A friend has a rare disease and needs chemo?!
Question: A friend has a rare disease and needs chemo?
There is this girl I know that is 19 or 20 years old, I've known her all my life (our moms were best friends since they were 13 or 14 years old) she was having some problems and so she went in and they diagnosed her with rhuematoid (spelling is incorrect) arthritis. They gave her the meds and a doctor and sent her home, but she didn't get better. So she goes back in every day for over a week and has all these tests done. They found out that she has this rare disease and the only way they can try to save her is by chemo. I guess the chemo they are putting her on is one of the most toxic and is so strong she can only be on it for a couple months (or weeks, i forget) then they start her on less toxic ones. She is going to lose her hair (obviously) and I was wondering if shaving MY hair off would be supportive or just stupid? I'm having a hard time deciding what to do, I am a girl, I do have long pretty hair, and I'm going into cosmetology here in a couple months. Or would me doing something like finding her cute hats and making her treats mean a whole lot more? I will ask her about this but just from your standpoint or opinion what do you think I should do? They hope the meds will put her into remission, but the chances of her dying or it coming back are very high. Please help.
(SHORT QUESTION) What are some good ways to support my sick friend.
Answers:
stay happy, go out with them and do normal stuff, I am going through chemo now and my best friends are the ones who keep me feeling normal by acting normal with me but still giving me support when I need it.
I told all of my friends NOT to shave their heads, I just dont like that kind of stuff, but make her good food, chemo makes a person not want to eat, when she is on chemo get her lots of candy and snacks to keep calories comming in also to get the crappy taste that they get.
Get her some cool hats, that will in my opnion be much better than to shave your own head.
Honestly, All you can do is be there for her, visit often, ask if she needs any thing, holder her hand when she's afraid, cry with her, laugh with her. Just be there. Good Luck You are a True Friend
Retired Nurse
I answered your other question (same question) but want to reiterate that you need to ASK her how you can help. She may not find you shaving your head to be supportive (NONE of the teens I work with like other people shaving their heads in acts of "support"- they don't see a reason for it at all.)
If she does lose her hair, then by all means bring her hats and scarves. Offer to go to treatment with her to be with her during the day. Bring her some good magazines. Does she have an iPod or iPad? A gift card for iTunes would be good. Does she have a laptop she can bring to the hospital? Maybe a new computer game.
Do not bring plants or flowers- those can be dangerous while on chemo. Food can be iffy- you'll have to ask her what she can eat/is interested in eating. Packaged items are better than homemade in this case. Hospitals can be very dry, so maybe some lip balm and lotion (being aware that some scents may not agree with her right now.)
Work in pediatric oncology
That would be just plain stupid. An act like that is more like you are making fun of her.
Why don't you just continue to treat her as your friend, and ignore the fact that she is bald? That would be MUCH more loving, and would not call such obvious attention to a very delicate problem.
If SHE want to tell YOU about it, then shut up and listen. As she "settles in" with this problem, you may find that she likes hats, THEN you buy her a new one..