My boyfriend says I should lose weight?!
Question: I met my bf while working at the post office. When I worked there I had lost between 30-40 pounds and since then have gained it all back and maybe then some, but I personally don't feel that I am unhealthy as I do exercise and try to eat right. but he says that he just can't help it, he wants me to lose weight in order to get married, have children, heck even to go to the beach! I really don't think it's right, but I'm not quite sure what to do. What do you think?
Answers: I met my bf while working at the post office. When I worked there I had lost between 30-40 pounds and since then have gained it all back and maybe then some, but I personally don't feel that I am unhealthy as I do exercise and try to eat right. but he says that he just can't help it, he wants me to lose weight in order to get married, have children, heck even to go to the beach! I really don't think it's right, but I'm not quite sure what to do. What do you think?
You're beautiful. I don't care that I don't know what you look like. If he can't see that, then find someone who can.
does he want you to lose it for your health or because he doesn't think you're attractive?
he should just accept it- BUT..
..if this is a legitimate concern, you should at least hear him out. I mean, think about it- would it really hurt you to lose weight? Or will it help you?
Also, consider the ramifications of gaining 40 pounds. That's a lot of weight to gain!
What if you met this guy, you were very attracted to him, and all of a sudden he LOST 40 pounds. Wouldn't be very fair to you and fair to your future expectations of that person, would it? What if he was very attractive to you, then dropped so much weight he looked anorexic. Would you have the guts to tell him to gain weight? That you missed the way he used to look?
I'm not saying you have to be thin to be beautiful, but put youself in his shoes. That's how relationships work.
weight seems to be a big deal for him. Tell him how you feel, if he can't get over it then maybe you both need to move on. You can't live your life worrying if your man is going to love you or not love you over 40 lbs of extra weight.
If he doesn't love you as you are - forget it!! He will never be happy, no matter how much weight you lose - next it will be surgical enhancements - dump him now - he is too shallow for you.
this obviously means he's only attracted to you physically and nothing more - its not worth it, your the one that knows urself more than anyone and you know ur not bad, so he shouldnt be saying anything like that. its not worth it, honestly. theres plenty of guys out there that like girls with curves
Maybe instead of trying to go on a diet for him... you both can do things that will keep you active... tennis, skiing, swimming, whatever. That might bring you two closer together and you'll both get in better shape and most likely stay in shape.
tell him youre happy with urself ,someone who loves you should love you reguardless of what you look like let him know you dont like what he's telling you.
he may be thinking that your fat. he may also think that your stomach is just air. he must know that your working hard for his conscience to work from your hard work.
If it's for any other reason than your health you drop that mother ****** like it's hot... no one deserves to be loved for their appearance... it's false and wrong and in the end not even love.
I would question his motives. If you are not obese and are a healthy weight then why should you lose weight. Ask him what happens if after you are married and have had kids and weigh more again. Is he going to be happy with that? If not maybe you aren't suited.
If you are genuinely overweight to the extent it could damage your health then maybe he has a point but isn't explaining it very well.
Your man is a jag off he should love the way you are ! Is he in shape to your liking ? Or are you really over weight and he is scared for you ? if not tell him you are uncomfortable with him saying these things if you are !
How about just doing what you do today but take slightly smaller portions? And try to avoid eating yourself very full. This way the belly shrinks a bit with time without you going hungry.
If you do have some excess body weight you will slowly reduce weight with time and you won't go hungry from it.
You can also demand something from your boyfriend. Tell him you want to see a washboard belly on that beach. Well defined arms wouldn't hurt either etc.
Otherwise you can always drop the boyfriend instead - that's loosing some unwanted excess weight in itself.
Dump him. He should love YOU for who you are, not what you look like. IF he truely loved you an extra 40 pounds is not enough to make him not love you anymore. Do you want to be his partner in life or a trophy wife??
wow...you got me tongue tied...he really said that??
although you may love him & being with him....it might be a warning sign that you need to look at before you even consider getting married!
i am sure you are both beautiful and healthy.
you should only be with someone who will accept you for who you are...through "thick or thin." ;)
if you are not happy with where you are, then you should lose weight, but, not for anyone else. i can understand...he is a visual person. but...
what will happen if you lose the weight, get married, have kids, put on extra weight from that, etc...??? sounds like he would divorce you? that is not acceptable! not "till death do us part."
just a thought to consider before even considering actually marrying him. of course, it is easier for me to say being on the outside & only reading one paragraph about your life.
i wish you the best in everything!
peace!
well its not up to eny1 els it up to you your the only 1 that can say if u think u need 2 los wight or not is you its what your happy at
I know that a lot of people keep saying break up with him but is he telling you to lose weight for your own health or is he just ashamed to be around you? if it's for purposes of your own health and you two are planning on starting a family then it makes some sense because pregnancy alone will make you gain a lot of weight which can be a struggle to get rid of. But if he's just saying it so he feels your good enough to take to the beach then dump his a$$!!
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