Uncle's dad died, my aunt called my mom today; please read? need advice :[?!
Question: My uncle's dad had a very serious type of cancer. Even the morphine wasn't helping. He was given 1 month to live last week, and today.. he passed away. Just at 10:15 am. actually. My aunt called my mom and asked her to tell everybody.
Christmas is days away; what do we do!?
They are supposed to come over Christmas Eve, and its a tradition, I would never want to be selfish about somebodys death.. but wouldn't coming over and enjoying yourself especially on Jesus' Birthday be the smart thing to do? Plus, we exchange gifts every year on Christmas Eve, and that kind of thing. It will most likely ruin my whole Christmas if they are not here...
I know that it takes a while to get over a death, they have two daughters [ my cousins ].
What should my mom and me do? It is not our pappy. It is my aunts husband [ so my uncle's ] dad.
We were going to bake food and take it over but we are lost in what to do. I really don't need the stress..
PLEASE HELP!? advice!?!?
Answers: My uncle's dad had a very serious type of cancer. Even the morphine wasn't helping. He was given 1 month to live last week, and today.. he passed away. Just at 10:15 am. actually. My aunt called my mom and asked her to tell everybody.
Christmas is days away; what do we do!?
They are supposed to come over Christmas Eve, and its a tradition, I would never want to be selfish about somebodys death.. but wouldn't coming over and enjoying yourself especially on Jesus' Birthday be the smart thing to do? Plus, we exchange gifts every year on Christmas Eve, and that kind of thing. It will most likely ruin my whole Christmas if they are not here...
I know that it takes a while to get over a death, they have two daughters [ my cousins ].
What should my mom and me do? It is not our pappy. It is my aunts husband [ so my uncle's ] dad.
We were going to bake food and take it over but we are lost in what to do. I really don't need the stress..
PLEASE HELP!? advice!?!?
I can't imagine what it must feel like to lose a parent, so I don't know for SURE what they would feel like doing. I think, in a way, that you're right. It's Jesus' birthday, and He's the most comforting person that there is. The best thing you could do, would be to just talk to them. I know that they probably don't feel like it right at this moment, but you DO need to talk to them. If they don't want to come over, it's understandable, 'cause losing a parent is a hard thing. Yes, it might inconvenience your family, but just put yourselves in his shoes. It would be hard to lose a parent... Very hard. The best thing would be to just talk to them. I'll keep them in my prayers.
let them make the choice of whether they want to go over or not. it's not up to you.
Your aunt is in mourning. Let her mourn. She doesn't want to celebrate anything right now. Take her food, ask whether you and your mom can sit and eat with her and spend time with her. But don't try to force her to participate when she doesn't feel like it. It won't help her right now. My dad died on Christmas eve. No way could anyone celebrate Christmas that year. It gets better. But you guys need to be there for her when she needs you and stop thinking about how it ruins your Christmas, because hers is already runied right now. Be there for her but don't force her.
Death is just another part of life and your uncle's dad wouldn't want you to not celebrate Christmas. If you can somehow find a way to communicate to the family to celebrate his life and all the good memories of him that you all share, instead of dwelling upon the suffering he went through, you will all be much healthier for it.
Would he want you all to sit around and be glum for the Holidays?
I think not.
Be grateful for the time you had with him
Good luck
Dealing with a Death is hard, it seems even especially hard during the holidays. I have experience death with several members in my immediate family. But, you know. Life really does go on and it helps to think they are no longer in pain. I do believe, there is life after death.
I say you go ahead with your plans, and it is really OK to talk about your feelings, think about the good times, that you have have or had with your love ones. Our family does it all the time, we get the laughing and talking and remembering some even crying. But, it feels good to get it out and then only then can we truly move on.
Have a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year. God Bless.
When a chopstick is used to chop wood instead of eat food it is under stress. It is being misused. This time of year people should be focused on giving to others. There is more happiness in Giving than there is in receiving. Focus on giving needed consolation and assistance to those you love and peace will come.
People die around Christmas time too. Man up, stop being so selfish, and deal with it the best you can.
the only advice i could give you is not to mourn over his death, but just to thank God that he decided to take your dad's uncle so he wouldn't have to suffer cancer or to suffer on this earth anymore. and pray to god that he will make you and your family strong so that you all can make it through the holidays without your dad's uncle.
Making a meal and bringing it over is the best thing to do in a situation like this. Grieving families often don't have the drive to cook or even order out.
So, I say make a meal, go over sit with them and comfort them.
Sorry to hear of your families loss.
Thats a tough one to answer. All you can do is go ahead w/your plans, and hope things work.out. Light a candle for him. Caring is helpful.
your mighty selfish to be so worried about presents.
My nanna died on christmas day so i know exactly how they feel, i wouldn't try to force them into coming over, but tell them they are still welcome to come round your house. Don't feel guilty for enjoying yourself though on christmas day, i'm sure that he would want you to have a good time.