Is this unhealthy for me?!

I've been hitting the gym 4-5 days a week now, since this past November. My goal is to lose 30 pounds, maybe a little less, depending on how I feel and how healthy I look once I drop some weight. I also really want to tone up. I don't mind being bigger (I'm 5'6"-ish and around 165 pounds currently), I just want to be toned and look nice. But I think I have a problem. I'm vegetarian, and yes I eat tofu and make sure I get my protein in, but I don't eat very much food. I don't think I even top 1000 calories a day. My mom says this is really unhealthy and that I'm going to get sick, but I feel as though eating when I'm NOT HUNGRY is even more unhealthy. I eat when my stomach growls, and not before that. I have a set meal schedule, and I do my best to eat healthy food.

I just need to know if the small amount of calories I consume is unhealthy, considering I burn about 800 at the gym the days I go. I also have 1 hour of ballet every Wednesday, and we work pretty hard, and I don't know how many calories I'm burning. D:

Please tell me I'm not harming my body, because I hate to put food in it when it isn't asking for it... To me that's like trying to force a car with a full tank of gas to take more fuel. Not gonna work! It'll just purge, which is what I do when I eat way too much when I'm not hungry.

If there's a healthier way to eat, please tell me! I don't want to lose weight the unhealthy way...