I'm pretty sure I have an Eating Disorder, and I don't want it anymore!
Question: I'm pretty sure I have an Eating Disorder, and I don't want it anymore. :(?
That's not the point, though. All of a sudden i was eating EVERYTHING, and I couldn't stop... So I moved to Laxatives, I would take anywher from 22-36 EVERY single night. It was terrible.
I was okay for a few months I suppose, but then got back on laxatives.
Like 6 months ago I got to restricting really badly again, but the last 4 or 5 I haven't been eating TOO TOO much, but alot of it I throw up.
So, I've been pucking 2-3 times a day, until I won't be able to for a couple days, in which I just try not to eat to much... ... and I've been taking 6-14 laxatives a night.
I don't want to do this stuff. Honest. ... but I don't know HOW to. I'm 18 freaking years old. I am old enough to just stop, I just don't know how. You know? It's not fun. ... and If i told people they'd think I was stupid (I don't live with my mom - I live with my aunt now)... ... but it's not what I want. I want to be a skinny healthy girl. A girl who does't feel guilty for 6 hours after simply eating 2 grilled cheeses for dinner, which was me last night. I couldn't even sleep because I had ate it and didn't have the energy to throw it up.
FREAKING ARG.
Answers:
You have anorexia and bulimia.
This is a serious disease,it will hurt you physically,mentally and internally.
You need to get help,tell someone close to you,don't be afraid.
They will be WANTING to help you,care for you and help you get through this.
You need to find what cause this and tell me so I can help you more.
Was it that you wanted to change yourself?you needed feel like you had control of you life?you felt "big"?People were teasing you?
There are a lot of girls going through what you are nowadays.
False image is everywhere,magazines,tv,movies.
Skinning with bones showing has been seen to be beautiful to those in the fashion industry,In reality people see it as sad,humans were meant to have flesh on their bones.They girls you see in magazines are photoshopped to the max clearing up ANY flaw,thinning out their thighs arms and enlarging their breasts ect.It's false.
I'm so sorry that you had to go through this,NO ONE deserves this pain.
You need to remember that you are beautiful,that you can overcome this.
you NEED 1200 calouries a DAY to survive,No less.
Try taking steps to get out of this.
1.Write little notes everywhere,reminding you that you are perfect and don't deserve this self torture.
On your mirror write "I can do this" were you throw-up write "This isn't getting me anywhere,life is precious,Stop".On the fridge "A little closer to freedom"
2,Get support,there is nothing better than knowing someone else has your back and wants to help you.
3.Gradually eat,It may seem like this monster at first but just enjoy it,food isn't supposed to hurt you it was created to give you the vitamins and energy you need to survive.
4.Treat yourself to something that makes you feel good,whether it be a cute dress some pretty earnings whatever makes you happy
5.Know that you aren't alone,millions of people are going through the same thing
6.Believe in yourself,you can overcome this.
7.You don't NEED this,you have chosen this way to feel like you have power in your life,control of it.
8.I am a stranger,I don't know you,what you have experienced but I do know that I care about you,that I want you to feel free and happy.
My Mum was Anorexic/bulimic when she was your age, she got through it and is now a stronger person.
I was on the verge of it,she help guide me out.