Also, it adds to stress when others not in the immediate family are around, even if these people are super close!.
For example, if you were there, your gf would be trying to deal with this sad event, but also worrying about what you're thinking or how family members are reacting to you, etc!.
If you've never lost a parent, it's hard to understand how world-altering this is, so keep doing what you're doing and let your gf set the pace!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
please give them time they are dealing with this in their own way its very hard to watch someone you love go this way yes your girlfriend will want to be around for her dad please let her do this yes she needs to be with her family its very hard for the family too they will be mentally drained give them space grief is a hard thing to cope with!.at the moment they will have pushed funeral preparations to the back of their minds!. when the time comes they will tell you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
well they are focused on the loved one honey!. they know that they don't have much time left in the world and they are just realizing how many things they haven't told him and how many things they need to arrange!. the relatives will be in terrible grief!. they may or may not want to talk to someone, so don't force them!. they just want to make the remaining minutes of the victim's life as pleasurable as possible!. hope this helps!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Well, they're stressing, and it's probably so overwhelming to them!. They want to spend all their time with their love one, so I understand!. They're feeling grief and that's totally normal!. If you feel really neglected just explain it to your GF!. She'll most likely explain her feelings to you, and it actually might make it easier on her, like a giant weight has been lifted off her shoulders!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I've been in the situation of losing a family memember!. It's a hard process, and it's extremely hard to deal with!. They are just focused on him!. I lost my father three years ago, and I'm just starting to accept it!. Be patient, offer a listening ear to the family!. Sorry to hear what's going on!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
My grandad died of lung cancer and my dad is an only child so we had all the worry!. It was a terrible, long, drawn-out stressful period!. I had panic attacks and was on anti-depressants!. Don't take it personally!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I don't think they are intentionally shutting anyone out!. It takes all of their energy just to get thru the day!. Sometimes dealing with other people is not something they can do!. Be patient with them and love them thru this!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Some people are really private!. They are overwhelmed and don't want others to be around!. It really isn't that uncommon and is necessary for them!. I'm sure they are grieving and I would expect they would be at least talking about the funeral when they are seeing things go downhill like this!. It is okay to call your girlfriend and ask how she is doing and can you do anything!. Be there for your girlfriend to the degree that she will allow it!. That is all you can do!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
They are using all their energy to cope with someone in their family dying!. Just be patient, it will be OK to call them and ask if there is anything you can do for them, i!.e!. fetch groceries, walk the dog etc!. They are going through a terrible time and until that has happened to you it is difficult to emphasise!. Just be there when needed and they will bless you for it!. Their life has just gone on hold until this is over and then for a while after!. Everybody deals with these things differently!. Take care now!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Not everyone does!. There is some type of idea that people need to keep a constant vigil when someone is dying !. !. however as you can see that vigil may take a very, very long time as there is no way of knowing how long someone will live!. Dying, like giving birth, has its own time frame!.
I am sorry that they are not handling this journey (one we will all take one day) very well!. Cancer is a devastating disease!. Just be patient with them, make no judgements, and be there for your girl friend!. There is no way around any of this !. !. you can only go through it!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I am sorry that they are not handling this journey (one we will all take one day) very well!. Cancer is a devastating disease!. Just be patient with them, make no judgements, and be there for your girl friend!. There is no way around any of this !. !. you can only go through it!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It's hard to explain unless you have been there!. The only people they can talk to are each other!. You're not being deliberately cut out, they need each other and simply don't see anybody else or the wider picture!.
Cancer isn't a pretty sight and banning visitors preserves some of the patients dignity!. He will also be highly susceptible to germs, so the less visitors is less risk!.
Best advice would be to go with the flow and be there when you're asked - not before!.
He will have made his funeral wishes known some time back!.
Best wishes in a difficult situation!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Cancer isn't a pretty sight and banning visitors preserves some of the patients dignity!. He will also be highly susceptible to germs, so the less visitors is less risk!.
Best advice would be to go with the flow and be there when you're asked - not before!.
He will have made his funeral wishes known some time back!.
Best wishes in a difficult situation!.Www@Answer-Health@Com