I really need advice here (i know what's in my heart, but would like to hea!


Question: I really need advice here (i know what's in my heart, but would like to hear your opinion)?
try and make a long story short. moved closer to my mom in december due to her health. well, just recently her health has taken a turn for the worse.

here's the situation. i'm starting to feel like i have to choose between my husband or my mom. in my heart i feel like i need to do all i can do to help my mom. i honestly believe that... she took care of me when i was growing up, til i left home. now, i feel like it's my turn to do all i can do to help take care of her. my husband is not very helpful/thoughtful in this situation. he wants me to spend more time with him instead of caring for my mom all the time (cause i haven't been giving him the attention that he feels he needs). i feel like its goin to cost me my marriage. which i told him that he's being selfish. he has NO relationship with his mom, so he doesn't understand.

i know what my heart is telling me to do, i just wanted to get advice on what others are thinking

Answers:

it's time to take care of your mom......if you don't you will regret it for the rest of your life............your husband will have to understand ... or not.....



You love your mother and your husband. He should not make you feel as though you have to choose. You seem like a very understanding person, tell your husband exactly how you are feeling, and also that you understand his concerns. Communication is the answer, remember to keep being honest with eachother or this whole thing will blow wat out of proportion



i honestly think, maybe you should limit your time on caring for you mom, but make it really effective and worth it, also for you husband- try to please him with whatever free time you have.



Your husband should support and love you while you take care of your mom. And you should do the same for him if the tables were turned.



We both understand why your husband is upset, he feels neglected. I understand why you feel you need to take care of your Mom but you are also married to your husband. It makes you feel like you are being pulled in 2 different directions. Is it possible to spend time with your Mom in the day or while your husband is working and get someone in to be with your Mom when your husband is home, even if only for a few hours when hubby is home. This person who comes to sit with your Mom can keep her busy with anything your Mom likes to do such as knitting, playing cards, games (domino's, checkers, etc) or just talking or watching a favorite movie on tv? That way hubby will be happy and you will too without the tension between the 2 of you. Mom was married once and should understand, especially if she enjoys the "sitter".

work in medical field 20+years




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