Best friend's husband just diagnosed with terminal cancer?!
Question: Best friend's husband just diagnosed with terminal cancer!?
This came totally out of the blue and I don't know how I can help or what I can do!. Lately he's been losing weight and was in pain, last night he went to the ER where several x-rays and blood tests were done!. The x-rays show cancer in his lung, spine and hip!. The Doctor told my friend he is terminal and all they can do is make him comfortable!. He hasn't been told he is terminal but he knows he has cancer in his lung and thinks he is in Hospital for that to be dealt with!. My friend is trying to keep the truth from him so that he will fight to get healthy, if he knows he is terminal he will just curl up and die!. My question is, what can I do to help my friend as she goes through this!? I am there for her 24/7 and she can call on me anytime for anything, but I feel so helpless!. I also don't know what to say to the husband when we visit, my face is an open book and I'm really afraid he'll know we're keeping something from him!. I know some of you will say he should be told but I have to abide by my friends wishes, it's not for me to tell him!. I just hate feeling so useless!. I just have no idea how best to help!. We have been friends for almost 20 years and suddenly I feel like we're strangers!. I don't know how to act around her!. I know I can do a lot of practical stuff, make meals, go shopping, be a shoulder to cry on etc!. but it doesn't feel like it's enough!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
My heart goes out to you, your friend and her husband!. I lost my husband to cancer also!. The most wonderful thing my best friend did was exactly what you are doing, but mainly, just listening to me!. She didn't have to say anything, just being there was enough!. When I look back on the situation now, I just remember her being there, being sympathetic, listening to me, and helping me in any way she could, which is exactly what you are doing!.
Another hard time for me was after my husband died!. After the funeral and everything settled down, all my friends kind of went their own way, except my best friend, who still listened to me and was always there to do anything she could to get me back into life!.
Good luck to you and your friend and her husband!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Another hard time for me was after my husband died!. After the funeral and everything settled down, all my friends kind of went their own way, except my best friend, who still listened to me and was always there to do anything she could to get me back into life!.
Good luck to you and your friend and her husband!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
well when it comes to Cancer we all feel helpless!. Just being there for her is the best thing!. And he will eventually know the Dr's will see to that it is a patients right!.Your not strangers it is because you are at a loss for words!.Just lighten her load any chance you can!.Thanks for being a dear friend!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
She doesn't have an option to keep anything from him, since it's not up to her!. The law has already decided!.
With the informed consent laws now, doctors are legally bound to discuss everything regarding diagnosis and treatment with the patient!. Whether the word 'terminal' is used or not is not the issue!.
The doctors cannot withhold information from the patient!. They cannot withhold that there is cancer is in other areas!. He would be able to draw his own conclusions whether it was terminal or not by the extensive spread of the cancer alone, and by the prognosis!. So your friend is either misinformed as to what her husband really knows (he has the legal right for *her* to not even know what he's been told), or he is not mentally capable of understanding!.!.!.which doesn't sound like the case since your friend believes he has the wits about him to fight to get healthy!.
Www@Answer-Health@Com
With the informed consent laws now, doctors are legally bound to discuss everything regarding diagnosis and treatment with the patient!. Whether the word 'terminal' is used or not is not the issue!.
The doctors cannot withhold information from the patient!. They cannot withhold that there is cancer is in other areas!. He would be able to draw his own conclusions whether it was terminal or not by the extensive spread of the cancer alone, and by the prognosis!. So your friend is either misinformed as to what her husband really knows (he has the legal right for *her* to not even know what he's been told), or he is not mentally capable of understanding!.!.!.which doesn't sound like the case since your friend believes he has the wits about him to fight to get healthy!.
Www@Answer-Health@Com
i am sorry to hear this,having had cancer myself i know what a devastating effect it has on all concerned!.just be her friend let her rant and rave about how unfair life is!.if you drive offer to take her to the hospital or even out to lunch it all helps!.make sure she contacts the macmillan nurses they can help in so many ways even financially!.i hope they can keep his pain down as that will make your friend feel better!.thinking of you all at this sad time!.Www@Answer-Health@Com