Can someone review my essay, my professor says it does not flow.?!
Question: Can someone review my essay, my professor says it does not flow!.!?
Healthy eating and exercise are essential to the health and well-being of most people!. A healthy diet along with exercise can help you live longer, feel better about better food choices; provide you with more energy, help you stay at a healthy weight, and help you fight stress!.
Do you want to live longer and be healthier!? Then make that first step and maximize the benefits from being active and eating healthier!. It is important to make sure and eat fruits and vegetables daily, at least 5 servings!. The best way to be healthier is to incorporate into your daily routine eating fresh fruits and vegetables such as: apples, bananas, strawberries, pineapple, blueberries, grapes, carrots, potatoes, peas, and broccoli!. This list can go on and on and you will find there are plenty of fruit and vegetables that you will enjoy!.
Answers:
Do you want to live longer and be healthier!? Then make that first step and maximize the benefits from being active and eating healthier!. It is important to make sure and eat fruits and vegetables daily, at least 5 servings!. The best way to be healthier is to incorporate into your daily routine eating fresh fruits and vegetables such as: apples, bananas, strawberries, pineapple, blueberries, grapes, carrots, potatoes, peas, and broccoli!. This list can go on and on and you will find there are plenty of fruit and vegetables that you will enjoy!.
Answers:
For me personally, it's the fourth paragraph!. You began with the side effects of eating unhealthy, but then you lost it and went back to healthy eating!. Maintain the same main subject in each paragraph, don't jump around!. This can confuse the reader, or like the teacher said, create a loss of flow!. Also, in your second paragraph, try this sentence instead of the one you have: "This list is only a portion of a large variety, consisting of plenty of fruits and vegetables you may enjoy!."
Another thing, try to use positive yet non-forcing words!. The reader may feel as if your pushing them, rather than informing or encourging them!. For example, instead of saying "you will" try "you may"!. Hope this helps!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Another thing, try to use positive yet non-forcing words!. The reader may feel as if your pushing them, rather than informing or encourging them!. For example, instead of saying "you will" try "you may"!. Hope this helps!Www@Answer-Health@Com
This actually has the potential to be a grade of a B+, maybe higher!. However, your ideas need to be organized in a better manner/fashion!. Your ideas are great but you need to organize to entire essay in paragraph format:
1!. Introduction- present the thesis!.
2!. Body- argument 1
3!. Body- argument 2
4!. Body- argument 3
5!. Conclusion- present your final thoughts!.!.!.
-Prof!. Davenport, Sociology DepartmentWww@Answer-Health@Com
1!. Introduction- present the thesis!.
2!. Body- argument 1
3!. Body- argument 2
4!. Body- argument 3
5!. Conclusion- present your final thoughts!.!.!.
-Prof!. Davenport, Sociology DepartmentWww@Answer-Health@Com
It's good but when writing an informitive piece you are not supposed to talk directly to the reader!. Make sure you included good topic sentences and think of ways to make the transition flow smoothly by including stuff from the last paragraph in the starter sentence for your next paragraphWww@Answer-Health@Com
Sounds good to me!. I think his expectations are way too high!. You seem to have done some good research and provided facts, and gone into good detail!.
I'm a qualified clinical nutritionist and I can't see what's wrong with it!.
Well done!!Www@Answer-Health@Com
I'm a qualified clinical nutritionist and I can't see what's wrong with it!.
Well done!!Www@Answer-Health@Com
I don't think your proffesor read it right!. I think it was good but try improving your sentence structure by adding different words rather than just the over used words!. You know what I mean!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
i think your professor is a dunce because that essay flows beautifully!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
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