Friend question?!
Question: I really want to get back into shape. And my good friend is overweight and she's in a depressed mood. She always wants to indulge in eating out, and ice cream, cakes, cookies, High fatty restuarants--all the time! Problem is...I don't want to abandon her and I want to be there for her as she's going through her depression. But I need to get in shape- and I really don't want to eat out anymore. I don't want to offend her- but I want to tell her we can do other things besides going eating every day. How do I go about this?
Answers: I really want to get back into shape. And my good friend is overweight and she's in a depressed mood. She always wants to indulge in eating out, and ice cream, cakes, cookies, High fatty restuarants--all the time! Problem is...I don't want to abandon her and I want to be there for her as she's going through her depression. But I need to get in shape- and I really don't want to eat out anymore. I don't want to offend her- but I want to tell her we can do other things besides going eating every day. How do I go about this?
Hi Kay,
First thing I would like to say is that you are a very good friend! As a friend you can be there with a listening ear, support her, and sometimes as a motivator. The unfortunate thing is that most people who are depressed need to resort to something they can feel happy temporarily and this will be food. Every one of us has endured stress at one point but everyone deals with it in their way. Some people that turn to food when they are upset, hoping they will improve their negative feelings. This is referred as an emotional eater.
If you feel your friends situation is serious you should discuss this with a family member of your friends or another person close to her. It is perfectly fine to feel sad or upset with situations in your life but if these feelings stay weeks, months, or years then this will lead to things more severe. Depression is something that is serious and needs to be addressed. She would have to seek a doctor's advice on her situation and be referred to a specialist.
On the other hand, what you can do is discuss with your friend the negatives of always eating out, not exercising, and how being overweight is not healthy. You can tell her someone you know went to the doctor recently and he/she addressed that person should be eating healthier and exercising. You can ask your friend as if you were asking her for advice but already informing her on the negative consequences. Do your research on how to eat properly and exercise so you already have an idea of the benefits. If you are not sure you can always email me and I'll be glad to assist you so you get a general idea. Tell your friend you are worried and plan to make changes in your life because of this. Afterwards, you can mention you need her help as well so both of you can make positive changes for both of your lives. You can set out small goals for you and your friend such as begin an exercising program and eating out less times per week. Check out an article I wrote on Helium "how to get and stay motivated to exercise". You can go to my site to read the article at http://flex-fitness.com/articles.html and possibly after discussing this with her, this can motivate your friend to embark a positive change for her life and yours! Good luck and definitely keep us posted.
Richard Chan is a Health and Fitness Life Coach, promoting good health internally and externally. For more information you can visit Richard Chan at http://www.flex-fitness.com regarding exercising, training or nutrition.
Say your saw some t.v show on the effects on heart disease and make out you are afraid that eating out will increase health problems later in life ( all true by the way ). Or maybe you should lead by example and show the benefits of getting fit yourself, there's no better result than that of what;s infront of you.
you should avoid going out, and instead make meals at one of your houses, you should meet her at the gym occasionally, and then eat nutriciously afterward
Since you want to get back into shape yourself as well, you could try asking her to join a gym with you to keep each other motivated. I started taking more classes at my gym when I went with someone I already knew. If you're both beginners, thats even better because I know that sometimes going to a new gym can be intimidating and even a little scary-- its good to have a gym buddy. Also, you can try going grocery shopping together for healthier foods. Wegman's grocery offers some great recipes in their little magazine that aren't too difficult. Or, if you're not a great at-home cooks, you can go and take cooking class together. I'm not sure if there are any near where you live, but Cena foods is a great place to try. You can go in or go online and set-up a session to prepare great healthy meals-- as many as you want! Then you can freeze them and just cook them whenever! Here's their site-- http://www.cenatogo.com/menu/locate_stor...
I'm sure there are other places out there like this as well.
If you have ANY other questions, feel free to message me.
Best of luck with your friend and your new paths to a healthier lifestyle!
Give her best suggestion about health and body weight.Do'nt hate her immidiate,because maybe she will come back into shape from your suggestion.
Lead by example. Have your friend over for a feel good movie night (ie: Never Been Kissed) or a game night with a few other friends as well. Prepare some healthy fingerfood- wholesome finger sandwiches, veggie sticks, fruit with yoghurt dip.
Good eats, good company, a few laughs- everyone's enjoying themselves and it doesn't cost you much to put together. Just a bit of effort as facilitator. People can bring their own drinks, if they'd prefer something other than Water or fruit/veg juice.
Great as you're creating a positive memory for participants (including your friend who is down at the moment) and setting the ground work for more healthy get-togethers like it!
Good luck