Do i have an eating disorder?!

Do i have an eating disorder?

ok i think i'm fat and sometimes i even see myself as ugly and i always think a boy will love me if i'm thinner. but when i went out with my boyfriend, i broke up with him because my body (he thought i was hot) was the only reason he ever hooked up with me. so then i thought that if i was bone-thin it would sort of - force guys to like me for ME and not my figure. i always compare myself to other girls. i skip lunch and try to skip breakfast - i feel very uncomfortable eating in public. i'm embarrassed to carry a lunch to school. i don't want people thinking i am a pig. now i can't get out of this. even tho i know that your metabolism stops working as well when you starve yourself and even tho i'm aware of this i keep starving myself. but then i get so hungry, i eat dinner and then sneak all this food in my room to eat alone. if my parents come in, i quickly shove it under the bed or somewhere unseen. but my weight has stayed the same and i look healthy. do i have an eating disorder?

1 week ago
on paper, it sounds like i have all the original symptoms of an eating disorder, but my weight has been the same ever since i started dieting. maybe a few pounds lost and gained here and there but pretty much normal. do i have one? my friends think i do. but i don't look starved at all. is it just low self-esteem?

1 week ago
sometimes i am grateful for my curves but other times i feel completely repulsive and unattractive and different from everyone else. i can't just "start eating" like my friends say. it doesn't work that way. also i think all my friends are prettier than me. for example this one boy said that a girl was "gorgeous" and he said that i was "great". was that a compliment or was he just saying in a polite way "you're not gorgeous"? i want to be small and delicate and fragile not muscular.

1 week ago
people at school are always comparing me and my friends and they say that my best friend is prettier than i am. the boys actually voted and she won. my friend is beautiful tho. and i'm not. i'm not ugly but i'm not pretty. i'm just plain. here's my myspace page: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fus...

1 week ago
i'm hard on myself. i know i am. nothing i do is ever good enough - it may be for other ppl but not for me. i just want to be beautiful.

yes you have an eating disorder. Not all ppl with eating disorders loose wait. Many ppl who are bulimic have normal weights. If you have curves then rock them, there will be a guy who likes you and your body. I think you should talk to someone you trust about your problems. You need to raise your self esteem and start eating normally little by little not all in one day. Good luck and i really hope you get better.