LITTLE SISTER DIED... JUST 14... OF LUPUS!!!?!


Question: LITTLE SISTER DIED!.!.!. JUST 14!.!.!. OF LUPUS!!!!?
My little sister died of Lupus on sunday and her funeral is tomorrow!.!.!. i dont know what to do with myself!. Her last words to me were, "My suffering is ending, please do not cry for me! I love you!" All i seem to be thinking about are those words, her weak selfless face and concerns, and the suffering she was going through!. In her last month all she did was worry about me and my family and what it will be like for us when she passed, she never felt sorry for herself or anything nothing was ever about her!. I loved and still love her so so so so much!!! I want to remember the good times but it is hard!. As long as i can remember this disease has put a ristriction on her life and now it has taken it! does anyone know how painful it was for her!?!!? I dont know what to do with myself and my whole family is a wreck! and i dont know what to do i mean why her none of us have this disease no one we know!. Why her she was the smartest most talented selfless person i have ever met and now she is gone! Do any of you have the disease how hard is it for you!?!!?Www@Answer-Health@Com


Answers:
No, I don't have it but my daughter had what seemed to be some of the characteristics!. She had her her 4 wisdom teeth pulled June '04!. Which led to her developing an infection, that spread to her sinesis (that gave her constant head/eye aches) Jul '04!. She was tired most of the time!. Then she developed a cyst of infection in her lung Nov '04!. They operated and removed it!. She was improving!. She caught a nosomial germ!. This triggered a relaspe!. So the disease which affects 60 in a mill, first infects your sinesis, then shuts down the kidneys (she was constantly hooked up to the dialysis machine) then it attacks the liver and lungs!. It basically was a disease where the body attacks it's own self!. 'Wegen krankheit' is the German name!.
Pain, yea lots!. She was on pain killers, cortizone!. Then medically induced coma so she would not feel so bad!. She died Jan '05!. So much for the docs 6 mos treatment and she should be back to normal!. There are no guarantees not for her, not for your sister, not for you or me!.
What you should do!? Cry, remember and cry somemore!. Cry with your family, cry alone!. Cry till your tired and cannot cry no more!.
Then slowly you do your regular routine (even if it is in a mechanical fashion) of going through the motions!. You take a bath, eat, go to school!. Then when you are alone you cry some more!. You try to not get "stuck" because people who get "stuck" cannot move on and become "sick"!. You have to realize that as hard/hateful death is, it is so much a part of "life!." We all must at one time or another "die!." We just don't know when, how or where!. I tend to think of it mentally as, the person on the sickbed (like your sister) is there and will eventually pass!. We who are in the "waiting room" while we can visit her but at the same time are free to keep ourselves occupied by reading books, watching t!.v!. knitting!. I associated this with life by thinking either it is me in the bed waiting to die or I am in the "waiting room" waiting on my turn to be in the bed!. So I keep myself occupied in the "waiting room," while I am free to visit someone who is in the bed and until it is my turn!.
You do not mention if you are a member of a church!.
If you later can take the time and look in your phone book under "churches" and find a :Church of God in Christ!."
See the pastor and find out from him what type of bereavment groups there might be!. That way you can talk with others who share your pain through losses of their own!.
The way you are feeling, there is nothing wrong with you!. It is normal to feel hurt, pain (because of the loss) and bewilderment at why this has happened!. Your sister was concerned for you because she knew she would one day pass and you would react like you are doing now!.
She knew she was going to a far better place (like my daughter got her stuff in order before she went to the hospital) because God puts in each of us a 6th sense to know when "it is finished!." She knew!.
So now the pain you feel althought totally different from her;s is pain nonetheless!. She bore hers, you must now be strong and bear yours!.
Time will heal if you do not remain stuck!. So grieve!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

i don't have lupus, but i just wanted to lend my condolences on your loss!. please let yourself heal - she is no longer suffering and is at peace!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

I dont have a disease but I read your questions and couldnt help but to tear up, Im so sorry for your loss, I know that the lost of a loved one is one of the most difficult things to endure in life, but just try your best to remember all the good times, I know it must not mean much since you have no clue who I am but I mean everything im saying from the bottom of my heart i know its difficult, but like i said remember the good times and how brave she was, even though she had this disease and was going through pain all she cared about was family, just remember her for the amazing person that she was, I express my heartfelt symphathy to youWww@Answer-Health@Com

Oh, my God, sweetie, I am so sorry!. I am sorry that you have to go through this, and your family, and your sister!.
There is no 'right' way to feel, or to go through this!. There really isn't!. Everyone handles grief differently!. Some people go through the typical '5 stages of grief' (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance!.) Some people skip stages!. Some people don't have some of them!. You do want to remember the good times, but here's what you need to know: you may not be ready yet!. Don't force yourself to feel certain things!.
But no matter what, here is what you need to know: Your sister loved you very much!. You loved her very much!. She is in a better place!. And you will be in a better place!. You will be able to accept that she is gone without forgetting her or feeling as if you are betraying her memory!.
The best way to remember her, and to honor her, is to live your life, to grow and mature--all the while keeping her in your memory and thanking God that you had her in your life!.
Best of luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

First of all, my sincerest condolences to you and your family!. I do not have this disease, but I do know of a couple of people who do!. It is a serious disease, and from what you have said, your sister was certainly a very brave young lady!. Try to remember the good times you had with her, and remember that she is no longer suffering, as Lupus can be very debilitating!. We do not know what is in store for any of us, and there is a higher power than us that has a plan, and we do not know what his plan is!. I hope that you and your family will be stronger and get the strength from your sister that she is giving to you!.
Hugs and Good Luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com





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