What can you say to a person who has just been diagnosed...?!
Question: What can you say to a person who has just been diagnosed!.!.!.!?
with Lou Gehrig's Disease!? My uncle has just been diagnosed with this horrible disease and I'm having trouble finding the right words!.!.!.I don't want to say "I'm so sorry" and make him feel hopeless but I don't want to say, "I hope you feel better soon" since he won't!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
It's not about the right words!.
It's one of those times when we're best advised to remember we have two ears and only one mouth; so maybe twice as much listening as talking is required!.
Listen nonjudgmentally!. If you're a safe person to vent to, he may want to go into detail about aspects of it that make you antsy!. If he's a really head-on kind of guy, he may bluntly address it in a manner which makes you uncomfortable!. Whatever his method, it's all about him!. No judgments!.
Take your conversational cues from his mood!. Don't say "I know how you feel," "this is God's will," etc!. Most of us haven't been there!.
Learn about his condition!. That doesn't mean sending him links to every ALS article out there, but it does mean making it less mystifying (and scary) for you!. That will help you know what to expect as things progress!. After all, how can you empathize with someone if you don't have an idea what's up!?
If you're nearby, lend your presence if it would benefit him!. Stay out of his way if THAT would benefit him!.
If you're far away, keep in touch if it would benefit him!. Understand that his focus may not be on the niceties of responding!. Send the letters anyway!.
Remember to save some emotional reserve for you!. You can't be emotionally supportive of others if you stop maintaining yourself!. Keep getting good rest, exercising, dwelling on things besides this, etc!. You are allowed to still have fun, laugh, live and love even in the face of this!. Don't let it consume you!. Don't do unnecessary guilt!.
As for what to say, it doesn't have to be frou frou!. You want to tell him you're sorry and you love him, right!? Then say "I'm sorry!. I love you!."Www@Answer-Health@Com
It's one of those times when we're best advised to remember we have two ears and only one mouth; so maybe twice as much listening as talking is required!.
Listen nonjudgmentally!. If you're a safe person to vent to, he may want to go into detail about aspects of it that make you antsy!. If he's a really head-on kind of guy, he may bluntly address it in a manner which makes you uncomfortable!. Whatever his method, it's all about him!. No judgments!.
Take your conversational cues from his mood!. Don't say "I know how you feel," "this is God's will," etc!. Most of us haven't been there!.
Learn about his condition!. That doesn't mean sending him links to every ALS article out there, but it does mean making it less mystifying (and scary) for you!. That will help you know what to expect as things progress!. After all, how can you empathize with someone if you don't have an idea what's up!?
If you're nearby, lend your presence if it would benefit him!. Stay out of his way if THAT would benefit him!.
If you're far away, keep in touch if it would benefit him!. Understand that his focus may not be on the niceties of responding!. Send the letters anyway!.
Remember to save some emotional reserve for you!. You can't be emotionally supportive of others if you stop maintaining yourself!. Keep getting good rest, exercising, dwelling on things besides this, etc!. You are allowed to still have fun, laugh, live and love even in the face of this!. Don't let it consume you!. Don't do unnecessary guilt!.
As for what to say, it doesn't have to be frou frou!. You want to tell him you're sorry and you love him, right!? Then say "I'm sorry!. I love you!."Www@Answer-Health@Com
There have been great medical strides in treating ALS & it's no longer a certain death sentence!. You already said what you need to in your question!. What's wrong with "I don't know what to say except I love you & want to be there for you", & yes he'll have good days & bad but do just that!. Be there for him!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Hmmm, how about it doesn't change the person you are and I love you!?
My Mom had a stroke 13 years ago!. It DID change the person she is, but it didn't change the fact that I LOVE my Mommy; even though, she's never going to get better!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
My Mom had a stroke 13 years ago!. It DID change the person she is, but it didn't change the fact that I LOVE my Mommy; even though, she's never going to get better!.Www@Answer-Health@Com