What is the best way to deal with a partner with sickle-cell anemia?!
Question:
What is the best way to deal with a partner with sickle-cell anemia?
My 36 year-old partner is battling sickle-cell anemia, and he is in frequent pain, and his right hip is deterioratiing, so he may need it replaced eventually. He is on a lot of medication, and he is anxious and irritable all of the time, so he takes tranquilizers as well. We share an apeartment together. He and I love and care about each other, and when he feels well, he treats me well. However, when he isn't feeling well, he's a mild asshole. He starts treating me mean, calling me names and treating me like I'm his slave. When he has a severe crisis, he turns into a full-on asshole. On top of being in severe pain, he treats me and the hospital staff like crap. Then he'll get into his whine mode. He starts claining that the doctors and nurses are racist, that they're not doing enough for him, and he demands things from me (gettting food for him, etc.) then turns around and calls me a *****. This is driving me insane! I love the guy, but he can be sooo hard to live with!
Answers:
I'm only about half his age (I'll be 20 in a few months), but I have sickle-cell so I know the pain he's going through. However, the name-calling is uncalled for (pardon the pun), especially towards the hospital staff. His meds may not be strong enough, because I know when I have a crisis and take medication for it, I feel (somewhat) back to normal. Be calm but FIRM and let him know it's uncalled for.