How Can I Prevent Contracting Herpes from My Partner?!

Question: How Can I Prevent Contracting Herpes from My Partner?

I have been dating a guy for the past couple of weeks and things are going really great. Things were getting kind of heavy last night and I thought it could have been the night we moved things to the bedroom but he so kindly informed before we laid down that he had herpes. I was shocked and not sure how to react. I know its common but at the same time I also know that it's not something I want. I am not a child I am 24 years old but have only had one partner. I think this guy can be someone really special and I want to stick around I'm just not clear on the likely hood of me catching herpes from him. Can someone please clear up exactly how this virus works? Can I catch herpes when he doesn't have a out break? Do condoms protect me from the virus? Can I safely preform oral sex on him with out a condom? What can I do to protect myself other than ending the relationship or not taking it to the next level? Answers would be greatly appreciated. I've started looking at other questions and answers on here and most of them seem to be very negative and judge mental so please keep your judgments to yourself this guy is a very nice man and not by any means someone you would consider to be a "slut" or "dirty"

Thanks!

Please note: I do not currently have Herpes....My boyfriend does...We have not had sex yet but I would like to and this is not a something that will change my feelings towards him...I just need to know how to protect myself.

Answers:

You sound like a very mature woman and your guy sounds like a great catch because he was honest with you about something that is difficult to discuss. From what I understand, herpes is not 100% prevented through condoms, because there are areas that the condom doesn't cover. Even when he's not having an outbreak you can catch it through viral shedding. Some people have gotten herpes by just skin to skin contact as well. So it would be best to use a condom and a female condom together.

I'm not sure about this, but my friend told me her GYN told her that she could get genital herpes from oral sex from someone who had a cold sore. Dental dams can prevent that though.

Another consideration is to get tested yourself. Most people with herpes are unaware that they have it and are sub-clinical, meaning NO symptoms! If you already have it, you don't have to worry about contracting it, and you are one of the lucky ones who are asymptomatic.

(I forgot to mention an anti-viral, such as Valtrex. He can take that which helps to reduce the risk of spreading herpes. He may already be taking it.)

I wish you the best.

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How Can I Prevent Contracting Herpes from My Partner?!

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