My father in law has pancreatic cancer it's too far advanced for them to do anyt!

My father in law has pancreatic cancer it's too far advanced for them to do anything my question is?

How much information do I tell my 9 and 11 year old boys? When is the right time to tell them? before he gets really bad? I just don't know how to go about this, my husband wants to tell them now and I keep telling him no not yet but I know we can't not tell them any help would be greatly appreciated.

My suggestion is to listen to the wise words from fuzzydice and your husband. Fuzzydice is still trying to cope after 50 years. Why would you want to wait to tell them?

I am terminally ill. I don't know if I have any tomorrows left, so everything I do focuses on the moment. I make sure everyone in my life knows I love them because I may not be around to tell them tomorrow. Your sons may only be 9 and 11, but they are more than capable of handling something like this. What if your father-in-law didn't wake up in the morning? How would you explain that to your kids? At least give them the opportunity to spend as much time with him as possible, even if it is only a phone call every day. It will do wonders for his morale, and your kids will draw strength from him. If you don't tell them, your father-in-law is going to have to put on one heck of an act when he is around them. You are basically forcing him to lie to those kids, and that isn't fair to him or your boys.

My kids were a lot older when I had to sit them down and tell them I was terminal (16 and 21). It was probably the most difficult thing I have ever done as a parent. The time I have spent with them since my diagnosis has been the greatest gift I have ever received. Believe me, your kids will thank you for your honesty, and your father-in-law will thank you for your courage. Good luck to all of you.