Losing a Loved One... Coping Help?!
Question: Losing a Loved One!.!.!. Coping Help!?
I lost my sister in April to Pancreatic Cancer!. I was there when she took her last breath!. Some days are better then others, but today seems to be one of those days where I miss her very much!. I am here at work, but just can't seem to focus!. I know that I will never get over this, I have never seen anyone take their last breath before and do not want this to be the image in my mind, but again, today seems to be one of those days!.
Any words of wisdom on how to survive those bad days!. !?!?!?!?!?
Thanks to everyone! Www@Answer-Health@Com
Any words of wisdom on how to survive those bad days!. !?!?!?!?!?
Thanks to everyone! Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
I lost my Mom on July 30th to pancreatic cancer!. I held her hand while she took her last breath!. It's so hard without her here now!. I'm taking care of my Dad who is very deep in his grief!. Most days I wonder around lost!.
I know my Mom would be so mad at me for being so sad!. But that doesn't change that I miss her!.
Someone mentioned compartmentalizing!. I understand that!. I take it one minute at a time!. Lately, I've been taking it an hour at a time!. Give myself a quick cry in the restroom and back to work!. After work, I go see my Dad and do what I can to help him cope (always with a cheery face!. I'd hate for him to see me hurting on top of his hurt)!. Then I go home and cry until I'm done!. Sometimes it's just a few minutes, sometimes it's until I fall asleep!.
Surviving the bad days is tough!. I'll go somewhere private and talk to my Mom just so she knows I'm doing the best I can!. I don't know if she can hear me though!. It seems to help a little bit!.
I try to go to places where I'm happiest or was happiest before my Mom got sick!. That helps a little bit!.
I wish you the best of everything in getting past the hurt and into a place that's more peaceful!. If you find it, let me know, please!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
I know my Mom would be so mad at me for being so sad!. But that doesn't change that I miss her!.
Someone mentioned compartmentalizing!. I understand that!. I take it one minute at a time!. Lately, I've been taking it an hour at a time!. Give myself a quick cry in the restroom and back to work!. After work, I go see my Dad and do what I can to help him cope (always with a cheery face!. I'd hate for him to see me hurting on top of his hurt)!. Then I go home and cry until I'm done!. Sometimes it's just a few minutes, sometimes it's until I fall asleep!.
Surviving the bad days is tough!. I'll go somewhere private and talk to my Mom just so she knows I'm doing the best I can!. I don't know if she can hear me though!. It seems to help a little bit!.
I try to go to places where I'm happiest or was happiest before my Mom got sick!. That helps a little bit!.
I wish you the best of everything in getting past the hurt and into a place that's more peaceful!. If you find it, let me know, please!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
I lost My MOM 2 years ago, I was there when she was dying and I closed her eyes!. I was in deep depression for 2 years and Just got out of it!. Can you cry!? I could not cry and could not express emotions!. Talk to her sometimes when alone in the room, write to her letter and Send it on a paper plane!.
if you really think you are getting depressed please go to the therapy untill it gets worst!.
I understand you so much!. It is natural you will always have days like this but try to rememmber nice tings about her Like when she made you laugh, when you cuddled and try to forget those last moments try to remember her healthy and happy!.
and think that she would not be happy to see you like this!.
if you ever need to talk I am OpenWww@Answer-Health@Com
if you really think you are getting depressed please go to the therapy untill it gets worst!.
I understand you so much!. It is natural you will always have days like this but try to rememmber nice tings about her Like when she made you laugh, when you cuddled and try to forget those last moments try to remember her healthy and happy!.
and think that she would not be happy to see you like this!.
if you ever need to talk I am OpenWww@Answer-Health@Com
I just lost 2 people over the summer!. The best advice I have is to try to not to think about it!. Distract yourself as much as possible!. Sorry to hear that!. :/Www@Answer-Health@Com
It may help you to write a letter to her, even though she is gone!. On line there are CarePages which serve the same purpose!. Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Losing a loved one is always difficult, and very traumatic if you are there with them as they pass on!. I lost my baby girl last November!. She was born too early, and struggled to breathe!. I held her as she died!. It was only minutes, but seemed an eternity, probably because I kept imagining it to be painful!. Quite often, I sit in what would have been in her room, holding the blanket she had been wrapped in and look at pictures of her!. Sometimes, I go up to the cemetery and just sit and talk to her!. It helps to talk to people who have been through the same thing, so support groups help a lot!. Sitting and thinking of the good times with your sister, and looking at old pictures may bring some peace as well!. Are you a religious person!? Talk to your minister!. Our minister brought so much peace of mind to me, and sometimes, we still sit over coffee and talk about it!. Good luck to you, and remember to take it one day at a time, one minute at a time if you have to!. Don't shut your family and friends out!. They are the most important people to have around you!. God Bless, and I truly hope you find some peace of mind!Www@Answer-Health@Com
I lost my teenage son to cancer so !. !. I do understand as I was with him during his whole cancer journey, treatments, hospice, and his final moments when I held him as he took his last breath!. One way to cope is to join a support group of other people who have faced similar issues!. There are some wonderful online groups or you might want to look around locally for a group!.
One way that might help you get through the day is to learn to compartmentalize !.!. which means you should set aside a time of day where you will grieve !. !.think about your sister !. !.or anything about the death that still bothers you!. Talking this over with others, writing about it in a journal !. !.these are ways to learn to cope !. !. but do it only at specific times!. Don't let grief overtake your entire life !. !. your sister would never want you to do that!. So, the rest of the day you can go to work, be as normal as possible, and you save your sadness and grief for that specific 'Remembrance' time !. !. which can be as short or as long as you need it to be!.
Beyond Indigo
http://www!.beyondindigo!.com/
BI: Loss of a Sibling Support/ Message Group
http://beyondindigo!.com/forums/view_foru!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
One way that might help you get through the day is to learn to compartmentalize !.!. which means you should set aside a time of day where you will grieve !. !.think about your sister !. !.or anything about the death that still bothers you!. Talking this over with others, writing about it in a journal !. !.these are ways to learn to cope !. !. but do it only at specific times!. Don't let grief overtake your entire life !. !. your sister would never want you to do that!. So, the rest of the day you can go to work, be as normal as possible, and you save your sadness and grief for that specific 'Remembrance' time !. !. which can be as short or as long as you need it to be!.
Beyond Indigo
http://www!.beyondindigo!.com/
BI: Loss of a Sibling Support/ Message Group
http://beyondindigo!.com/forums/view_foru!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com