How do I overcome anorexia and depression?!
Question: Um hi. I kind of am always depressed and I am anorexic. I know anorexia is really bad but I want to be thin and I want people to say "Look how skinny she is!"...but in a good way. My parents think I'm anorexic and my sister does too...and some of my friends; but I haven't told them yet because I don't know what to do. I'm depressed because I feel like I have no friends, which I know I do have, but they don't really pay attention to me. I'm 5 foot 5 inches and about 105, but I'm absolutely sure how much I weigh right now. I don't know if that's good or bad for 5 foot 5 inches. I want to be skinny but now deadly skinny. Can someone give me some advice? Thanks for listening. -Katie
Answers: Um hi. I kind of am always depressed and I am anorexic. I know anorexia is really bad but I want to be thin and I want people to say "Look how skinny she is!"...but in a good way. My parents think I'm anorexic and my sister does too...and some of my friends; but I haven't told them yet because I don't know what to do. I'm depressed because I feel like I have no friends, which I know I do have, but they don't really pay attention to me. I'm 5 foot 5 inches and about 105, but I'm absolutely sure how much I weigh right now. I don't know if that's good or bad for 5 foot 5 inches. I want to be skinny but now deadly skinny. Can someone give me some advice? Thanks for listening. -Katie
I am so glad that I found your question...I am 46 and I have been battling anorexia/bullemorexia since I was 16.
What I came to find out through therapy..is that it is all about control. Wanting to be in control of who likes you, want to be in control of your parents noticing you etc..The bad thing is...tha every time you are complimented on your weight or your body..it feeds your ego which feeds your need to be in control.
Anorexia appears when we sort of realize that we DO NOT have control over things in our life. Including school, friends, family life etc.,..but in a twisted way, we do have control over our weight and we hold that sacred because no one can take it from you. Anorexia belongs to you. And the fact that you feel like you have no friends makes you want control for attention even more.
Now I will tell you how I learned to deal with it. I came from a family of 4 girls..all competing for parents love and attention and wanting to be the one that they favored...but it doesn't work that way.
At my worst, I was biking for miles, starving myself, throwing up if I ate something that made me feel full in any way, and at 5'6 I was at 97 lbs. Then I got married and got pregnant...the control yearning did not stop there. I drank alot of water and ate salads..My baby was born healthy but very thin. I looked at my baby in the hospital, and I realized that I was not just being careless..I was being selfish. I started eating, but I struggled when I saw someone thinner than me...I punished myself for losing the willpower to not eat. By now, I was 26.
Then I forced myself into therapy..not an inpatient..but just a shrink. He made me realize that my life is my own, I had to stop blaming certain people for not paying attention to me. I was responsible for my own actions.
By the age of 28, I was diagnosed with degenerative bone disease, stomach ulcers, colitis, diverticulitis, degenerative disc disease (back), autoimmune disorder, and so on. I have had to have several discs in my back replaced and fused and at the age of 46 I have brittle bone disease. I have caps on my teeth from damage of enamel loss from puking (I was never a binger, just a puker).
So let me tell you this..I learned to get this thing under control and not give a **** what other people thought of me. I am who I am and if people have issues with me then it is their issue, not mine. I have 1 best friend and that is all I need. I was popular in high school and believe me..popularity will not make a difference..you will still strive to be the one they like the best. Learn to do things on your own, people that you are meant to meet will be drawn to you for you.
I would now like to warn you about what exactly you are doing to your body.....you have read about my problems..and more pop up all the time. I live with chronic pain from failed back surgeries and brittle bones. I depleted myself of protein and vitamins which are important to maintain bones, muscle and tissue. If you continue on the road of starving yourself, you will pay the price later. I wish I could turn the clock back. My parents knew I was puking after meals and my husband when we were first married had no idea. No one stepped in to tell me what would happen.
My need to be in control is still there...but now I control myself with a healthy diet and exercise and meditation.
Who gives a rats *** if your friends like you. Let me tell you..the majority of the people that you are trying to impress will not remember your name in 10 years.
I went along time with no friends when I realized what was happening to me..so I took that time to meditate, listen to music, go to the mountains, go to the beachand eliminate the plastic people from my life. I was surprised to see how real people are attracted to real people.
Do not try to gain control in this manner..it can be deadly..and for what? What matters is that you wake up every morning, look in the mirror and love yourself. I have 2 daughters 18 and 23. I have taught them that they must love themselves before anyone can love them. And they do.
A compliment from someone will always fade. You control your life so do not get yourself into this spiral.
As far as the depression..anorexia and depression go hand in hand. tell your parents that you want to go talk to a psychiatrist or psychologist. They wont put you away, trust me, but they will be there for you to unload on and that will help more than you know. Antidepressants may be needed and that may help too. You are depressed because you have no control of who says what, who likes you and so on.
This is life..ups and downs..but you are you and you are beautiful. People paying attention to you will not make you love yourself..because the control issue will want you to be thinner and thinner.
If your family is noticing anorexia then it is probably true. Pay attention to yourself....you will always be there for you....your friends may not.
talk to a phycologist
you need somone to talk to. i was always depress to and everything seem to be going wrong for me too. I Know it sounds corney or whatver but you can write your feelings down in a journal too. NOT like a diary just a journal where you can write your feelings. or get close to your sister or a friend and just talk to her. talking always helps.