I may have a small problem.?!


Question: I may have a small problem.?
The wedding is less then two months away. We've sent out the invites and everything is set. But my fiance's brother, Brian, is back in town. Brian is bi-polar, mildly pyschotic, and a violent alcoholic. Neither of us want him at the wedding but he knows many of the people my fiance know and they are all invited to the wedding. It won't be hard for him to figure out where and when it is. Particularly since we sent my fiance's mom an invite and he goes over there often.My problem is that Brian doesn't like my fiance and he is very loud, rude, and vulgar when drunk (and he's always drunk) He likes me even less. If he shows up at the wedding and starts throwing a fit (we highly suspect he will) is it ok to ask a few of the guys to deny him entrance to the church and if necessary escort him away as quietly as possible?
Another fly in the ointment, my fiance's mom wants him to come. She has asked if she can bring him as long as he is sober. My fiance flat out said no.

Answers:

In reality, that is your future brother-in-law and that means he's family. Family means being non-judgemental, tolerant, loving unconditionally (different from actually liking the person), and diplomatic in the situation. He can't control the fact that he is bi-polar; it is a dreadful mental disorder and does cause a lot of heartache for any one around that person. My advice is to not let yourself live with the chance that one day down the road, you and your fiancee' regret not having his brother there and breaking your to be mother-in-law's heart. At least try. If he starts acting up, then by all means, have him removed, but please make the attempt to be the bigger person in the situation.



I think its perfectly fine to deny him entry, yes use the guys to guard the door & make sure one has a cell phone to call help if needed. If you two don't want him there he shouldn't be there at all , no matter who asks & everyone should respect your wishes. Its your special day as a couple, do it your way & stick to your guns. You might lose his mom, but if she is so adamant he comes or she stays home, then tell her to stay home.




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